Tuesday, July 05, 2005

There's a Reason I Don't Go to Movies

Here are the Friday-Sunday (and Friday-Monday) for the top 10 films, based on final studio figures released Tuesday and compiled by Exhibitor Relations:

1. War of the Worlds, $64.9 million ($77.1 million)
2. Batman Begins, $15.6 million ($19.3 million)
3. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, $10.6 million ($12.7 million)
4. Bewitched, $9.2 million ($11.1 million)
5. Herbie: Fully Loaded, $8.8 million ($10.8 million)
6. Madagascar, $5.4 million ($6.7 million)
7. Rebound, $5 million ($6 million)
8. Star Wars: Episode III--Revenge of the Sith, $4.1 million ($5 million)
9. The Longest Yard, $3.3 million ($4 million)
10. The Land of the Dead, $2.7 million ($3.3 million)

We've heard Hollywood complaining about a slowdown in movie ticket sales. Some quick math of the above figures totals $156,000,000 FOR THE FREAKING WEEKEND!!! Not a bad take, and I'm sorry the Hollywood fatcats may not be able to buy the extra 120 lbs. of caviar and may have to scale the party down to $750,000 this week. Sheesh.
Just looking at the top 10 movies, there's nothing there I really want to see... 7 out of the 10 are either remakes or spinoffs /sequels/ part of another story from another movie. I think if Hollywood wants people like me to start going to the movies again, they need to change a few things. Here's some ideas:
1. Make a movie that is ORIGINAL and has a decent story, maybe even some good acting from someone believable. Some serious drama, not just shooting and explosions... I mean, really, can a hot chick like Angelina Jolie really control firearms like that anyway? And who gets shot at that many times and not hit for 2 hours? And who really has that much drama in a lifetime anyway? Hmmmmmm?????
2. Let actors do what they are best at: pretending acting. Put in their contract that if they want to be idiots in the political arena, they should do what the rest of the idiots do: run for office and get elected. Keep their mouths shut or make them pay for political advertising. No one really cares what they think. I don't need to hear a high school dropout, pretty-boy, elitist, moron telling me what to think.
3. If they are going to show remakes and crappy movies, then charge less for the ticket. I mean, really, is that garbage really worth $8-10 to see? Last movie I actually went to a theater to view, there was only about 7 people in there anyway. Maybe if it didn't cost so much, there would be more attending. I would rather have 100 people in a theater that paid me $3 or $4 for a ticket than a dozen who paid $8. (Maybe they need to hire someone to do the math.)
4. What about the price of POPCORN? You are charging me $7.50 for about 25 cents worth of kernels and 5 cents worth of oil. I know you have to pay the midnight-basketball reject young man selling it to me, but I'll bet you'd sell a lot more popcorn if you only charged $2 or $3 for a large bucket and maybe $1 for a soda. Or let us bring our own.
5. Don't allow anyone under 5 to attend a movie intended for an audience of people who can actually read and write. I don't want to hear your kids crying, or you telling them to keep quiet.
6. Don't allow cell phones in the theater, or block the reception. Who the hell is that freaking important that you have to take a call in the middle of a movie? Back before there were cell phones, these inconsiderate morons people got along just fine for a couple of hours without them.
7. Clean the damn theater in between movies. I keep my place of business clean for my clients, and I would expect them to not do business with me if my floor was sticky from spilled soda and had trash all over. What do you pay those pimply-faced kids ushers standing outside for anyway?
8. Make movies I can enjoy with my family. Most of the language and sex in a movie is for effect anyway. I've seen movies on television without all the foul language and gratuitous sex and got the point of the movie just fine. It's not really necessary. Not everybody really talks that way, or think it's a right to fornicate or commit adultery.

Hollywood doesn't get it, they're out of touch with the ordinary people that pay their salaries. I mean, when it comes down to it, they are working for us, right?

1 comment:

Billy Shears said...

You are so right.

What has happened to filmdom?

Explore the question at http://cinemasqueeze.blogspot.com

Thanks for the post.