Tuesday, April 19, 2005


I have had no meaningful thoughts go through my head, consequently, I have written nothing. My thoughts have been taken over by the urgency of the tasks I need to complete each day. Now that I have begun to work in another city and there is but 2 or 3 weeks of school left, my days and thoughts have been reduced to prioritized lists of daily activities. I'll be glad when school is over for the summer. I may take the summer off to recover. I think I'm too old to push myself like I used to, and even if I'm not, it's not worth it.
Posted by Hello

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Stripping Away the Old Finish

This week already has been one of many hard lessons. I was reading a book last night by Thomas Weeks III; his idea was this: If you hired a contractor to refinish your fine hardwood floors, he wouldn't just put varnish over what you had.... you would expect him to strip off the old varnish and sand the floors down to their bare, natural state. He would then have to carefully fill any cracks and repair gouges, loose boards, etc., before he started the finishing process. My experience has been that it takes lots of work, preparation and several coats of finish to make a floor look right.
God does the same thing with us. He strips us down to what he originally created, fills in our rough places, heals our wounds, and nails down the "loose boards"... It is a process, and sometimes a painful one. I was frustrated last night because , once again, I find myself in a struggle with something that has always been a struggle for me. And once again, God is taking off the old, dirty, scarred finish from my life, stripping me down to the bare original creation, so he can refinish me, layer by layer.
The process of growth into prosperity is one of being willing to have yourself restored. God is always willing. We are the hindrance., especially when we try to do it ourselves. Reading "how-to" and self help books or even listening to sermon after sermon gives us information, but ultimately, it comes down to submitting ourselves to a Holy Father, laying down our flesh and allowing Him to change us, one layer at a time.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Eph 2:10

Monday, April 04, 2005

Free Dog


"Cuddles" Free to good home. Gentle with children, great lapdog.

We had to recently "adopt-out" our pit chihuahua/dingo mix. Linda couldn't stand her any more. For that matter, none of us could stand her any more. She had a brain the size of a pea and the intelligence of a rock. Phoebe was constantly tearing something up...didn't matter what it was... It could be plants, sticks, charcoal briquettes, a shoe, a toy, or whatever else got within her reach. She was particularly fond of my daughter's panties... the crotch especially.
I put a flyer up with her picture on it and gave her away within an hour. She really was a cute dog, and I'm sure someone with energy and time could make her into a good pet. But she didn't fit into this family. I will never have another little dog for a pet. I'll stick to beagles.
Posted by Hello

Friday, April 01, 2005


Michael Shaivo has a wicked heart. I am still horrified over the death of this poor woman, Terry Shaivo. I can't imagine why, in America, we could stand by and let this happen. She was murdered, and cruelly so. There's NO WAY she could have passed away "beautifully and peacefully" as his (Michael's) slime, low-life attorney kept saying. I watched my dad die.....his death was quick, but he still suffered. Death is NOT an easy process. It's NOT like the movies, where they just close their eyes and stop. Had it not been for all the morphine in Dad, I'm sure it would have been even more painful for him. And if it was so peaceful and Terry had no pain, why were the hospice people giving her morphine?
I guess all this surrounds the issue of whether or not a spouse should have the say in whether or not the other spouse should be "allowed" to die. Who has that power except God? We have an out of control, unaccountable judiciary who has ignored congress and even our President, who represent THE PEOPLE. Michael Shaivo had already broken his covenant vows with his wife and had UNFAITHFULLY, SELFISHLY, and SHAMEFULLY taken another. He is an adulterer, a cheat, and a murderer. I believe he gave up all rights when he broke his marriage vows. I want to know: what would have been so bad about letting her LIVE??? All he had to do was let her go and give her back to her parents, who were more than happy to take on the responsibility of taking care of her.
So now the courts are deciding who is fit to live and who should die by starvation. This was NOT a matter of just disconnecting a life support system on a person that was about to die, who was being kept alive only by artificial means. She could have well lived another 15 years or more, and possibly been rehabilitated to a point of talking and eating on her own. She was starved to death! My God.....it took her 14 days to die! Can you imagine? That's how long it would take a HEALTHY person to survive if they did not eat or drink. This was an unnecessary and barbaric death. It was a murder, legalized by an arrogant judge.
What's to say, if I had a stroke, and was paralyzed from the neck down, and Linda had to feed me because I was unable to do it myself.... and say she got tired of doing that....or the state wouldn't pay for my care because I was deemed a "burden".... can the court now say, "Stop feeding him..."?????? "He can't take care of himself any longer, he's a vegetable, he's sub-human...."
Scary thought, but not that far from reality. I remember the stupid, useless and humanistic scenario we did in high school once.... We had to pretend we were in a group of people; a lawyer, a priest, a mother, an old person, a child, an architect, and a janitor..... then we had to imagine we were marooned on an island with limited food and only enough for all but one person....so who would have to die? I can't believe we actually had to discuss this and I thought then, just as I do now, that the exercise was one of the most useless and barbaric discussions we ever had. I think I got sent to the office for my "intolerance." Freaking * )(%@#!@#$_ liberal teacher. It was she that was intolerant.
I hope I am never faced with having to take care of someone I love that is in a situation like that. I think about my sister, who endured much suffering and pain when her husband had to overcome damage caused by surgery of a tumor attached to his brain stem. He lost all the motor skills on his left side. There are months that are a total blank to him. I remember going to see him. He could not talk, eat, swallow, or even breathe on his own. There were those that said he would never walk again, or function normally. That was 6 years ago, and today he walks, he eats by himself, and he is even in college. I'm so proud of my sister for sticking with her husband, even though she could have given up. I'm so proud of my brother-in-law for having the tenacity, persistence and determination to make it as far as he has.
I hang my head in shame for an America that failed Terry Shaivo, and have deep sorrow for the 80% of the (uninformed and naive) American public who thought it was OK and justified. We have let a horrible thing happen. It's a good thing the Pope doesn't live in Florida...