Monday, July 24, 2006

Things I wonder about

Why do people think they look cool with one of those Bluetooth things in their ear?

Why do I want to flick that little Bluetooth thingy every time I see one?

Why do people who aren’t all that important think they have to carry on a cell phone conversation- loudly - in public- and that somehow makes them look important?

I wish I had a device to electronically disable the cell phone of someone who is rudely and boorishly carrying on a conversation in front of me, holding up the line, when they should be focused instead on what they’re doing and not hold up the line.

Why do people with ghetto-bass in their car think I want to hear it too?

I wish I had a remote device that would turn up the bass on someone’s already-too-loud car speakers so loud, that it would permanently fry their system.

Why do people with a little fish decal on the back of their car drive like hell?

Why do people drive slow in the left lane on the highway when every ¼ mile there is a sign that says “Left Lane for Passing Only?”

I wish I had one of those lighted marquis signs in my back windshield so I could send messages to those people.

Why do liberals have long toes?

Why do 40 year old men think a goatee looks cool on them?

Why are there always huge people driving little bitty cars?

Why do people on a diet eat cottage cheese? I only see fat people eating it.

Why can a skinny guy eat two triple bacon cheeseburgers, large fries, and a 44 oz chocolate shake for lunch 4 times a week?

And eat Ding-Dongs and drink Dr. Pepper all day?

And never gain weight?

Why do homeless people always have money for cigarettes?

Why do women with large rears wear stretch pants?

Why is Dr. Z and Taylor Hicks on every 3rd commercial? I think we got it...

Am I the only one who thinks Taylor Hicks dances like Elaine Bennis on "Seinfeld?"

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