Thursday, May 19, 2005

Me, The Dead Guy, and His Buddies

Sometimes I feel like I have a giant hole in the middle of me that can't be filled with anything, no matter how hard I try. Truth is, I really do... I was feeling particularly empty today, for whatever reason, and the old life started bugging me. You know....the old dead man that lives inside me...the old guy I try to resurrect every time I feel that way.

I drag out the dead guy and say, "Lets find something to do that's exciting!" The dead guy just follows me... No matter what I do or how excited I get, the dead guy just can't get satisfied. He begins to get heavier and heavier as I continue to carry him around. Somewhere along the way, we pick up Shame. The dead guy holds him quite well. Then a little further down the way, we pick up Guilt, who happily comes along for the ride, even adding his own guilt as we go. Not much later, Old Habits pop up. They're familiar company.

Now I remember....some time ago, I put this old dead guy on the altar, but I keep going back to pick him up. What's wrong with me anyway? Before long he always gets too heavy for me to keep carrying around. So today I finally decided I was not going to carry that old, dead rotting flesh with me and decided to take a walk without him and just talk with God. No burden there... in fact, he lifted whatever burden I had, and filled that hole inside. I needed just a little time with Him, to fill that empty space.

I feel much better now.

Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

2 comments:

Chris said...

What a beautiful way of putting it. I like that.

Tricia said...

Piko - you have a wonderful way with words - this is positively
Hannah Hurnard. Honestly - it's poetry. Wow. Tricia