I've been really cranky lately, and I think I figured out why. It's complicated when all of the dynamics are examined, but to get right to the root of the issue, I can say that it comes down to "performance" issues.
Now I know the root of the problem, and I prayed this morning that God would :
- give me the grace to accept people and myself for who we are, not what we do
- help me use the wisdom to make different choices on how I react to things, and how I perceive things - and to know my perception is not what God sees
- let me have His compassion to love people, especially when they're not "performing" to my expectations
- allow me to live out and exhibit the fruit of the spirit:
that I can LOVE people, not their deeds
that I can have JOY in knowing we are His creation, made for good works in Christ
so I can have PEACE knowing God is God - and I'm not
that I can practice LONGSUFFERING and KINDNESS, and show the love of Christ
that I would practice GOODNESS in my life for His sake
that my manner would be a reflection of Christ's FAITHFULNESS
that the GENTLENESS in me would be warm and inviting to those that are hurting
and that I would practice SELF CONTROL, and keep my feelings from overwhelming my understanding of what God desires for me
- let me operate in mercy, because He's had mercy on me
- show me how to bring light and hope to those around me who are in darkness and despair.
My feelings are just feelings. I'm thankful today that I can make choices based on truth, and not my feelings.
I'm thankful that God's word is relevant to whatever situation I face.
I am thankful for my family, who love me even if I'm a cranky old man sometimes.
I'm thankful that God is helping me understand the difference between perception and reality.
I'm thankful for my church family, who encourage me and pray for me.
I'm thankful that I love my work, because I know it is helping me fulfill my purpose in life - it's not my whole purpose, but a part of living it out, and I am able to help many people.
I'm thankful for a wife that prays for me, prays with me, and loves me enough to hold me accountable.
I'm thankful for brothers in Christ, the men who love God, and are a part of my life; that ask me hard questions, counsel me when I need counsel, and help keep me accountable.
I'm thankful for you reading this blog, and I pray that I can somehow be an influence in your life, that I might encourage you, and bring hope into your life.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Typical House Church
It’s Sunday morning- 10:30 a.m. Typically, we would be having our church service in our living room, but we had “church” Friday night with a group of leaders and other friends. We started the evening with fellowship (Christianese: FOOD),
A pile of kolache
Ellen and Bob usually meet with us Sunday mornings
A pile of kolache
An abundance of donuts
The table discussion
then moved into the living room where we had a time of confession, sharing with each other the different struggles we have as we each walk out this life of faith we proclaim. Sometimes it’s not easy, and we become convicted of the things we preach but don’t act on. Hmm…can Christians be human too?
I’m beginning to understand how much I desire, even need, a relevant church. The act of “going to church” for the sake of attending an event or to get my spiritual feeding has long passed. The time of sitting in a pew and “getting fed” is over too. The Friday night group met all the criteria for church: we met together in Jesus’ name, we broke bread together, we shared our struggles, encouraged each other, and had communion. We listened to each other and prayed for each other. Simple. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?
I made the bread for communion. The bread was made from a mix of wheat flour, tortilla mix, and Ezekeil 4:9 cereal, mixed with a little olive oil and some water, and baked for about 15 minutes. It was something we all could enjoy together, and not only was it healthy, it tasted good too. The grape juice was crushed by the feet of 2 young virgins in our church (just kidding - some guy name Welch made it).
My communion message was that at the last supper, Jesus was doing what he normally did with his disciples – having a meal. And much like any family or even a business dinner, there was discussion going on. I can imagine the 12 sitting around the dinner table with their leader. Some of the discussion may have been light, some may have been serious. No doubt (at least in my mind) there was some time for some laughing. At some point though, Jesus brought up a subject that was relevant. He reviewed the mission, and He gave instruction. He discussed the relevance of bread and wine – His body and blood – and what we were to remember when we broke bread together.
The Friday night before, we met for fellowship and to spend time with Tony and Felicity Dale, authors (Foundations of Simple Church, An Army of Ordinary People) house church leaders, and contributors to house2house.net. Rather than have a traditional meeting where Tony and Felicity might have been “center stage,” we actually all shared our hearts, about our ministries, and our passions for about an hour or so before Tony and Felicity began to facilitate the rest of the meeting. I guess they spoke for about 30 minutes and facilitated the rest of the discussion for the next hour or so. It was great. We had church – and it was relevant.
One caution we seem to get, usually from someone new, or unfamiliar with the way our meetings flow, is that we are in the same danger as the institutional church of becoming traditional. Yeah, it’s happened. We come to service with our 3 lb. bible tucked under our arm, we smile at everyone and exchange the usual, “Howyoudoin’I’mgoodthanks,” then we get our coffee and wait for someone to kick off the meeting. Of course, that always begins with someone being asked to give the opening prayer, and then we have P&W, announcements, the offering, and a message. The church that meets in my home has been careful to move away from that, and instead, we try to facilitate relevant discussion and meet people where they’re at. Much like Friday’s meeting, it flows. People share, we pray for each other, and we are encouraged. Everyone is encouraged to bring their gift to the service. If someone has a word, a song, a scripture, or a message – great! We want to hear what God is doing, where He is moving, and what He wants to speak to us. We allow anyone to speak. And God moves.
Here are some more pictures of a typical service. Although, each meeting is unique, and far from typical.
The youngest participant of the evening gets greeted by my lovely wife
This is ONE CRAZY street preacher - this guy's ministry is going into the bars and hanging out with the prostitutes and pimps on the street - and yeah, people get saved, fed, and some are given a place to stay and get straightened up. Greg had just led someone to Christ that afternoon after having a church service in an oil-change waiting lobby.
Ellen and Bob usually meet with us Sunday mornings
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Why My Mom Was on The News
Mom called me yesterday. With excitement in her voice, she unfolded a real-life drama of a story that happened on her block, just 2 doors down from her house - this actually made national news. She was interviewed by a reporter on the Spanish-language channel.
50 Found in Texas Home... (From Drudge Report)
Mom came home from her shopping and found the block cordoned off, police cars, Border Patrol, and a Homeland Security bus there. It's a fun story to tell, but in her neighborhood - with homes that are in the Monticello Park Historic District of San Antonio - something of this magnitude was happening. And no one suspected anything.
I was writing a friend of mine who grew up with me about it. He remember my house - just 2 blocks from our high school - as a fun place to go after school. Back then all our neighbors knew each other. I remember Tim Skinner lived next door. "The Old Crow," as my Dad used to refer to her, lived on the other side of us. Dr. Richmond, his wife, and his kids, Cliff, Linda, and Louisa lived across the alley behind us. We all knew each other, talked with each other, and played with each other. Today, that's totally different.
The sad part is, it's pretty reflective of the degeneration of our society - neighborhoods are no longer places where neighbors socialize and know each other. They are merely areas of town, where busy people have a place to sleep, watch TV and eat. People are too busy or afraid to get involved - or just don't care enough to get to know their neighbors.
I've made it a point in my neighborhood to know everyone on my block. There are 15 houses on this block, and I went house to house to meet every household. No one has ever knocked on my door just to come meet us or be social - except the Jehovah's Witnesses next door. We get polite waves as people drive by, but for all they know, we could be nice people, terrorists, or manufacturing drugs.
Too bad we've "evolved" to that. How I wish I could just sit and have a beer on my porch with a neighbor once in a while...
50 Found in Texas Home... (From Drudge Report)
Mom came home from her shopping and found the block cordoned off, police cars, Border Patrol, and a Homeland Security bus there. It's a fun story to tell, but in her neighborhood - with homes that are in the Monticello Park Historic District of San Antonio - something of this magnitude was happening. And no one suspected anything.
I was writing a friend of mine who grew up with me about it. He remember my house - just 2 blocks from our high school - as a fun place to go after school. Back then all our neighbors knew each other. I remember Tim Skinner lived next door. "The Old Crow," as my Dad used to refer to her, lived on the other side of us. Dr. Richmond, his wife, and his kids, Cliff, Linda, and Louisa lived across the alley behind us. We all knew each other, talked with each other, and played with each other. Today, that's totally different.
The sad part is, it's pretty reflective of the degeneration of our society - neighborhoods are no longer places where neighbors socialize and know each other. They are merely areas of town, where busy people have a place to sleep, watch TV and eat. People are too busy or afraid to get involved - or just don't care enough to get to know their neighbors.
I've made it a point in my neighborhood to know everyone on my block. There are 15 houses on this block, and I went house to house to meet every household. No one has ever knocked on my door just to come meet us or be social - except the Jehovah's Witnesses next door. We get polite waves as people drive by, but for all they know, we could be nice people, terrorists, or manufacturing drugs.
Too bad we've "evolved" to that. How I wish I could just sit and have a beer on my porch with a neighbor once in a while...
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Who do you say that I am?
Jesus wept. John 11:35.I wish there was a scripture in the New Testament that said, "Jesus laughed until his sides hurt." Surely, hanging around 12 goofy men, at least 6 of whom were sailors, He had occasion to laugh. It may not be recorded in writing, but I can't imagine a man, who was familiar with every emotion we have, that didn't spend a great deal laughing. My image of Jesus is not a stoic, bearded, long-haired man in a white robe who walked around holding His fingers in a peace sign. It's of a man who had compassion, passion, and a heart to know and feel what we feel. Surely, the 12 men He hung around did some pretty crazy crap.
Get 12 or 13 guys around a campfire on a beach, or on the side of a hill, in the woods, or in a house, and I promise, there's going to be some cutting up - even with the Son of God present. Thinking about this begs the questions found in Matthew 19:16:13-15: "“Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?"So they said, "Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets."” He said to them, "“But who do you say that I am?"
Who is Jesus to you? Peter answered, saying, "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God." That image of Jesus was not what was visible to Peter's natural eye. It was revealed to him by the Holy Spirit, as Jesus told him. What the Spirit reveals to us, He reveals to our heart, not our flesh. The image we need to have of Jesus must be an image seen with our heart.
The Old Testament talks about God having fun:
"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."
Does that sound like a stuffy, stoic, sad-faced guy moving slowly flashing a peace sign?
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Who do I look like?
Melissa, over at A Variety of Fine Pickles, had this on her blog. So, for grins, I wanted to see who might be a lucky "look-alike" for my mug. My favorite is Bob Marley - too bad I cut my dreads, maybe I could fool some people. These guys are my look alikes... And they left out Sal Mineo, Sadaam Hussein, and Paul Rodriguez. I'm offended.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Headlines and comments
I actually stopped writing my political blog last year, but every now and then I still like to comment on current events. Drudge Report is one of my favorite places to get news - or to lead me to news outlets. I read a lot of news on the Internet since I don't subscribe to any newspapers. I get a dozen or so trade journals every month, in addition to online subscriptions to several business news sites, but Drudge Report always has the best headlines.Most of the time, I see an interesting headline, click on it, (what the hell) and skim the article to see if it's worth the read. Usually it's not, so I go on to the next one.
Here's some interesting headlines from today:
Blackberry addiction 'similar to drugs'...
"Crackberry" addicts are addicted to the illusion of importance - those little devices are the pocket protectors of the 21st century. Just like those Bluetooth headsets.
Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Washington Town...
I just had to read that one... that's some mean 'coons...
Karr's Mother Tried to Kill Him, Family Friend Says...
Even she didn't like him
Teacher Burns American Flags To Motivate Students...
Yeah - that's motivating me...
Professor Says Liberals Face A 'Fertility Gap'; Not Having 'Enough Children'...
The gene pool is diluted, er, deluded.... well anyway, that's less votes in the future - how long before they eventually become extinct?
Rap music blamed for teen pregnancy...
And all this time I thought it was because they were having unprotected sex....
But my FAVORITE headlines today were:
PARAMOUNT severs ties with Tom Cruise...
Behavior of star 'unacceptable'...
big surprise... now let's axe Barbara Striesand, Charlie Sheen, Alan Alda, Pamela Anderson, Michael Moore, Spike Lee, Jane Fonda, Danny Glover, Susan Sarandon, Ben Affleck, Sean Penn, et. al.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Jon-Benet
Why do we as Americans have an obsessive curiosity for details about things that are intensely private concerning the death of another family’s loved one? The tragic murder of Jon-Benet Ramsey, while shocking and sad, is, frankly, none of my business. I didn’t say “concern, “I said “business.”
My granddaughter is a year younger than she was when she was brutally murdered. Had it happened to my granddaughter instead of Jon-Benet, I would be intensely protective of any news that would be released. The MSM, in a frothed frenzy for sensational news, seem to think they have the right to broadcast personal details concerning her death, her admitted murderer, and her family. And they complain about lawyers and politicians being barracudas and wolves….
I don’t need to hear about this man’s admission of the sickening details of this poor child’s death. It literally turns my stomach when I read headlines of what he supposedly did to a 6 year-old child. If I was her grandfather or father, I would have already flown to
I haven’t and can’t bring myself to read the news articles, when scanning the headlines tells me more than what I want to know. Drudge Report had 6 headlines linking to stories. I went to one of the news articles that had 7 links to related stories, 2 video links, and 3 more related links. I feel even worse for the family because of the invasion of privacy the MSM thinks they have a right to.
OK – all I need to know is that she was murdered, it was sickening what happened, and they caught the guy who admits he did it. Now make sure he gets what he has coming to him. Don’t publicize it – I don’t need to know all the details. Just tell me when he’s executed so I can pray her family has peace.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Interesting
Out of 2509 blogs on the "Christian Top 1000," mine is the only one with the word "Beer" in the title.What gives?
Weird Stuff That Brings People In
It always amazes me some of the search keywords that bring people into my blog. Most of which I never actually write about, but happen to have the keywords in the text. These are the last 10 keyword searches:
Hmm…
Here are the weird ones though:
bible chicano glory (Google)
(I had a pastor that used to call me the “Chicano glory”)
chihuahua dingo (Google)
(What the h……???? What exactly are they looking for? Is there really such an animal?)
"my daughter's panties" (Google)
(Sick bastard…I hope you at least learned something when you dropped in.)
barrio bebe lowrider (Yahoo)
(Imagine that…)
And probably the one that’s the weirdest…
flyers Bible Study liberal (Google)
(I have NO freakin’ idea…)
- bible study for boys on fear courage (Google)
- "become an investment advisor" and cpa (Google)
- bible study hard heart (Google)
- FISHERS OF men artwork (Yahoo)
- Bible Study on being refreshed (Google)
- seinfeld bible study (Yahoo)
- barbeque for 40 people (Google)
- five fold ministry in tucson (Google)
- 20 something mens bible study (Google)
- Cool Men's Bible Study Cards (Yahoo)
Hmm…
Here are the weird ones though:
bible chicano glory (Google)
(I had a pastor that used to call me the “Chicano glory”)
chihuahua dingo (Google)
(What the h……???? What exactly are they looking for? Is there really such an animal?)
"my daughter's panties" (Google)
(Sick bastard…I hope you at least learned something when you dropped in.)
barrio bebe lowrider (Yahoo)
(Imagine that…)
And probably the one that’s the weirdest…
flyers Bible Study liberal (Google)
(I have NO freakin’ idea…)
Friday, August 04, 2006
What level of faith do we need?
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."Matthew 17:20
I'm of the opinion that it is not GREAT faith that moves mountains - at least not OUR great faith...Rather, God's great faith.
I was thinking this morning that when it comes to faith, my role is to simply believe that God can do something, and then watch Him do it. My faith is in what God can do and it doesn't matter how much I can't do. (OK, a bunch of analyticals just blew a gasket on that one.) What I mean is, if my level of faith is based on what I know is possible for God, then all I have to do is believe He can and will do it and He will act according to what His will is. I don't always know His plan, but I do know this:
“ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater"
Isaiah 55:8-10
My fears, uncertainties, and insecurities, although real emotions, are second to the truth. God has my best in mind.
I'm of the opinion that it is not GREAT faith that moves mountains - at least not OUR great faith...Rather, God's great faith.
I was thinking this morning that when it comes to faith, my role is to simply believe that God can do something, and then watch Him do it. My faith is in what God can do and it doesn't matter how much I can't do. (OK, a bunch of analyticals just blew a gasket on that one.) What I mean is, if my level of faith is based on what I know is possible for God, then all I have to do is believe He can and will do it and He will act according to what His will is. I don't always know His plan, but I do know this:
“ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater"
Isaiah 55:8-10
My fears, uncertainties, and insecurities, although real emotions, are second to the truth. God has my best in mind.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Stuff Happens
And when it does, we just have to go through it.
We can't control what's not in our control. We can't force life to do what we want all the time.
Life is not perfect.
We just have to do like we always have, and trust God that He'll get us through.
And He does.
Because we really don't have control.
We can't control what's not in our control. We can't force life to do what we want all the time.
Life is not perfect.
We just have to do like we always have, and trust God that He'll get us through.
And He does.
Because we really don't have control.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
I'm Thankful for...
- God's providence and protection over our son and grandson who were in a serious auto accident this past Saturday.
- That the injuries, although serious, were not life-threatening
- The surgeons who operated on our son in three places, who are skilled and did their best to repair a lot of damage.
- That there was no other damage; internally, or to the brain
- Three successful surgeries that went extremely well
- That our grandson, even though he sustained two fractures- his hip and his ankle- got up from bed on his own today and was released
- Our friends, Bob and Ellen, who came to the hospital Saturday and took us to dinner. That was some real ministry that met a practical need
- All those who prayed
- All those who came to see the boys in the ER and again today
- God's grace to heal some emotional and spiritual hurts in my relationship with my son
- Words that were spoken in love
- my wife, who is such a trooper....
"He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone." Psalm 91, 11-12
Monday, July 24, 2006
Things I wonder about
Why do people think they look cool with one of those Bluetooth things in their ear?Why do I want to flick that little Bluetooth thingy every time I see one?
Why do people who aren’t all that important think they have to carry on a cell phone conversation- loudly - in public- and that somehow makes them look important?
I wish I had a device to electronically disable the cell phone of someone who is rudely and boorishly carrying on a conversation in front of me, holding up the line, when they should be focused instead on what they’re doing and not hold up the line.
Why do people with ghetto-bass in their car think I want to hear it too?
I wish I had a remote device that would turn up the bass on someone’s already-too-loud car speakers so loud, that it would permanently fry their system.
Why do people with a little fish decal on the back of their car drive like hell?
Why do people drive slow in the left lane on the highway when every ¼ mile there is a sign that says “Left Lane for Passing Only?”
I wish I had one of those lighted marquis signs in my back windshield so I could send messages to those people.
Why do liberals have long toes?
Why do 40 year old men think a goatee looks cool on them?
Why are there always huge people driving little bitty cars?
Why do people on a diet eat cottage cheese? I only see fat people eating it.
Why can a skinny guy eat two triple bacon cheeseburgers, large fries, and a 44 oz chocolate shake for lunch 4 times a week?
And eat Ding-Dongs and drink Dr. Pepper all day?
And never gain weight?
Why do homeless people always have money for cigarettes?
Why do women with large rears wear stretch pants?
Why is Dr. Z and Taylor Hicks on every 3rd commercial? I think we got it...
Am I the only one who thinks Taylor Hicks dances like Elaine Bennis on "Seinfeld?"
Saturday, July 15, 2006
And I was getting so close to the end...
Just as I thought I was getting to the end of the Internet (yes, I was getting very close - I only had a few more webpages to read...), the smarty cats at RIPE develop IPv6 and add another
That's 340 undecillion, 282 decillion, 366 nonillion, 920 octillion, 938 septillion, for you numerophobes out there. Seems like 4 billion just wasn't quite enough, seeing as there's 6 billion global neighbors, and what's going to happen when all those third world countries get online?
To put it in something we might be able to imagine, here's a perspective on what a billion might be. I once saw $1million in $20 bills. It was a stack roughly 3 feet high, and about 4' x 4'. A billion $ would be 1000 of those. And those were $20 bills... I can't imagine $1 bills....
1 million seconds was 11.5 days ago
1 billion seconds ago was the year 1975
1 million minutes was 1.9 years ago
1 billion minutes ago was the year 104 AD
1 million days ago was 733 BC
1 billion days was 2,739,726 years ago
A billion is hard to imagine...Even less, I can't imagine a undecillion, or how much space that will create on the World Wide Web.
Surely there's a spiritual lesson in that - maybe relate it to the infiniteness of God... I remember doing a study once on the vastness of the known universe - and that blew my mind. Our Sun is 92,955,820 miles away. And our sun is close...comparatively. Just in the known universe, travelling at the speed of light, 186,282.397 miles per second, it would take between 46 and 78 billion years to reach the edges of what we know to be the universe. OK, I'll stop... As I was excitedly relaying this to my wife last night at around 11:00 p.m., her comment to me was, "You're a nerd!"
So if that makes you feel small and insignificant, think about this - In all of the heavens, God created this little speck of cosmic dust we live on, then created man in His own image to populate the Earth. Considering the scope of the heavens, and all that was created, after man sinned, God could have just flicked that little dust particle out of space and started all over. Yet, He sent His only begotten Son to forgive His creation, man, so that we could live forever with Him in eternity.
That really blows my mind.
340,282,366,920,938,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 new web addresses .
That's 340 undecillion, 282 decillion, 366 nonillion, 920 octillion, 938 septillion, for you numerophobes out there. Seems like 4 billion just wasn't quite enough, seeing as there's 6 billion global neighbors, and what's going to happen when all those third world countries get online?
To put it in something we might be able to imagine, here's a perspective on what a billion might be. I once saw $1million in $20 bills. It was a stack roughly 3 feet high, and about 4' x 4'. A billion $ would be 1000 of those. And those were $20 bills... I can't imagine $1 bills....
1 million seconds was 11.5 days ago
1 billion seconds ago was the year 1975
1 million minutes was 1.9 years ago
1 billion minutes ago was the year 104 AD
1 million days ago was 733 BC
1 billion days was 2,739,726 years ago
A billion is hard to imagine...Even less, I can't imagine a undecillion, or how much space that will create on the World Wide Web.
Surely there's a spiritual lesson in that - maybe relate it to the infiniteness of God... I remember doing a study once on the vastness of the known universe - and that blew my mind. Our Sun is 92,955,820 miles away. And our sun is close...comparatively. Just in the known universe, travelling at the speed of light, 186,282.397 miles per second, it would take between 46 and 78 billion years to reach the edges of what we know to be the universe. OK, I'll stop... As I was excitedly relaying this to my wife last night at around 11:00 p.m., her comment to me was, "You're a nerd!"
That really blows my mind.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Some House Church Pictures
Last week we had about 40 people in our house for church. Someone asked me prior to church that morning, "How are you going to fit all those people in your house?" "One at a time," I replied.
They all fit.
Last week the church from Killeen came to meet with us. While it is always nice to have a larger group, the worship time, and a good message to hear, I enjoy the close fellowship of a smaller group.This week we only had 8 attend, including 2 kids. The smaller the group, the more intimate the fellowship, and the more each one gets to share.
Here are some pictures of the larger meeting last week.
Roman & Tanya and Becky lead worship
Worship time
Sharing time
Jim, Sheridan, and Bobby
Pastor Phillip preaching
I will post more pics soon at the Association of Home Churches website.
I want to invite you to come Sunday morning and take part in our service. Today we all shared about God meeting us where we are. I shared the previous post with everyone and we discussed Ephesians 1: 6-12, and Eph. 4: 7, 11-17. We believe the "five-fold" gifts of Eph 4:11 are present within the body of believers, not just in one person, i.e, "The Pastor." God gives each one of us a unique gift, in order that we can use it to encourage each other, thereby equipping each other for the work of the ministry (encouraging those that need hope), and strengthening the body so that growth can occur. If you need help, encouragement, prayer, or want to offer some, please consider joining us Sunday mornings. But don't wait until then - call me or write me during the week. After all, it's really about developing relationships through Christ with each other. That's what church is about - so that we see God meet us where we are.
They all fit.
Last week the church from Killeen came to meet with us. While it is always nice to have a larger group, the worship time, and a good message to hear, I enjoy the close fellowship of a smaller group.This week we only had 8 attend, including 2 kids. The smaller the group, the more intimate the fellowship, and the more each one gets to share.
Here are some pictures of the larger meeting last week.
Roman & Tanya and Becky lead worship
Worship time
Sharing time
Jim, Sheridan, and Bobby
Pastor Phillip preaching
I will post more pics soon at the Association of Home Churches website.
I want to invite you to come Sunday morning and take part in our service. Today we all shared about God meeting us where we are. I shared the previous post with everyone and we discussed Ephesians 1: 6-12, and Eph. 4: 7, 11-17. We believe the "five-fold" gifts of Eph 4:11 are present within the body of believers, not just in one person, i.e, "The Pastor." God gives each one of us a unique gift, in order that we can use it to encourage each other, thereby equipping each other for the work of the ministry (encouraging those that need hope), and strengthening the body so that growth can occur. If you need help, encouragement, prayer, or want to offer some, please consider joining us Sunday mornings. But don't wait until then - call me or write me during the week. After all, it's really about developing relationships through Christ with each other. That's what church is about - so that we see God meet us where we are.
Where are you Spiritually?
Did you know that God wants to meet you right now? Right where you are- He'll meet you no matter what you're state of readiness or spiritual condition is. We don't have to do anything to recieve His grace except open our hearts to accept it. God is always ready to hear your prayer, and to respond. We can never make ourselves good enough, worthy enough, or ready enough for His grace. It's just GRACE - unmerited favor - that we recieve from Him. He is the one who is always ready, and He waits for us to open our hearts and give Him the opportunity to spend a moment with us. Yes, He loves us that much, no matter what we've done, where we've been, or why we haven't opened ourselves to Him before.
The 1st chapter of the letter to the Ephesian church tells us He chose us first - predestined us to become His sons and daughters. That's good news. Not just that, but the bible goes on to say that
- He made us accepted in the Beloved.
- He has reclaimed us by paying the debt of the weight of our sins by sending Jesus Christ as the sacrifice for us
- He forgave our sins, even though we don't deserve forgiveness, it is by His goodness
- He makes known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure
- when it's all over, He'll gather us all together with Christ
- We have that inheritance, which He predestined us with
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Kansas Bob
Kansas Bob is a frequent commentor on here. He also gets the prize for being my 5000th hit on this blog! You win, Kansas Bob! You get the big prize!
You win a free link to your blog and a lifetime membership to read this blog anytime you want!
Ya'll check out Kansas Bob at his blog,
Thanks, KB!
You win a free link to your blog and a lifetime membership to read this blog anytime you want!
Ya'll check out Kansas Bob at his blog,
An Eye For Redemption
Drop in on him and read his insightful blog, and give him a big HOWDY from this site.Thanks, KB!
Friday, June 30, 2006
Faith, Courage, and Opportunity
1 After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, it came to pass that the LORD spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying: 2 “Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel. 3 Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses. 4 From the wilderness and this Lebanon as far as the great river, the River Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, and to the Great Sea toward the going down of the sun, shall be your territory. 5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:1-9 (NKJV)
I was thinking this morning about opportunity. How many times do we have opportunity, and we fail to seize it? How many times do we see opportunity, and we think it's too much, and we fear, because it overwhelms us? Or how many times do we simply miss opportunity because we are out of position, not prepared, out of shape, or anemic?
I have had missed opportunities all my life, for all of the above reasons. All of a sudden though, here I am, almost 49 years of age, and God continues to lay opportunity before me. And all of a sudden, I realize my whole life has been a preparation for this moment. The book of Joshua opens with Israel, which had been in the desert for 40 years, at the doorstep of Canaan, the promised land. I'm not sure how old Joshua was - perhaps he was near my age, perhaps a little older. Nevertheless, God had prepared him for this very moment, as he had been in training as Moses' successor for many years. He was no longer the understudy or the assistant; he was now the leader.
I realize I am now in a similar position. I no longer have a manager or a leader, and I am now at the doorstep of my promised land. And there are giants in the land, and the people are strong - the cities are fortified and very large. The clusters of grapes are so large it takes two people to carry them. But I see a land I am able to take - one that is "exceedingly good" (Num 14:7), and one that the Lord will give me.
I find it interesting that the charge and promise God gave to Joshua, "Go...be strong and courageous... I will be with you...I will not leave you nor forsake you...," was given because God knew Joshua had already seen, and had previously declared, "...do not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread.. the Lord is with us. Do not fear them." (Num 14:9) Joshua already had faith; not in himself, but in the Lord. He was prepared - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. He was not intimidated by the size of the opportunity, the people, or the land. And he was not discouraged by everyone else's whining.
God honors faith - even more so, His faith meets ours and increases it exponetially. He allows us to do things others deemed impossible. He lets us see what everyone else declares too big, too overwhelming, or too strong, and declare it "exceedingly good."
Friends, I've made a decision - a choice - to declare the land in front of me as "exceedingly good," and I will not fear what others have reported before me. I will not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are my bread; their protection has departed from them, and the Lord is with me. I will not fear them.
Is there an opportunity before you right now? I can assure you, right now, you have either just missed an opportunity, or you are at the doorstep of one, or you are in the land, seizing the opportunity. I would encourage you, do not fear; the Lord is with you. Lay hold of that opportunity and enjoy what God has for you.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
I was thinking this morning about opportunity. How many times do we have opportunity, and we fail to seize it? How many times do we see opportunity, and we think it's too much, and we fear, because it overwhelms us? Or how many times do we simply miss opportunity because we are out of position, not prepared, out of shape, or anemic?
I have had missed opportunities all my life, for all of the above reasons. All of a sudden though, here I am, almost 49 years of age, and God continues to lay opportunity before me. And all of a sudden, I realize my whole life has been a preparation for this moment. The book of Joshua opens with Israel, which had been in the desert for 40 years, at the doorstep of Canaan, the promised land. I'm not sure how old Joshua was - perhaps he was near my age, perhaps a little older. Nevertheless, God had prepared him for this very moment, as he had been in training as Moses' successor for many years. He was no longer the understudy or the assistant; he was now the leader.
I realize I am now in a similar position. I no longer have a manager or a leader, and I am now at the doorstep of my promised land. And there are giants in the land, and the people are strong - the cities are fortified and very large. The clusters of grapes are so large it takes two people to carry them. But I see a land I am able to take - one that is "exceedingly good" (Num 14:7), and one that the Lord will give me.
I find it interesting that the charge and promise God gave to Joshua, "Go...be strong and courageous... I will be with you...I will not leave you nor forsake you...," was given because God knew Joshua had already seen, and had previously declared, "...do not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread.. the Lord is with us. Do not fear them." (Num 14:9) Joshua already had faith; not in himself, but in the Lord. He was prepared - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. He was not intimidated by the size of the opportunity, the people, or the land. And he was not discouraged by everyone else's whining.
God honors faith - even more so, His faith meets ours and increases it exponetially. He allows us to do things others deemed impossible. He lets us see what everyone else declares too big, too overwhelming, or too strong, and declare it "exceedingly good."
Friends, I've made a decision - a choice - to declare the land in front of me as "exceedingly good," and I will not fear what others have reported before me. I will not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are my bread; their protection has departed from them, and the Lord is with me. I will not fear them.
Is there an opportunity before you right now? I can assure you, right now, you have either just missed an opportunity, or you are at the doorstep of one, or you are in the land, seizing the opportunity. I would encourage you, do not fear; the Lord is with you. Lay hold of that opportunity and enjoy what God has for you.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Conquering Fear and the Performance Trap
About a month or so ago, I had a revelation that was life-changing. This revelation came about as the product of about a 3 year bad mood. When I learned my father had terminal cancer, I started hating everyone and everything. I began to cut people off, and distance myself from friends, family, and anyone who I was remotely close to. I became a loner, and I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.
This was hard to do, considering the fact that I worked in the public, was a member of several community committees, and ministered at church. Outwardly, I maintained a façade, but inwardly, I was totally separated; detached from my surroundings. Anytime I was around people, I could hardly wait to get away from them, and I cherished moments when I was totally alone - not having to talk to anyone, or deal with personalities, issues, or anything of substance.
For the most part, I was nice, continued to smile and function in a “normal” manner. People had no clue what was brewing inside of me. Even those I am somewhat close to had, at best, only a vague idea of my condition, and probably attributed my sudden seriousness to my having to deal with a sick parent. Even now, if I mention this mood to someone who was around me during that time, they would look at me like I was nuts, because no one knew.
My change actually began sometime around February, when I left my last firm. I met a man on the racquetball court, John Garcia, who asked me, “So what do you do?” Rather than the standard reply of, I’m a stockbroker,” I took my time to think about what it is that I really do. It was a challenge to me, but freeing to tell someone that I help people grow their assets, save on taxes, and maximize their retirement incomes. For once in my life, I understood I was more than just a stock order taker….more than just a mutual fund sale person… more than just a financial planner. His reply to me was, “That’s fantastic! We need more people like that!”
I found out he is a motivational speaker, an author, a cancer survivor, and a Christian. I made an immediate connection with John, and that day, I knew my life had changed. I woke up the next morning and decided I was not going to be in a bad mood any more. Three years was long enough.
As I opened myself up to the scary prospect of enjoying my life again, I also began to pray in a different direction. I began to ask the Lord for peace. I began to ask him to change me, and get me out of the trap I had been in for so long. I actually realized the direction I had taken and the path I was on was leading me nowhere. I also saw that I had been in a pattern of self-destruction by isolating myself, and that was not healthy.
Not long after that, I met another person who helped me see even more. Here’s the part about the revelation – I made an appointment with a Life Coach, Bobby, who writes at Kingdom Life Coaching Resources. (Well worth reading this blog daily…) We met one morning at my kitchen table, over a couple of pots of coffee. As we spoke, he asked me some direct questions about faith and fear. I realized all of my life had been motivated by fear: fear of performing well enough to make myself look good – for my father, my teachers, my bosses, my wife, my kids, my church…yada yada yada… I came to the understanding that all of my 48 years I had struggled with the fear of someone finding out that maybe I really wasn’t who I appeared to be. Since things came so easily to me, I always felt like I was “lucky” or cut corners – and if people really knew who I was, or what I had done to get there – that they wouldn’t like me, or they would think less of me.
There is a scripture that says, “We are God’s workmanship, created for good works in Christ.” Back in 60’s and 70’s, in the era of “Jesus Freaks,” there was a saying that went, “God didn’t make junk.” We are created by a perfect God, who endowed us with purpose, power, and provision. We don’t need to perform. All we need to do is “BE.”
One of the good things that came out of my “funk” is that I discovered I have a purpose. It is multi-faceted, but amazingly simple. God created me to GIVE –whether it be through my writing, my painting, my sculpture, my mechanical ability, or my knowledge of financial planning, He created me to give.
He also created me to LOVE. I realized (this all happened that one morning, inside of 2 hours over 2 pots of coffee) the reason I didn’t like people all my life is because I didn’t really like myself. I was disappointed in myself, and perpetuated a cycle of self-destructive behavior and habits that just created shame and guilt. I lived with the fear of “being outed.” So I kept people at a distance, justifying it with a self-righteous and critical attitude. Once I accepted the fact that Jesus loves me just where I am, I began to pray for compassion. And God healed my hard heart, allowed me to have a heart of compassion, and set me free.
Finally, He created me to fulfill my purpose. Not through PERFORMANCE, as I had tried in the past, but through FAITH in the knowledge that Christ put everything in me to fulfill that purpose, and He gives me the power to make it happen. Also, when I operate in FAITH, I no longer have to FEAR, because God loves me, no matter what.
For the first time in 48 years, I actually LIKE people – even more so, I LOVE people, and am willing to listen to them, because that’s who God made me to be.
This was hard to do, considering the fact that I worked in the public, was a member of several community committees, and ministered at church. Outwardly, I maintained a façade, but inwardly, I was totally separated; detached from my surroundings. Anytime I was around people, I could hardly wait to get away from them, and I cherished moments when I was totally alone - not having to talk to anyone, or deal with personalities, issues, or anything of substance.
For the most part, I was nice, continued to smile and function in a “normal” manner. People had no clue what was brewing inside of me. Even those I am somewhat close to had, at best, only a vague idea of my condition, and probably attributed my sudden seriousness to my having to deal with a sick parent. Even now, if I mention this mood to someone who was around me during that time, they would look at me like I was nuts, because no one knew.
My change actually began sometime around February, when I left my last firm. I met a man on the racquetball court, John Garcia, who asked me, “So what do you do?” Rather than the standard reply of, I’m a stockbroker,” I took my time to think about what it is that I really do. It was a challenge to me, but freeing to tell someone that I help people grow their assets, save on taxes, and maximize their retirement incomes. For once in my life, I understood I was more than just a stock order taker….more than just a mutual fund sale person… more than just a financial planner. His reply to me was, “That’s fantastic! We need more people like that!”
I found out he is a motivational speaker, an author, a cancer survivor, and a Christian. I made an immediate connection with John, and that day, I knew my life had changed. I woke up the next morning and decided I was not going to be in a bad mood any more. Three years was long enough.
As I opened myself up to the scary prospect of enjoying my life again, I also began to pray in a different direction. I began to ask the Lord for peace. I began to ask him to change me, and get me out of the trap I had been in for so long. I actually realized the direction I had taken and the path I was on was leading me nowhere. I also saw that I had been in a pattern of self-destruction by isolating myself, and that was not healthy.
Not long after that, I met another person who helped me see even more. Here’s the part about the revelation – I made an appointment with a Life Coach, Bobby, who writes at Kingdom Life Coaching Resources. (Well worth reading this blog daily…) We met one morning at my kitchen table, over a couple of pots of coffee. As we spoke, he asked me some direct questions about faith and fear. I realized all of my life had been motivated by fear: fear of performing well enough to make myself look good – for my father, my teachers, my bosses, my wife, my kids, my church…yada yada yada… I came to the understanding that all of my 48 years I had struggled with the fear of someone finding out that maybe I really wasn’t who I appeared to be. Since things came so easily to me, I always felt like I was “lucky” or cut corners – and if people really knew who I was, or what I had done to get there – that they wouldn’t like me, or they would think less of me.
There is a scripture that says, “We are God’s workmanship, created for good works in Christ.” Back in 60’s and 70’s, in the era of “Jesus Freaks,” there was a saying that went, “God didn’t make junk.” We are created by a perfect God, who endowed us with purpose, power, and provision. We don’t need to perform. All we need to do is “BE.”
One of the good things that came out of my “funk” is that I discovered I have a purpose. It is multi-faceted, but amazingly simple. God created me to GIVE –whether it be through my writing, my painting, my sculpture, my mechanical ability, or my knowledge of financial planning, He created me to give.
He also created me to LOVE. I realized (this all happened that one morning, inside of 2 hours over 2 pots of coffee) the reason I didn’t like people all my life is because I didn’t really like myself. I was disappointed in myself, and perpetuated a cycle of self-destructive behavior and habits that just created shame and guilt. I lived with the fear of “being outed.” So I kept people at a distance, justifying it with a self-righteous and critical attitude. Once I accepted the fact that Jesus loves me just where I am, I began to pray for compassion. And God healed my hard heart, allowed me to have a heart of compassion, and set me free.
Finally, He created me to fulfill my purpose. Not through PERFORMANCE, as I had tried in the past, but through FAITH in the knowledge that Christ put everything in me to fulfill that purpose, and He gives me the power to make it happen. Also, when I operate in FAITH, I no longer have to FEAR, because God loves me, no matter what.
For the first time in 48 years, I actually LIKE people – even more so, I LOVE people, and am willing to listen to them, because that’s who God made me to be.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Happy Father's Day - reposted
REPOSTED
These things I remember about my dad:
He taught me how to enjoy life with a good sense of humor
He had the best corny jokes
He was not afraid to be sensitive
He challenged me without pushing me
He was proud of me
He encouraged me to work hard and enjoy the rewards
He let me try new things and mess up on my own, but then he showed me how to get back on track without doing it for me
He taught me not to take things at face value, but to look things up myself if I wanted to know for sure
He took an interest in my schoolwork
He showed me how to use a slide rule (I'm providing a link because someone - a 20-something - I was talking to didn't know what a slide rule was)
He taught me how to reason and had a better way to solve math problems than the way the book was trying to show me
He could do complex calculations in his head
He was at all the band functions and always told me he had a good time
He loved my mom
He loved to bring her flowers
He helped me learn all my knots in Boy Scouts
He showed me how to set up a tent
He showed me how to start a good fire
He took us camping every summer
He cooked a mean brisket
He told each one of us that we were his favorite son/daughter (and he meant it)
He was more concerned about his impact than an impression
He cared about his profession and taught hundreds of men and women professional courses
He took life seriously but he could joke about anything
He had an opinion about everything
He let you know his opinions
He was the only one alive that could beat me in Scrabble (hahaha, Margie, you never will!!!)
He did the hardest crossword puzzles in ink
He taught me it was OK to be smarter than my teachers (well, I WAS)
He always dressed better than anyone else in the room
He had the coolest ties
He wore black silk pajamas after his surgery
He never let on that he was sick
He fought to the end
He died with a smile
I loved my dad, and I miss him deeply. He was my mentor and my friend, and I will always have his impression on my life. He didn't always do everything right (he would argue with me on that) but he did everything the best way he could.
I've recently learned some things about myself because of the close relationship I had with him. I wish he was still here, because there's so much I would still like to ask him. The problem is, I took so much for granted when he was here. Even though I knew for at least 6 months that his condition would lead to his death, I didn't spend near enough time with him to ask everything I needed to. Some things went to the grave with him, and I'll have to figure them out myself.
Happy Father's Day, Dad... I miss you.
Update: 2006 - Another year has passed since my dad left to be with the Lord. ALthough I still miss him, the pain of his death has been easier to bear. I've grown in these last 2 years, and I realize how precious and short this life is. I am understanding how important it is to have strong relationships with other men who can encourage me, bless me, and keep me accountable. And I am relying more and more upon the voice of my Father, God to lead me through this life. I thank God for the relationship I had with my dad while he was alive, but even more for the relationship we both have with Him. Happy Father's Day to you dads out there - Kansas Bob, Matt, Bobby - and all you guys that encourage me.
These things I remember about my dad:
He taught me how to enjoy life with a good sense of humor
He had the best corny jokes
He was not afraid to be sensitive
He challenged me without pushing me
He was proud of me
He encouraged me to work hard and enjoy the rewards
He let me try new things and mess up on my own, but then he showed me how to get back on track without doing it for me
He taught me not to take things at face value, but to look things up myself if I wanted to know for sure
He took an interest in my schoolwork
He showed me how to use a slide rule (I'm providing a link because someone - a 20-something - I was talking to didn't know what a slide rule was)
He taught me how to reason and had a better way to solve math problems than the way the book was trying to show me
He could do complex calculations in his head
He was at all the band functions and always told me he had a good time
He loved my mom
He loved to bring her flowers
He helped me learn all my knots in Boy Scouts
He showed me how to set up a tent
He showed me how to start a good fire
He took us camping every summer
He cooked a mean brisket
He told each one of us that we were his favorite son/daughter (and he meant it)
He was more concerned about his impact than an impression
He cared about his profession and taught hundreds of men and women professional courses
He took life seriously but he could joke about anything
He had an opinion about everything
He let you know his opinions
He was the only one alive that could beat me in Scrabble (hahaha, Margie, you never will!!!)
He did the hardest crossword puzzles in ink
He taught me it was OK to be smarter than my teachers (well, I WAS)
He always dressed better than anyone else in the room
He had the coolest ties
He wore black silk pajamas after his surgery
He never let on that he was sick
He fought to the end
He died with a smile
I loved my dad, and I miss him deeply. He was my mentor and my friend, and I will always have his impression on my life. He didn't always do everything right (he would argue with me on that) but he did everything the best way he could.
I've recently learned some things about myself because of the close relationship I had with him. I wish he was still here, because there's so much I would still like to ask him. The problem is, I took so much for granted when he was here. Even though I knew for at least 6 months that his condition would lead to his death, I didn't spend near enough time with him to ask everything I needed to. Some things went to the grave with him, and I'll have to figure them out myself.
Happy Father's Day, Dad... I miss you.
Update: 2006 - Another year has passed since my dad left to be with the Lord. ALthough I still miss him, the pain of his death has been easier to bear. I've grown in these last 2 years, and I realize how precious and short this life is. I am understanding how important it is to have strong relationships with other men who can encourage me, bless me, and keep me accountable. And I am relying more and more upon the voice of my Father, God to lead me through this life. I thank God for the relationship I had with my dad while he was alive, but even more for the relationship we both have with Him. Happy Father's Day to you dads out there - Kansas Bob, Matt, Bobby - and all you guys that encourage me.
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