Memed again - Useless information

This one from elisabeth, who thinks I have nothing better to do.

60 things you didn't want to know...
What time did you get up this morning? Slept in until 6:30 - I'm usually up by 5:30
Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. In gold...
What was the last film you saw at a Cinema? See this
What is your favorite TV show? 24...America needs Jack Bauer
What did you have for breakfast this morning? Barbacoa ...look it up...corn tortillas, some extremely hot picante, apple juice and a pot of black coffee. Breakfast of Champions
Biggest Fear? My ability to sabatoge myself
What is your middle name? The
What is your favorite cuisine? Italian
What foods do you dislike? Pickled beets...ewwwww
Your favorite potato chip? I prefer tortilla chips
What kind of car do you drive? Mercedes Benz, I'll never drive anything else
What is your favorite CD at the moment? the one paying me 5.5%....huh?...oh, I thought you meant Certificate of Deposit
Favorite sandwich? A carne guisada taco
What characteristics do you despise? an ego bigger than my own, someone who lies to me, and moronism
Favorite item of clothing? My hawiian shirt
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Back to the Marshall Islands, scuba diving
What color is your bathroom? hell if I know
Favorite clothing store? Salvation Army - I once bought a wool overcoat there for $6
Where would you like to retire to? Guadalajara half the year, and South Padre Island the other half
Favorite time of day? Very early, before anyone gets up
Where were you born? I was created in a lab
Favorite sport? To play...golf. To watch...golf.
What laundry detergent do you use? Only my dry cleaner knows for sure
Coke or Pepsi? Shiner Bock
Are you a morning or a night owl? definitely morning
What size shoe do you wear? 9.5
Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? elisabeth's fish is Pregnant!!!
What did you want to be when you were little? bigger.. and wealthy
Favorite candy bar? Butterfinger
What is your best childhood memory? When I sold enough Christmas cards to afford a brand new purple "Royce Union" 10-speed. I worked my ass off for it.
What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Circus midget, pope, taxi-driver, bus-driver, UPS driver, sod-layer, shoe salesman, pizza delivery, lawn boy, pool boy, towel boy, shoe shine boy, boy toy, optician, stockbroker, cracker salter, elephant pooper-scooper
Nicknames? Pauly the Bull...say it with respect
Piercing? My voice and my eyes
Eye color? bloodshot
Ever been to Africa? Once, when I was Pope
Ever been toilet papering? It was my career in high school. I mentored dozens in the art. Once my friends and I went "papering" after Christmas, taking discarded Christmas trees from people's curbs. We took posthole diggers and "planted" the trees in someone's yard and THEN papered them...and erected a sign that said, "Welcome to a Winter Wonderland." It was a work of art.
Love someone so much it made you cry? My wife makes me cry all the time...for a variety of reasons.
Been in a car accident? Too many....but never in a Benz
Croutons or bacon bits? neither...give me steak
Favorite restaurant? Pignetti's in Temple. The grilled salmon on creamed spinach is to die for.
Favorite flower? Calla lily
Favorite ice cream? Rum Raisin
Disney or Warner Brothers? Warner....Animaniacs....
Favorite fast food restaurant? Mama Wong's Chicken hut
How many times did you fail your driver's test? I have never failed any test
Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? President Bush (shhhhh)
Which store would you max out your credit card at? Any electronics store
What do you do when you're bored? Memes
Bedtime? Somewhere between 10:30 and 12:00
Who did you go to dinner with last? My wife
What are you listening to right now? The voices in my head
What is your favorite color? The sky in the morning
Lake, Ocean or river? Ocean

From "You Can't Be A Christian," by

"From the Morning"
Don't you hate it when people scoff at the idea that 'so and so' is a 'born-again Christian.' "What a hypocrite" they (the very people who reject Christianity) proclaim, "He has done so many bad things."

Its ironic, if not hypocritical, that many people who reject Christianity on 'moral' grounds are eager to judge others as being unworthy of Christianity."

read the rest of the story here

I've witnessed (and been a part of) the same type of hypocrisy in the church. We "forgiven" need to remember who we are...forgiven. I can speak of this first hand, since I have been guilty of this...judging someone who has sin in their life and condemning them, even shutting them out. The worst of the worst hypocrisy is among church members. Brother Lustalot falls and all of a sudden we are quick to blame and cast him out of the church, rather than having compassion and reaching out to restore the man.

Or Sister Bucketmouth, who can never find a good thing to say at the church annual meeting, is shunned, condemned and gossiped about, rather than trying to get to the root of her bitterness and restoring her. I can cite a dozen examples, but this is a limited format...

We need to remember where we came from. God saved us while we were still sinners. Every time I feel like a brother or sister has offended me, or is in sin, I need to remember grace... I'm not perfect and God still forgives me. If He can forgive me, then He can forgive that man or woman we can be so quick to judge. We tend to want grace for ourselves, but judgment for others. There's a double standard sometimes, and God hates it.

Remember the parable of the man whose debt was forgiven, yet he refused to forgive one who owed him less than he was forgiven for... He was "given over to the tormentors."

Just a thought...

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Galations 6:1

Haloscan and prior comments

I added Haloscan for my comments and it wiped out all my prior comments. Some of them were good and had links to other blogs... Sorry, I lost them. If you'd like to add your comments to link to your blog again, please do. Thanks...
Pauly the Bull

It's time for a new church

Since Miss June died, we now have to make a decision about church. I have had the desire to begin a church here in Temple, but I'm not quite sure what we are going to do, or how to go about it. I'm not a pastor at heart, that's not really one of my ministry gifts, but I like to teach and I feel comfortable preaching. Actually, I feel most comfortable when I am facilitating a discussion.
I don't have all the answers, and I don't want to be the center of the church meeting. I believe that when a group of believers meets it is for the encouragement of the entire group. It's not just about gathering in pews to hear a professional minister deliver a riveting sermon (or often, a boring one.) I think that people should bring their ministry gifts to the meeting with them with the intent of using them. So in our services, if someone can sing, I let them sing. If someone has another or better idea about what I am teaching, I let them share. And if someone has the gift of prophecy, they can prophesy.
So, if you pray, I'm asking the Lord for some direction here... I think there are a bunch of people that are virtually "untouched" by Christianity. I mean the type of Christianity that doesn't care what side of town you live on, what you wear to church, or if you have piercings, tattoos, or like to drink beer. Hell, I'm open to having a keg and fire up the smoker after church if I can just show Christ's love to someone who needs it. Ever hear a bunch of people singing Amazing Grace after a few beers?
I don't know what exactly we're going to do. I guess that's what's so great about serving God and waiting for Him to answer.... Life's always a surprise.

Miss June

I went to the funeral of a friend of mine today. Last fall my pastor told me about a little old lady who was in a wheelchair and homebound. He said she wanted someone to come to her house and have church with her. He asked me if I would be willing to do that and I told him,"No." That was my first thought and reaction, but as God would have it, before long my wife and I started making the 20 minute trip to Harker Heights to minister to "Miss June."
I remember for a few times we met, it was just Linda, me, and Miss June. Once I had to go by myself because Linda had another church she was speaking in and just one other person showed up. Thanks, Kim for being faithful in hearing God's call that morning.
The last meeting we had at Miss June's there were about 20 people there. She had a way of drawing people, speaking to them and challenging all of us. Even though she could barely speak and she was hard to understand, when she spoke, every word was worth hearing. She spoke once about geodes. She talked about her and her husband being "rock hounds" and how they would look for these beautiful geode crystals. She told us how it took incredible pressure to create them. She encouraged us to embrace the pressures of life, that they would eventually create beauty in us if we would just persevere.
Miss June didn't talk much, as it was very hard for her to speak. I can't think of a single time she spoke that she didn't have something deep or prophetic to speak to us. She told me not long ago that I was being too hard on myself. (I can get kindof transparent in church sometimes.) She spoke simply, "God loves you," to me. Wow. That's all I needed to hear that day....church over...
I painted a small painting for her that she put on the mantle of her fireplace, next to some priceless pieces of jade sculpture. (She had lots of one-of-a-kind sculptures from the east in her home.) I painted her a Mother's Day card and she put it up there as well. She liked my artwork and that was inspiration for me to paint more. Why? This lady was an artist too....trained by a renowned Texas artist, John Carter. She was no slouch...
She sang opera. She was on the Board of Regents at Central Texas College. She was a realtor...not just any realtor, mind you, she put possibly hundreds of real estate agents to work with the 2 offices she had in Killeen and Copperas Cove. She was one of the pioneers for businesswomen in central Texas. She was a mentor to many, a friend, and a giver. As much as she accomplished, as much as she did, she was humble, kind, and my friend. And she loved God. She considered me her pastor, and told my pastor, "I have a spiritual life again." That meant a lot for me to hear that. Miss June will be missed, but not for long. I know I'll see her again.

Yes, It Really Is Possible, and Worth the Wait

Linda and I went to a very unusual wedding last night. It was held outdoors, in the country. Not so unusual, but lately we've had a string of 100+ degree days and yesterday was no exception. I got there expecting to sweat for 2 hours, but surprisingly, it was cool under the shade of some large oak trees. Also, the house was on top of a hill, and there was a nice breeze. Tables were set up and decorated all over the yard, and the outdoor "church" was set up in the back. The decorators had taken a lot of time, obviously, to swag the purple tooling along the cedar-post fence, and even the cattle gate was decorated. The grass was neatly mowed, and a layer of flower petals lay in the aisle. White Christmas lights were strung all along the fence and in the oaks. It was a very nice setting.
The kids were having a great time running around as kids will do outdoors. The bridal party came up to the front in the usual manner, as did the bride and her brother, who gave her away. (Her father is deceased.) The vows were said in a traditional manner, and the officiant, their pastor, gave a traditional explanation of the significance of the rings, and told a brief anecdote about the couple. Not too unusual so far...
But here's what was unusual, even extraordinary about this wedding. During the presentation of the rings, the preacher took a few minutes to talk about the couples years of courtship and engagement. Turns out they met at church, their entire courtship was spent in that church and the pastor knew them quite well. He went on to say that both of them had remained sexually pure, saving themselves for each other as husband and wife. WOW. Take a minute to let that sink in. The bride then presented her husband with a ring she received at age 13, when she pledged sexual purity until marriage. WOW. Take another minute...
The groom is 25, and the bride is 20. In this society where so many young people think it is an intrinsic right to have sex with whomever they want, there are still some who decide to wait until marriage. That's cool. I gained a new respect for our youth, and also for the pastors, teachers, youth leaders, and others who encourage young people to wait until marriage. It can be done. Last night confirmed it for me.
I wrote about sex in an earlier post. I was dismayed at someone's blog that was extremely harsh in its criticism of Christians' view on sex. So many people, especially young people, don't get it. We are bombarded through the media, sex-ed programs, and entertainers on a perverted view of sexuality. It's not any one group's fault, our society has just been conditioned that way. There are reasons Christians stand for purity and discourage sex outside of marriage. I can only hope what I witnessed last night was an encouragement to the young people that attended. And I can hope that the "Worth the Wait" and abstinence programs continue to influence many more young people to remain sexually pure. I hope what I witnessed will become the norm, and not just the exception.

A Word From Proverbs

I was doing my daily reading this morning, and I ran across a verse I don't think I have ever seen before. As I pondered this verse, I wondered what it actually means.

A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth;
From the produce of his lips he shall be filled.
Proverbs 18:20

To me it has two meanings; one is practical and has to do with one's business, and the other is spiritual and relates to one's ministry. On the practical side (and this is what I related to first), I think it refers to one's ability to communicate ideas and concepts, and convincing someone to do business with us. Matthew 12:34 says, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. " In order to be able to proficiently communicate to my clients, I need to be constantly sowing understanding and knowledge into myself, believing in my heart that I am giving good advice, and incorporating that belief in my presentation. Because I believe I need to give the best advice (after all, I am dealing with people's investment portfolios), I am constantly reading and studying the markets, investment concepts and tax laws. The "fruit of my mouth", and the "produce of my lips" (my words) are what I have first planted in my heart and mind. The consequence of my sowing (you can't have fruit without first planting the seed) is a well-prepared and planned presentation of an idea or concept to help my client meet his or her objective. It is the sum of my experience, understanding, and preparation. The end result is gaining someone's confidence in the presentation of my idea to implement the plan, and become a client. Hence, I get paid, I can buy groceries, and my stomach is filled.
Spiritually, the same principal applies. As I study God's word, I am able to deliver understanding and revelation through a well-prepared sermon. Presenting a biblical idea, concept or understanding is an awesome responsibility. I must seek God for truth, because in the delivery of that understanding of truth, I am affecting people's lives, hopefully in a positive way, and helping them understand a concept to have a closer walk with the Lord. The end result, then, is satisfaction in a healthy body of believers to meet with, and being filled with the joy of another getting closer in his or her walk with the Lord.

If I was to use that privilege to twist God's Word to manipulate and deceive people, or to build my own kingdom or ministry, then I am ultimately held accountable to a Holy God. I shudder to think that on my judgment day, I will be accountable for every sermon I preached, every concept I taught, or every time I used the bible to admonish or rebuke a brother. Yikes... I know a lot of people use their knowledge of the scripture to support their own agenda. I pray that never be the case with me.

Does anyone else have any view on this passage of scripture? I wonder if my interpretation is really what this verse is conveying. How about it? Any comments?

Yes, I Changed it Again

I changed the look of my site again, but I am not satisfied with what blogger has to offer for templates. I'd like some help in giving my blog a new look. I have some photography and artwork I'd like to use as a background or banner heading, but I am not technically proficient enough to do that. I understand how to cut and paste HTML, and how to find the location of my images, but that's about as far as it goes. Can someone out there help me get a new look I'll be happy with? I'll reciprocate with some good investment advice...

There's a Reason I Don't Go to Movies

Here are the Friday-Sunday (and Friday-Monday) for the top 10 films, based on final studio figures released Tuesday and compiled by Exhibitor Relations:

1. War of the Worlds, $64.9 million ($77.1 million)
2. Batman Begins, $15.6 million ($19.3 million)
3. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, $10.6 million ($12.7 million)
4. Bewitched, $9.2 million ($11.1 million)
5. Herbie: Fully Loaded, $8.8 million ($10.8 million)
6. Madagascar, $5.4 million ($6.7 million)
7. Rebound, $5 million ($6 million)
8. Star Wars: Episode III--Revenge of the Sith, $4.1 million ($5 million)
9. The Longest Yard, $3.3 million ($4 million)
10. The Land of the Dead, $2.7 million ($3.3 million)

We've heard Hollywood complaining about a slowdown in movie ticket sales. Some quick math of the above figures totals $156,000,000 FOR THE FREAKING WEEKEND!!! Not a bad take, and I'm sorry the Hollywood fatcats may not be able to buy the extra 120 lbs. of caviar and may have to scale the party down to $750,000 this week. Sheesh.
Just looking at the top 10 movies, there's nothing there I really want to see... 7 out of the 10 are either remakes or spinoffs /sequels/ part of another story from another movie. I think if Hollywood wants people like me to start going to the movies again, they need to change a few things. Here's some ideas:
1. Make a movie that is ORIGINAL and has a decent story, maybe even some good acting from someone believable. Some serious drama, not just shooting and explosions... I mean, really, can a hot chick like Angelina Jolie really control firearms like that anyway? And who gets shot at that many times and not hit for 2 hours? And who really has that much drama in a lifetime anyway? Hmmmmmm?????
2. Let actors do what they are best at: pretending acting. Put in their contract that if they want to be idiots in the political arena, they should do what the rest of the idiots do: run for office and get elected. Keep their mouths shut or make them pay for political advertising. No one really cares what they think. I don't need to hear a high school dropout, pretty-boy, elitist, moron telling me what to think.
3. If they are going to show remakes and crappy movies, then charge less for the ticket. I mean, really, is that garbage really worth $8-10 to see? Last movie I actually went to a theater to view, there was only about 7 people in there anyway. Maybe if it didn't cost so much, there would be more attending. I would rather have 100 people in a theater that paid me $3 or $4 for a ticket than a dozen who paid $8. (Maybe they need to hire someone to do the math.)
4. What about the price of POPCORN? You are charging me $7.50 for about 25 cents worth of kernels and 5 cents worth of oil. I know you have to pay the midnight-basketball reject young man selling it to me, but I'll bet you'd sell a lot more popcorn if you only charged $2 or $3 for a large bucket and maybe $1 for a soda. Or let us bring our own.
5. Don't allow anyone under 5 to attend a movie intended for an audience of people who can actually read and write. I don't want to hear your kids crying, or you telling them to keep quiet.
6. Don't allow cell phones in the theater, or block the reception. Who the hell is that freaking important that you have to take a call in the middle of a movie? Back before there were cell phones, these inconsiderate morons people got along just fine for a couple of hours without them.
7. Clean the damn theater in between movies. I keep my place of business clean for my clients, and I would expect them to not do business with me if my floor was sticky from spilled soda and had trash all over. What do you pay those pimply-faced kids ushers standing outside for anyway?
8. Make movies I can enjoy with my family. Most of the language and sex in a movie is for effect anyway. I've seen movies on television without all the foul language and gratuitous sex and got the point of the movie just fine. It's not really necessary. Not everybody really talks that way, or think it's a right to fornicate or commit adultery.

Hollywood doesn't get it, they're out of touch with the ordinary people that pay their salaries. I mean, when it comes down to it, they are working for us, right?

Happy Birthday, America

I salute the men and women, past and present, who have served this great nation through its armed forces, government offices, and elected offices. I say, "Happy Birthday, America!" and honor our founding fathers.
The United States of America is indeed the greatest nation on Earth. We may be split down party lines most of the time. There's red states and blue states, but together, we're Americans. Let us never forget we are one nation, under God.
Take time today to thank God for our freedoms, our prosperity, and our rights to pursue whatever we want. My father always told me, "This is America. You can be whoever or whatever you want. If you want to be the President of the United States, you can be. Nothing except yourself and your beliefs will keep you from your dreams. Don't stop dreaming...and dream big." That's what America is all about.
I'm proud to be an American. Not a Mexican-American, a Hispanic-American, or a latino. I am an American, born on U.S. soil; the son, grandson, and great-grandson of U.S. servicemen. I also proudly served my country as a young man.
Don't let the press talk you into believing we are a divided nation. Attack our soil and you will see a nation unite and stand up to fight faster than you can blow yourself up. We may not all agree with each other politically, doctrinally, or spiritually, but if you attack our sacred grounds, it will not be forgotten. We WILL kick your ass. Then we'll rebuild your country with U.S. contractors. So what? We're not perfect, but we are...The GREATEST NATION ON GOD'S EARTH.

Sex

I need to say something, in response to a blog I read. I am a Christian, a conservative, and a member of “the religious right. I have been married for 22 years, and I DON'’T spend energy trying to "“make sure women don'’t have sex." As a Christian, I believe that sex was created by God, and given to us for the fulfillment of a man and a woman in a marriage relationship.
I believe that outside of marriage, sex is risky. Wearing a condom might NOT prevent an STD, and it most certainly will not protect a person emotionally and spiritually.
Consider this (secular) opinion from the CDC website: (http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm)

"The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.

Genital ulcer diseases can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by a latex condom, as well as in areas that are not covered. Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce (not eliminate* my emphasis*) the risk of genital herpes only when the infected area or site of potential exposure is protected. Since a condom may not cover all infected areas, even correct and consistent use of latex condoms cannot guarantee protection from genital herpes.

Persons with herpes should abstain from sexual activity with uninfected partners when lesions or other symptoms of herpes are present. It is important to know that even if a person does not have any symptoms he or she can still infect sex partners. Sex partners of infected persons should be advised that they may become infected. Sex partners can seek testing to determine if they are infected with HSV. A positive HSV-2 blood test most likely indicates a genital herpes infection."”

From my own Christian perspective, sex outside of marriage is harmfull spiritually. Paul wrote to the Corinthians regarding sex outside of marriage. He said that fornication (sex outside of marriage) is a sin against one'’s own body. I don'’t want to get all self-righteous here, but please, hear me out. I write as someone who has been on both sides of this issue, and I speak also from experience.
My sexual relationships before marriage were unfruitful, unfulfilling, and led to dead ends, heartache, and fear. I'’m speaking personally, and I am not judging anyone, or speaking with condemnation. I am speaking for myself here.… I love sex. I'’m glad God created it, and I believe (as do many of my Christian friends) that sex is enjoyable. My greatest pleasure has been in an intimate, whole relationship with my wife. So as far as sex only being for procreation..….NOT... God intended for my wife and I to enjoy each other physically, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.
I think any sane, rational person will agree with this: abstinence WILL prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies. So to counter the claim that condoms are "“the best and only defense against these diseases for the sexually active at this point,"” I must say that there is another more effective defense, and that is abstinence, albeit, not a popular choice for some. But it is 100% effective.
I think some people's view on Christians and Religious Conservatives is narrow and intolerant, precisely the evil they blame us for. Again, I am not trying to be judgmental, I'’m merely pointing out that even a liberal can be narrow minded, and not as "“liberal" in thought as one might want to believe they are. Maybe they'’ve never had this discussion with a rational Christian, and for that, I'’ll apologize for those that make us all look like idiots.
I have an adult daughter that I had hoped would not be sexually active before she got married. I grieved for her when her first child was lost to a miscarriage. I loved her when she came to me again, still single and told me she was pregnant again. I supported her decision to marry the sorry bastard him, and then I took her in when her sperm-donor husband left her alone and penniless to face single-parenthood. For the last 3 years, I have helped support her and her baby, who was concieved even though they used condoms to "“prevent"” her conception. Thank God she chose not to abort. I now have Isabella, the joy of my life, to sit on my lap and make me laugh.
Life has not been easy for my daughter who chose not to heed my teaching, admonition, and advice, but we have made the best of it. Come to think of it, my life as a Christian husband has not been easy because of the relationships I had before marriage. I brought that baggage into my marriage and it was a battle to get to a point of emotional and spiritual intimacy with my wife.
I know all this is a lot to squeeze into a limited forum, or to ask you to totally agree with me. I'm not asking that, I am asking only that you consider that not all Christian conservatives are as narrow as some percieve us to be. I have a reason for believing the things I believe. I respect another's decision to live without condemning their decisions. I can only ask for their respect in return.

Warning, Will Smith, Warning! Greenzap is a Scam!

How can anyone afford to give away free money? Especially in the amounts they are claiming... I'm pretty sure this is a scam, and I hope I can keep a few people from falling for it. They even ask for sensitive information like your bank account, SS number, etc. So I would CAUTION you not to enter sensitive data into Greenzap's website. Here is a link for scam information, Here's another
and another, and another...Seems like if it LOOKS like a duck, SMELLS like a duck, QUACKS like a duck and WALKS like a duck... it's probably...a DUCK!

The Pit

I made a visit to "the Pit" last night, but it was short-lived. I realized I no longer take the "death spiral" down to the pit. I've carved myself a neat little staircase so I can ease my way into it. The good thing about it is, that I can also walk myself out when I get tired of being there. I take this trip of self-condemnation every time I visit. I finally realized I didn't need to be there and went back to bed. This morning I read this:
Psalm 139 7-16, 23-24
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written...

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

God knew me from the womb. He made me; I am His creation, the works of his hands. What do I need to fear, and why do I need to have anxieties?

Dr. Cruise, PhD, MD, DUMB

Tom Cruise criticized NBC "Today" show host Matt Lauer on Friday when Lauer mentioned Cruise's earlier criticism of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants. Cruise told Lauer he didn't know what he was talking about. "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do," Cruise said.
The interview became more heated when Lauer, who said he knew people who had been helped by the attention-deficit disorder drug Ritalin, asked Cruise about the effects of the drug.
"Matt, Matt, you don't even you're glib," Cruise responded. "You don't even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK. That's what I've done." (Really? What are your credentials?)
Well, I've seen a lot about Cruise's interview on some other blogs. What disturbs me about this is the fact that people give clowns like this credence. Who the hell CARES what Tom Cruise thinks about anti-depressants and psychiatry? And what the hell makes him an authority on the subject anyway? I read the script, and pompous Cruise comes off sounding like he's got a PhD or something. This guy doesn't even have a high school education!!! He dropped out of high school in his senior year. So why do we even listen to him?
Tom: get an education. Stick to what you know best....acting. But quit acting like you actually know something. You have no credibility with me.

When is Jesus Going to Appear to ME? I make tortillas all the time too...

The Virgin Mary on a tortilla...on a grilled cheese sandwich...Jesus on a piece of toast, and NOW THIS!
Mold Jesus...

What kills me is that someone actually bought this piece of crap. I think it looks more like John Lennon, personally.
I'm hoping my next batch of tortillas yields Elvis & Jesus on the same tortilla....now that's gonna SELL!

Yeah, I love you...I really do. You're mine, baby.
Posted by Hello

Who is your God?

thordora asked:
"Why do you believe? What do you believe exactly? What was the moment when you "faced/met/found" your God(s)? How does it sustain you today? What does your heaven look like?"
"I'm trying to answer some rather vague and intangible questions about faith that I have had lately, questions I can't quite form yet. I find the question of faith incredibly interesting-half of me would like to get a degree in Theology to understand all this, which to me, is a slipperier slope than most other questions..."

I answered: (I revised my answer a bit in here, adding to it, not deleting anything)
I will simply answer your questions without a lot of background except to say that I was at one time agnostic. I believe that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, is God incarnate (he is fully God and fully man, and was God in the flesh during his 33 years here), and that His life was fulfilled through His crucifixion and death on a cross. I believe He is risen from death and the purpose of His life, death, and resurrection was to reconcile me (make right, balance, reconnect) to God through the forgiveness of my sins. That's a lot to swallow, and impossible to understand or believe, or even grasp outside of a spiritual mindset.

Why do I believe? Because it gives me hope and strength. It is not something I can rationalize because it's totally irrational. The mysteries of God can only be revealed to us by His Spirit, according to scripture. But I do know this...that since March 3, 1985, in a church service in Texas, I have been on a long spiritual journey and allowing God, through Jesus Christ and His Spirit, guide me, lead me and direct me.

Honestly, I've still done stupid things. I still make mistakes. My life is not perfect, nor will I try to convince anyone that the forgiveness and redemption I have experienced will make their life perfect in any way. If anything, my life has been challenged, sometimes to my limits of pain, but I have peace. Pure peace, and it's not anything like what I had before I met Christ.

I write a lot about my struggles in my blog. I hate the way most Christians act. Phoniness is phoniness, even when it's veiled with a spiritual tone. Sometimes I cuss. I lust after things that have no profit to me at all. I have doubts and fears. I drink beer and wine. I am completely human and have issues. Sometimes I completely sabotage myself. In spite of all that, God's love through His Son Jesus, gives me grace, forgiveness, and peace.

I can debate rationally and sanely, as I have a well-above-average intelligence. Don't argue the bible with me because I know it better than most do, but that alone doesn't make me a Christian or spiritual. I knew the bible long before I met Jesus. I'm also opinionated, and I'm willing to entertain your ideas and thoughts without being condescending or calling you names, but I won't argue with you if you're an idiot. I'll simply shut up, and let you prove it to everyone around you. The fear of hell did not bring me to God, and I won't threaten you with eternal damnation to come to Christ. You don't need fire insurance, you need a Father who loves you. I came to God because He loves me. Simple. He loves me, and He loves you too.

God's unconditional love and His gentle hand are what comfort me. That's what sustains me. I don't go to a traditional church, although I was in one for 6 years after my initial "encounter" (Christainese= "got saved"). I have been part of a home church since 1991. I have no idea what heaven looks like. The book of Revelations gives a glimpse, but frankly, the descriptions are too abstract for me, and I really don't see its relevance in my daily walk. Not that I don't care, it just doesn't motivate me to walk out my faith.

Please don't pursue a degree in Theology. It'll just screw your head up. I was in the seminary when I was in college and that's what drove me away from God for 10 years. Believing and trusting God doesn't require a degree or an education. It does, though, require a humble and open heart.

www.rightwingnews.com

I ran across an interesting blog for all my right-wing, SUV-loving, Dittohead, anti-union, richest 1%, get-rich-on-the-little-guy, Bush-hugging, war-loving friends. I picked this from their site.
Posted by Hello

From the Morning

"His parents divorced when he was in the third grade. Mom and dad couldn't get along anymore, so they just split, on many levels. Mom stayed, dad left, and insanity ensued.

He didn't know who did what wrong or what the details were, only that his world had been turned upside down. At any rate, the details didn't matter, only the consequences, paid by an innocent bystander.

It was a horrific time for this frightened young boy, made even worse when he realized that there would be no men in his life."

Read the rest of this story in From the Morning

There are so many men that have been affected on so many levels by a culture of divorce. I remember one of my best friends in high school whose parents divorced. He had to move after his sophomore year, but thank God, we have kept in touch all these years. Divorce back then was still something rare, and I know there was a lot of shame and confusion he faced in the years to come. We both met the Lord about the same time, and we have shared the love of brothers all these years.
My heart breaks for boys whose parents give up, and for men who have remained emotionally stuck as wounded boys in their adulthood. I know there is hope. God provides everything we need for healing and restoration, but men need to be led to Him, and nurtured and encouraged by other men.
Linda and I have been "at the edge" of divorce before. We have entertained the thought through a couple of very rough times in our marriage. We have decided, though, that divorce is not the answer, and it has its own set of new problems. Our marriage has been strengthened by the resolve to push through our selfishness and get to the root of our mess before we give up. We have had to rely on God's grace to get us through, because we know his Word tells us, "My grace is sufficient for you."
Getting to the root is painful. Each person has to give up their rights and put away their selfishness to take a hard look at themselves. It involves a level of humility that can be, well..humiliating, even to shame. Our guilt has to be dealt with carefully so as not to allow shame to overtake us.
Healing comes eventually, if we take care of the wounds. If we just cover up the wound and not deal with it, we become numb to the pain, but the wound is still there. The next time something happens, it's like picking a scab of an infected wound, and all the infection comes out. Until emotional wounds are dealt with, they never quite heal.
I got on a bunny trail, sorry... The story from "From the Morning" made me think about how glad I am for my daughter, our two boys, and our two grandkids that we have decided to work on our "stuff" and stay together. I am thankful for grace.

Interesting Observation

I remember Mother's Day in the blogosphere...so many bloggers posting things about their mom. Other than my own, I didn't see any Dad blogs. Even a Google search of "Father's Day Blog" didn't turn up anything. Wierd. It makes me wonder if anyone else had a close relationship with their dad, or if dads in general are just taken for granted.
We need men like my dad for the young kids of today. We need men who are not afraid to form strong bonds and relationships with their kids so that they are remembered later on. I'm so thankful that I had that example and I can only hope that I am making a similar impact on the lives of those around me, especially our kids and grandkids. Will someone write about me someday? Will my life be worth remembering? I hope so.

Update: 6/21/05 I found one! http://weeklyscheiss.blogspot.com/2005_06_01_weeklyscheiss_archive.html
AND another...thanks, Jimmy www.beinggods.blogspot.com

Happy Father's Day, Dad

These things I remember about my dad:
He taught me how to enjoy life with a good sense of humor
He had the best corny jokes
He was not afraid to be sensitive
He challenged me without pushing me
He was proud of me
He encouraged me to work hard and enjoy the rewards
He let me try new things and mess up on my own, but then he showed me how to get back on track without doing it for me
He taught me not to take things at face value, but to look things up myself if I wanted to know for sure
He took an interest in my schoolwork
He showed me how to use a slide rule (I'm providing a link because someone - a 20-something - I was talking to didn't know what a slide rule was)
He taught me how to reason and had a better way to solve math problems than the way the book was trying to show me
He could do complex calculations in his head
He was at all the band functions and always told me he had a good time
He loved my mom
He loved to bring her flowers
He helped me learn all my knots in Boy Scouts
He showed me how to set up a tent
He showed me how to start a good fire
He took us camping every summer
He cooked a mean brisket
He told each one of us that we were his favorite son/daughter (and he meant it)
He was more concerned about his impact than an impression
He cared about his profession and taught hundreds of men and women professional courses
He took life seriously but he could joke about anything
He had an opinion about everything
He let you know his opinions
He was the only one alive that could beat me in Scrabble (hahaha, Margie, you never will!!!)
He did the hardest crossword puzzles in ink
He taught me it was OK to be smarter than my teachers (well, I WAS)
He always dressed better than anyone else in the room
He had the coolest ties
He wore black silk pajamas after his surgery
He never let on that he was sick
He fought to the end
He died with a smile

I loved my dad, and I miss him deeply. He was my mentor and my friend, and I will always have his impression on my life. He didn't always do everything right (he would argue with me on that) but he did everything the best way he could.
I've recently learned some things about myself because of the close relationship I had with him. I wish he was still here, because there's so much I would still like to ask him. The problem is, I took so much for granted when he was here. Even though I knew for at least 6 months that his condition would lead to his death, I didn't spend near enough time with him to ask everything I needed to. Some things went to the grave with him, and I'll have to figure them out myself.
Happy Father's Day, Dad... I miss you.

Time for Relationships and Community

I have been meeting with a couple of other men, both of whom are looked up to in the church community, but who are also struggling with the weight of sin just like I am. What I have come to find out is that I am indeed quite normal, I am not crazy, and I am not the only one who struggles with sin. I am not the only one who does stupid things. I am not alone. I am thankful for the transparency and non-judgmental openness of these 2 men, who have been willing to encourage me and pray for me.
What I see in these men is that we all struggle with something (whether or not we are individually willing to admit it.) None of us has reached "holiness" or has "Christ likeness" perfected. The book of Romans tells us that "all have sinned," yet there are so many of us that walk around not admitting we are one of the "all."
On the outside we appear "spiritual" and "a good Christian," but on the inside we are dying. As leaders, we are afraid to be open, transparent and vulnerable. TRUTHFUL...that's the word. We are afraid of what others might think, how our ministry might be affected, or that we might cause someone to fall. Wouldn't it be easier if we just told the truth about our spiritual condition, admitted we are sinful, prideful and rotten to the core? Isn't that what the church is for? If we could just come to church with words of encouragement, ready to pray for each other, to "bear each other's burden," not judging, just using our spiritual gifts to "edify the body," wouldn't that be a nice church to come to?
I am angry that church has become a place we come to with our "Sunday smiles," Christian clichés and attitudes. I hate it when I ask someone, "How are you today?" and the response is, "Blessed, brother." HOLD IT!!! Should I ask your WIFE to tell me how you're REALLY doing? Are all your bills paid, is your marriage strong, is your house in good order??? Are you tithing, do you have any "secret sin," are you truly "walking in the Spirit?" Just wondering....because I am hurting, and I don't feel very "blessed," thank you very much. When someone asks me how I am doing, I feel like responding with, "Do you care? Because if you do, let me tell you my struggles." What if I just told you, "I've got a lot of sin in my life I am struggling with. My wife and I have been at the brink of divorce, where the hell were you during the week when I really needed you?"
If church is supposed to be about community and relationships, we are falling short, WAY short, by trying to maintain those relationships in 2 or 3 hours a week on Sunday. There are 168 hours in a week, of which I am sleeping approximately 56 of those hours. So the other 112 hours I have time for relationship building, and those hours are not being spent building relationships with my church family. No wonder we struggle. We have plenty of free time for sin to abound.
The first guy and I started meeting once a week for an hour, just to talk and encourage each other. We committed to being truthful with each other about some rather hard questions we ask each other. We committed to reading the bible daily and hold each other accountable for our bible reading, prayer time and what we devote ourselves to. Well, a second guy joined us, thank God, and once a week was not enough. We have been meeting daily to keep ourselves accountable. We commit to walking out this life as Christians just for 24 hours at a time. What a difference this has made in my walk.
So now I only have about 105 hours a week to entertain sin. Actually, I only have 23 hours a day, since I meet with these 2 guys for an hour a day, less 8 hours for sleep, so give or take, I only have about 15 hours a day to get into trouble. Since I have to work at least 8 hours, that leaves only 7, and that's time I am at home and accountable to Linda. All of a sudden my "trouble time" is getting limited. If I spend an hour reading the bible and praying, now I only have 6 hours to find trouble.
I think maybe I need to find something constructive to do with the spare 42 hours a week I have... I wonder what Linda might suggest?

Maybe I Should Have Said Victim?

I believe in freedom of speech, even stupid speech said out of anger, hurt, or ignorance. My friend, Gregger, who sent me the link to the last post, pointed something out to me that I needed to consider. He said, "I do believe guys like him have been wounded deeply in some way. By a father, authority figure or whatever." You're right, Gregger, even if he is a moron, he probably has a reason for his hatred.
I would agree that there is probably some deep wounds in his past that makes him want such negative attention. It's hard to imagine why someone who enjoys his freedom to say such hurtful things would be angry at those who protect that freedom for him. Usually people like that have anger toward people in their past who have abused them in some way. I hate to judge on looks, but after watching the interview, he reminds me of the kind of person I would have bullied or picked at in school. He reminds of someone I would have liked to hit, trip, or push down the stairs. Not that I spent my time doing that, but I and my friends could be pretty brutal if we had the right victim. I'm not proud of that, and even apologized to someone at my 25th high school reunion for making such an ass of myself in high school.
Back to Michael. He needs prayer. He needs love. He needs a good ass kicking friend to encourage him. I still contend that being a victim is no excuse for stupidity and hatred.

Michael Crook = Michael Moore?

Michael Crook is a moron. Here is a clip of Sean Hannity kicking his ass on FOX. I wonder how idiots like this can rationalize their "freedom of speech" and attack those that protect their freedom to say stupid things that they do. The US Armed Forces may not be the best career choice for everyone, but those who choose to serve choose an honorable and respectful profession. Maybe he doesn't agree with war, military as a career, or what soldiers do, but his "right" to speak out is misdirected. His website, www.forsakethetroops.info, has been taken down. Maybe he figured out he was stupid after all...
I am honored to work with soldiers every day. While not all of them may be of the highest intelligence, and a few have some major issues, they are nevertheless serving their country, and do so willingly. I have the highest regard for those who choose to serve the USA in the military service.
Thanks, Gregger, for sending this to me.

hello? *tap*tap*tap*

whhhhhhh, whhhhhhhhh.... test, test, blog test

uh, is this thing on?

*tap*tap*
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I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

What ticks me of as I re-read yesterday's post is the fact that I, indeed, have been in this place before. It seems to happen every few years, and the cycle continues to perpetuate. Each time, it seems that a little more of me is taken away, and the feeling of despair increases. I'm no newbie to the feeling of hopelessness. Usually it is 100% my fault.
I hate to be so hard on myself, and when I try to talk to those close to me, the reactions are interesting. I wonder how people can't see what I see about myself. My sense of humor and joking keeps most people from knowing the serious side of me, but even those that are closest to me think I am pretty balanced and think I am being too hard on myself.
I have always put up a good front. I have the gift of teaching, and am a relatively good speaker/preacher. I am smart enough to put together a convincing argument for whatever point I am trying to make. No one sees my heart though, and deep inside I know what I am really like.... or what I can be like.
Because of this, I have battled with shame and a low self-esteem. Sometimes I think God doesn't love me, or that I am too far out there for grace. I know that isn't true, but the reality of the feelings and thoughts are still there. I hate it. So I struggle, and with that struggle sometimes comes self-destructive and uncharacteristic behavior. That only causes more guilt and shame, and the death-spiral continues. Before I know it, I am hating myself and everything I am. It's a stretch to imagine that God sent His Son to die for my sins, that He loves me, and forgives me. I find it hard to believe that God has any grace for me at all, and I doubt my salvation.
How can I continue to do the things I do and call myself a Christian? How can I operate as an effective preacher/teacher when my heart is so desperately wicked? The meaning of grace and its effect on my life escapes me. All I want to do is go somewhere that no one knows me and start all over, then run to the next place when it happens again.
I want to be forgiven, I want grace, and I want a fresh start. I want absolution for my sins. I want to be told I am OK, and I am really NOT crazy. I want to know what I face is normal, and that there is hope for healing. I want to know my whole life won't always be this way. I want to know that when I reach the end of my life, I won't look back and think, "Is that all there was?"
And I want to know when that time comes, and my friends and family come to mourn, I will have made a positive impact, beyond what they have seen on the surface. Is this rooted in my lust for acceptance? Do I put too much emphasis on what others think instead of what God says about me? Have I just never accepted the fact that God really does love me and His grace DOES extend to me? And if that's the case, how do I get there? How do I get that into my heart, where I can truly believe that?
Is anyone out there? Can someone give me some insight, please?

The Pain of Growth and Being Reshaped

A while back I started praying, ""Lord, be relentless with me! Please don't give up on me until I'm thoroughly purged from all things that defile or that grieve your Holy Spirit. And don't give in for my crying." Well, God heard me. And the sh** hit the fan. I've had some major trials in the last few weeks. Things from my past have surfaced I thought were long hidden away and would never come up. Things that have hindered my walk for years are becoming a reality, and for the first time in 47 years, I have been forced to make some incredibly painful decisions. I can't run any more. I can't hide, and I have nothing within my control to be able to buy my way out. I'm empty and wholly relying on God's grace.
My walk has been tested to the outer limits. The pain at times has been so bad, I thought I could not live another second. Yet, God, and His grace, have seen me through. Fire is hot. It burns and is painful as it purifies the soul.
Facing my sinful state is just the beginning of this walk. Next I am going to have to allow God to begin the process of healing wounds, setting broken and dislocated joints, and bringing me to completeness. I am scared. I am in agony. I want to run, but there is nowhere to go, and no one to go to. I feel so completely alone, but there is an assurance that I am not alone. There is a hope of completion, a glimpse of a whole person before me.
My feelings, although real and at times excruciating, are secondary to the knowledge that I am in the hands of the Father, being molded and shaped, only to face the kiln again. I am determined to complete the process and come through on the other side, a work of the Master Potter's hand, a vessel worthy of honor and desire.
I have made a decision to stay... to NOT quit... to bear through the trials. I can only pray for God's assurance and peace.

Simple Obedience

"And it shall be that if you earnestly obey My commandments which I command you today, to love the Lord your God and serve Him with all your heart and soul... to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, to hold fast to Him...No man shall be able to stand against you; the Lord your God will put the dread of you and the fear of you upon all the land where you tread, just as He has said to you." Duet 11:13, 22b,25

Recipe for success: follow the above, repent, repeat. Sounds easy, huh? I can easily say that I have not been obedient most of my life, even most of my Christian life. I screw up, I walk the other way, I go back to old habits. I repent, I draw near to God, and then I repeat the cycle.

God's made it simple, the recipe seems simple, why the hell is this so freakin' hard then? I have choices to make every day. That chapter in Deuteronomy continues with the consequences of obedience or disobedience. Again, it's simple: if you obey, you're blessed, if you do not obey, you're cursed. Why is it so easy to choose the latter? We already know what to do. We already understand the consequences. It's simple...yet there's such a battle for our soul, that temptations are made so easily available that disobedience looks good, seems good and feels good.

Making a choice of disobedience most often seems like it would be the path of less resistance, and sometimes it is that way. At least in the beginning it is that way. It soon becomes apparent though, that our choice of disobedience begins to weave a complicated web that entraps us and gets us stuck in places and with things we do not want, or are hard to get rid of. Habits.... feelings... thoughts.... patterns... addictions... pick your favorite. The bottom line is, God makes it simple. We screw it up.

So in this walk with God, I have to deny what has no profit to my soul. I must turn my back on things that only provide temporary and empty promise for the life God intended me to have: one of great promise, blessings, and authority. It just seems so simple.

stressful day

I have such a hard time every time I come to San Antonio. I don't know if it's because I have to leave my house by 5:00 a.m. to get here before the traffic gets horrendous, if it's the 2 1/2 hour drive, or if it's just the general atmosphere when I get here....but something's not right about this trip.
I always feel restless and depressed. In addition, I am feeling like I am wasting my time being here. I could probably take care of this office from back home. On top of all that, since this is a new office, things are just getting started here, so it's a little slow until everything starts to fall into place. I'm in the process of getting letters approved, having brochures printed and getting leads contacted. I just want things to get going.
The one good thing is that I get to see my mom once a week now. She is always glad to see me. But it's hard to deal with all the stuff that comes with being away from home. It's just not the same not being there. Added to that is the stress of knowing there are issues back home and I'm not there to deal with them.
Life is hard, and in 47 years, it hasn't gotten easier. It would be nice if I had a friend here to talk to. Maybe I'm just tired, and a good night's sleep might make a difference. yeeesh...

Morning, Believing, and Trusting

This morning, like the last few mornings, it is cool outside. It's a pleasant low 70's, with a slight breeze. I know the temperature will break 90 again today, so I enjoyed taking advantage of the coolness while drinking my coffee outside on the back porch.
I love the sounds of the morning. It's quieter than the rest of the day, but there's a special sound of the world getting ready. The birds are certainly active. There's the sound of people driving to work, and generally it's a sound of preparation. I love it. It's totally different than the sound of the evening.
Either time, I love being out on the back porch, drinking my coffee in the morning or having a cold drink of something in the evening. But the morning....ah, the morning. It seems like it's the best time to think about things. I have a fresh start, a whole new day in front of me, and I can choose the direction and what I can do with the rest of the day. I can pray. I can listen to what God may be saying to me. I can cry out to Him in desperation, or I can just sit there and listen. Sometimes I just sit there and tell Him what I'm planning for the day. I'm sure it amuses Him at times.
The important thing of it all is that I get to just spend some time alone with Him, before Izzy wakes up, before the phone starts ringing, and before I have to start being busy. There are lots of demands on me during the day, but in the early morning, when I spend time with God, there are no demands. It's just a time of communion and fellowship. Two friends talking. Yes, friends...
God considered Abraham a friend, simply because "he believed God." (James 2:23) Believing God means trusting God, they are the same word. And Moses, in Exodus 33:11, spoke to God "as a man speaks to his friend." Yes, God is a friend, if you would allow Him to be.
For most of us, it's easy to believe IN God, easy to believe there IS a God, but do we dare believe (adhere to, trust in, and rely on,AMP) God? Do were dare consider Him and talk to Him as a friend?

Today, I choose to believe God. I choose to adhere to His precepts, commandments and judgments. I choose to trust Him for my provision, my direction, and my understanding. And I will rely on Him to get me through whatever today will bring.

Yesterday's Big Adventure.

My sister-in-law and her boyfriend were spared their lives yesterday afternoon. We took a trip out in the country to go to a fish fry at my brother-in--law's (my wife's brother) house. I was driving ahead of my sister-in-law's car. Her boyfriend was driving, and probably a little too close to me. I was kicking up a considerable amount of dust, so thick I could not see him in my rear-view mirror. 2 1/2 miles down a gravel road, the road suddenly took a 90 degree turn to the right. I had slowed enough to negotiate the turn, but there was another car that had come out of the turn first, coming toward us, that was also kicking up a lot of dust. Well, as soon as I made that turn, I thought to look in my rear-view mirror and saw boyfriend skidding toward the outside bank and watched their car flip over on its roof. I immediately turned around and as I approached the car was yelling, "Are you guys OK?" I went to the driver's side first, but knew I could not open the door and could not see the boyfriend. My wife was on the phone with 911 as I ran around to the other side of the car where I saw my sister-in-law hanging upside down, still in her seatbelt. I smelled the beer that was in the back seat that had broken when the car flipped. Still no response from them. I ran to my car to get a knife I keep in there for just such an emergency, in case I needed to cut the seat belt. When I got back to their car, sissy was saying she was OK, and boyfriend was crawling around in the back. We were able to open the rear passenger door and get them both out. The car was totaled, but both of them were fine. Neither one of them even had a scratch.
It took DPS 45 minutes to get there, and the wrecker another 30. After 2 hours in 100 degree heat, the drama was over. It was a long trip home last night, since we had to drive them back to Killeen, 30 miles west of where we live, them double back to Temple.
I wonder if they realize what a wake up call they just had. I will have to talk to them about that. They could have easily been going a little faster, and had a more violent flip. They could have easily been killed. To them it was just another thing... the 5th accident they've been involved in this year. I'm beginning to wonder what the hell they're doing.
Life is short. I don't know how many days I have left here on this earth, but a few weeks ago, I felt the Lord whisper to me that very thing...life is short. I need to be living my life as if today is my last day. Death takes some suddenly...like a thief in the night. I'm not scared to die, and I am looking forward to an eternity with Jesus, but frankly, I'm not ready just yet. I'd like to stick around here a while longer. Nevertheless, I need to be ready, today could be my last day.
Pray for me that I can speak softly, but firmly to my sister-in-law and her boyfriend. Pray for me that I can give them the gospel message in a way they will understand and receive it. And pray for me that I will continue to live out this life on purpose.

For What It's Worth...

I took this test...hmmm...ok... The link below has been squirrely...but try it again, I think it's working now. You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 81% Existentialist 63% Postmodernist 63% Fundamentalist 56% Romanticist 38% Idealist 38% Modernist 25% Materialist 25% What is Your World View? (corrected...again) created with QuizFarm.com

Real Live Preacher

I got to meet a real famous person today... the guy that inspired this blog...Real Live Preacher! We had a good, but short, conversation...even so, we squeezed a lot into 45 minutes. I enjoyed the peace and sincerity of it all.
I am still trying to understand how all the pieces fit. Out of the blue one day, I ran across a quote in an email attributed to him. I visited his blog, and the rest is manifested right here, in this blog. And today I actually met him. Funny how all the pieces came together. Maybe someday I'll know why.

A meme from Dave

"Meme" - In casual use, the term meme often refers to any piece of information passed from one mind to another. Meme (pron. meem): A contagious information pattern that replicates by parasitically infecting human minds and altering their behavior, causing them to propagate the pattern. (Term coined by Dawkins, by analogy with "gene".) Individual slogans, catch-phrases, melodies, icons, inventions, and fashions are typical memes. An idea or information pattern is not a meme until it causes someone to replicate it, to repeat it to someone else. All transmitted knowledge is memetic.

1. Total volume of music files on my computer?

pffft.... I don't download music on my computer... that's for young white guys from Delaware and geeks

2. The last CD I bought was?

Bought? Hmmmmm..... probably "Los Lonely Boys" ... I usually have CDs given to me. I picked up several today from a friend...
"Guitarras & Tequilas" Frank Corrales - one of the legendary masters of Tex-Mex music
"Border Spice" Frank Corrales
"Guadalupe, Virgin de Los Indios" San Antonio Vocal Arts Ensemble - 16th century Aztec and Nahua spiritual music, inspired by La Virgen de Guadalupe
"Guitarristas" a mix of Cubano, Spanish, Mexican and Brazillian guitar musica
"ad vielle que pourra" Musaique - a very ecclectic blend of European folk music
"Sephardic Romances" - Ensemble Accentus - Traditional Jewish Music from Spain
"Flamenco Southwest" Ruben Romero


3. Song playing right now:

La Malaguena Salerosa - Frank Corrales

4. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

"How Far is Heaven?" - Los Lonely Boys
"Breathe" - Michael W. Smith
"Bright White" - Shawn Phillips
"Money" Pink Floyd - it's about the message...
"Crucified" - Salvador

5. Which 5 people are you passing this baton to, and why?
No one...I hate forwarding things.
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Me, The Dead Guy, and His Buddies

Sometimes I feel like I have a giant hole in the middle of me that can't be filled with anything, no matter how hard I try. Truth is, I really do... I was feeling particularly empty today, for whatever reason, and the old life started bugging me. You know....the old dead man that lives inside me...the old guy I try to resurrect every time I feel that way.

I drag out the dead guy and say, "Lets find something to do that's exciting!" The dead guy just follows me... No matter what I do or how excited I get, the dead guy just can't get satisfied. He begins to get heavier and heavier as I continue to carry him around. Somewhere along the way, we pick up Shame. The dead guy holds him quite well. Then a little further down the way, we pick up Guilt, who happily comes along for the ride, even adding his own guilt as we go. Not much later, Old Habits pop up. They're familiar company.

Now I remember....some time ago, I put this old dead guy on the altar, but I keep going back to pick him up. What's wrong with me anyway? Before long he always gets too heavy for me to keep carrying around. So today I finally decided I was not going to carry that old, dead rotting flesh with me and decided to take a walk without him and just talk with God. No burden there... in fact, he lifted whatever burden I had, and filled that hole inside. I needed just a little time with Him, to fill that empty space.

I feel much better now.

Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Louis Santoy Tamez - November 23, 1929 - May 15, 2004

Today is the 1st anniversary of my father's passing from this life to the next. A few months before his death, he pulled me, my brother, and my brother-in-law aside, made some confessions, and asked, "How do I make it right with God?" It blew me away. I saw a humble and contrite heart. My response to him was, "You just did, Dad. You have exactly what He wants...a humble spirit." We prayed for him and spoke into his life. We cried. We forgave. It was a moment I will always cherish.

Several more times in the months that followed, he pulled me aside to tell me something he just wanted to get said and off his chest. I believe he "cleared his plate" before he checked out. I believe when he breathed his last breath, he was clean and right with the Lord.

The moment he died, he was surrounded by my mother cradling his head, and me and my 2 brothers and three sisters touching him. We prayed him into glory. He died with a smile on his face and the most peaceful look I have ever seen. I know he is at rest.

It was an honor to do his eulogy. His life was so full and rich, and there was plenty to remember, plenty to speak of. Because he had one of the best senses of humor I have ever known someone to have, it was easy to joke and tell funny stories about him. I know he would have been proud to hear all the funny stories, and might have thrown in a few of his own. I wish he was still here to tell me stories. There was so much he didn't finish sharing that I wish I could have heard.

For such a little guy physically, he sure was a giant mentally, spiritually and morally. He loved my mother to his last breath. He not only told me, he showed it. He taught me about women (what he could) and was always a good example for me. We cleaned his closets after he died. There were no skeletons. He was a man of integrity. I struggle sometimes trying to fill those shoes, but I know if he was here, he would tell me I had my own shoes to fill. I cherish the times I heard him tell me that he was proud of me.

I miss him a lot, but I am comforted with the fact that one day I will see him again. He was, and always will be my father. I am proud to be his son.

Grace: Unmerited Favor

I have struggled with unworthiness and depression due to bad decisions and even worse timing. I have been reading in Ephesians, and the other night, I even thought, "This doesn't apply to me. I'm not worthy and I am beyond grace." But God, in His gentle way, quieted my heart and reminded me that His grace is all I need. He loves me... and He even likes me.
We're human; we make mistakes, miscalculations, and errors in judgment. It doesn't make us any worse, or for that matter, better than anyone else. We just "are." But there is one thing I know that I can always hang onto: it's more important to know "whose" I am. God created me for a purpose.
Sometimes I think I have defined that purpose, but every day reveals something new. I have learned to be content with what I have, even though I never quit striving for more....more wisdom, more understanding, more creativity, more ideas, more whatever.... the secret of contentment though is to be thankful for what I DO have. That in itself is enough. I believe if I can be thankful for just one thing, I'll learn to be thankful for more as it comes my way.
"Becoming a better person" is a process, but to what end? When are we actually "better", and then what are we better than? Again...be content with who you are, whose you are, and what you are. You are God's creation, created for a purpose.
I think this guy needs a little encouragement, so if you've logged on today, to see what I've written, your purpose and mission is to see his blog and respond. Now, GO DO IT!

http://nosuchobligation.blogspot.com/

Today, I am thankful for the ability to connect with people in whose lives I can have an impact. My purpose is to leave a positive impact, not just an impression. My mission is to find just one person to do that with. And today, before I go to sleep, I will learn at least one thing, and I will teach someone at least one thing.

Izzy-isms

Yoyurk...yogurt
Shilup....shutup
Key quiney....be quiet
Push the butt....push the button
I quiney....I'm crying
Macawono cheese....macaroni & cheese
"Therewasaoleladysheswallowed a .... wha-she-swallow????...wha-she-swallow, mommy???"
Sung to "Itsy-bitsy Spider," in the deepest, lowest voice a 3-year old can muster..."GWATE BIG SPI-LAR wen up the walaspout..."
Posted by Hello

If you can't say something nice...

....then don't say anything.

Notes from my Economics professor regarding grades:

Hello:

Results for Quiz 3 and Assignment 3 follow. Not a stellar performance. Your final grade is the simple sum of the 3 quizzes and the minimum grade distributions given earlier. So, it is as follows:
Final Grade=B. Barely

Goodbye.

Sheesh...
So I never cracked the text....shouldn't I at least get a "Good job" ???

Some people you just can't make happy...

Things I Take for Granted, But I'm Really Thankful For...

Here's a few things I thought of...thanks, Anne for getting me thinking!

• fresh ground Columbian Cucaramunga coffee
• electricity (ours was out for 9 hours because of a storm yesterday)
• making a pot of coffee BEFORE the lights went out
• getting served coffee in a real mug at the local coffee joint
• wireless connections
• cell phones with internet capability
• passing Economics with a B without ever opening the textbook
• getting to preach most Sundays
• having a sermon where everyone can participate
• being able to build a birdhouse out of old cedar fence boards
• being able to paint a Mother's Day card for Linda
• habanero sauce
• fresh, hot, homemade tortillas
• Izzy-isms (things my 3 year old granddaughter comes up with...I'll do another post for that)
• lightning and thunder
• beagles
• sunsets
• sunrises
• clouds (the sky is God's canvas, and it changes every day)
• finding the perfect picture frame at a garage sale for 50 cents
• buying a book for $1 at a garage sale and selling it for $20 on Amazon
• rocking Izzy to sleep
• being forgiven when I least deserve it
  
• being able to come up with so many things I'm thankful for

It would be too easy to come up with a list of things that irritate me. In fact, last week, as part of my final English exam, I had 2 hours to write a final persuasive essay from scratch. One of the choices of topics was "The most irritating qualities a man/woman can have." My challenge was keeping it to 3 points and less than 500 words...

Feel free to add your own to this list!

Weeds in the Back Yard

Yesterday Linda and I were in our back yard digging up weeds. This is a difficult thing to do if 1) you're not used to it and 2) you've let them populate for a while. We decided to attack our back yard with the best "Weed and Feed" product we could buy. It killed most of the weaker weedy grass we had back there...but these weeds that are left not only are aggressive, they are hardy too.

The only way to get rid of these weeds is to actually get a spading fork and dig them up by hand. Not only did I have to dig up underneath them, but then we had to get on our knees and actually pull up the root (which had tangled up with the roots of our good grass), and then knock off the clump of dirt that was packed around the roots. It's a tedious and difficult process.

I commented that our front yard looked great, and I was glad we didn't have these in our front yard.... all of a sudden I realized a spiritual truth. Our front yard is what our neighbors see... they never see the back, so for all they know we have a perfect backyard too. Linda commented, "This is where we actually spend our time", (in the back).

Weeds represent sin. If we allow them to grow, they entangle their roots in the fertile soil of our hearts and lives and also with the roots of the good things we have planted. They eventually choke out the good grass and take all the nutrients out of the soil. All of a sudden we find our hearts overtaken by things that are difficult to get rid of.

The "neighbors" (our coworkers, church family, friends, etc.) only see our "front" yard. Few people, except those really close to us, ever see the "back" yard. Most people assume that our lives are fine, because they only get to see what we show them from the "front". They don't see the things we keep hidden...those secret places in our hearts that only we know about.

Repentance is spiritual weed killer. It gets rid of some of the sin in our lives simply because we begin to change the environment (soil) in which we have allowed it to grow. It simply dies. But there is some sin that has aggressively taken hold in our lives. It requires the painful process of digging deep, getting on our knees and untangling the root system from the soil and the good things in our lives. It is also a process of taking care of one at a time, one section at a time. It may take days, weeks, months or even a lifetime of digging and separating.

One other thing I noticed... where the weeds were, there are now holes in our ground. It will take a while to fill the holes and for the grass to grow back. It's unsightly and needs to be tended to. Uprooting sin sometimes leaves a hole that needs to be filled in. We may feel wounded, empty, or ashamed because we're scarred. The good news is, that if we allow God to restore us, He will.

Recently, my daughter brought up something she knew about me that I thought I had kept hidden. It was about something that happened a couple of years ago, and I have since repented. But I never dealt with it and it has been the cause of shame and guilt in my life. Now that it has been exposed, Linda and I have been able to talk about it and deal with it. Hopefully my daughter has forgiven me.

It's time to look in the backyard of your soul. Time to get back there and pull up those weeds we keep hidden. God knows what the back yard looks like... and His grace is sufficient to fill in the wounds and scars that getting rid of the sin will create. While it is a process that may be difficult and painful, it is not an impossible one. It may require help to get rid of the more aggressive stuff... but go for it. The process and work is well worth it.