Monday, June 20, 2005

From the Morning

"His parents divorced when he was in the third grade. Mom and dad couldn't get along anymore, so they just split, on many levels. Mom stayed, dad left, and insanity ensued.

He didn't know who did what wrong or what the details were, only that his world had been turned upside down. At any rate, the details didn't matter, only the consequences, paid by an innocent bystander.

It was a horrific time for this frightened young boy, made even worse when he realized that there would be no men in his life."

Read the rest of this story in From the Morning

There are so many men that have been affected on so many levels by a culture of divorce. I remember one of my best friends in high school whose parents divorced. He had to move after his sophomore year, but thank God, we have kept in touch all these years. Divorce back then was still something rare, and I know there was a lot of shame and confusion he faced in the years to come. We both met the Lord about the same time, and we have shared the love of brothers all these years.
My heart breaks for boys whose parents give up, and for men who have remained emotionally stuck as wounded boys in their adulthood. I know there is hope. God provides everything we need for healing and restoration, but men need to be led to Him, and nurtured and encouraged by other men.
Linda and I have been "at the edge" of divorce before. We have entertained the thought through a couple of very rough times in our marriage. We have decided, though, that divorce is not the answer, and it has its own set of new problems. Our marriage has been strengthened by the resolve to push through our selfishness and get to the root of our mess before we give up. We have had to rely on God's grace to get us through, because we know his Word tells us, "My grace is sufficient for you."
Getting to the root is painful. Each person has to give up their rights and put away their selfishness to take a hard look at themselves. It involves a level of humility that can be, well..humiliating, even to shame. Our guilt has to be dealt with carefully so as not to allow shame to overtake us.
Healing comes eventually, if we take care of the wounds. If we just cover up the wound and not deal with it, we become numb to the pain, but the wound is still there. The next time something happens, it's like picking a scab of an infected wound, and all the infection comes out. Until emotional wounds are dealt with, they never quite heal.
I got on a bunny trail, sorry... The story from "From the Morning" made me think about how glad I am for my daughter, our two boys, and our two grandkids that we have decided to work on our "stuff" and stay together. I am thankful for grace.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your link and words!