Sunday, May 01, 2005

What's Your Brazen Serpent?

Occassionally I want to bring you something from my friend, Robert Fitts.
Website: www.robertfitts.com
Robert always challenges me with his messages. I hope he challenges you too. More tomorrow. I'm dealing with some strong issues and conviction right now and what I really want to do is just close myself off.
"HE CALLED IT NEHUSTAN"
by Robert Fitts

It is altogether possible that you have a Nehushtan in your life. If you do, you need to deal with it in the same way that King Hezekiah dealt with it. He broke it in pieces.

But what is a Nehushtan? For the people of God in II Kings 18 it was a brazen serpent. For you and me it is something else, but it is still a Nehushtan. The meaning of the word is "An unclean thing."

To understand the spiritual impact of this we must go to the book of Numbers. In chapter 21 we read of the judgment of God upon the Israelites because of their constant complaining about their circumstances. (Take note, complainers) The Lord sent fiery serpents among them, many were bitten and many died. The people cried out to Moses and Moses prayed to the Lord for the people. God gave Moses instructions to make a brass serpent and put it on a pole in the middle of the camp where all could see it and said, "Everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live." The intent of the word "look" is not a casual glance but an attentive, expectant, steady and absorbing gaze. And so it was that if any were bitten, when they looked at the brass ser­pent, they were healed.

Now there was certainly nothing evil about looking at the brass serpent in that way within the context of that pressing need. It was God's means of deliverance in answer to the prayer of Moses. But we read in II Kings 18 that, many years later, the people were burning incense to that brass serpent and looking to it as some sort of fetish. They had made it a little brass god and had their attention focused on it instead of on the living God. Hezekiah turned his fierce anger on it the same as he had done to all their idols.

God has had to deal with Nehushtans in my life. Some years ago I began to experience the release and power that fasting will bring to our lives as believers. That was OK. Then I got my eyes on fasting. It became a "thing" to me. I even got to the place where I didn't feel spiritual unless I was fasting. That was NOT OK!!!

I have had to "break in pieces" that Nehushtan in my life. Not that I no longer fast. I still fast but there was a long period of time in which I could not fast until I was able to see it in its proper light again.

God wants us to focus our attention on Him and not on some brass serpent that represents some aspect of truth or some means of His deliverance that happened in our past. He doesn't want us to build a shrine to anything. The first thing that Peter wanted to do when he saw Jesus transfigured on the mount was to "build three tabernacles . . . " The Lord rebuked Peter with a strong voice right out of heaven, saying, "This is my beloved son! HEAR HIM! God wants our focus of attention to be on JESUS, not even on an experience we have had with Jesus.
It seems we're continually trying to wrap something up in a neat little package so we can put it under our arm and say, "Look what I've got!" It is just too risky to put our trust in something we can't see or feel.

But God is cutting away all our outward props. He will deal severely with our false gods. Some people's Nehushtans are them­selves! Their focus and their trust is in their own strength, talents, intelligence and ingenuity. Others have their eyes on some plan or program. Still others have their confidence in their job, their company, their money, their reputation, their friends, their good looks, their charismatic personality, on and on.

God is very merciful and patient with us and will wait on us for a long time and with great tenderness, but the time will come when he will turn up the heat in order to burn off our lives all things that hinder our coming into the perfection of his plan for us. It is a painful, but "worth it all" experience. Will you pray this prayer with me? "Lord, be relentless with me! Please don't give up on me until I'm thoroughly purged from all things that defile or that grieve your Holy Spirit. And don't give in for my crying. Amen."

Tuesday, April 19, 2005


I have had no meaningful thoughts go through my head, consequently, I have written nothing. My thoughts have been taken over by the urgency of the tasks I need to complete each day. Now that I have begun to work in another city and there is but 2 or 3 weeks of school left, my days and thoughts have been reduced to prioritized lists of daily activities. I'll be glad when school is over for the summer. I may take the summer off to recover. I think I'm too old to push myself like I used to, and even if I'm not, it's not worth it.
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Thursday, April 07, 2005

Stripping Away the Old Finish

This week already has been one of many hard lessons. I was reading a book last night by Thomas Weeks III; his idea was this: If you hired a contractor to refinish your fine hardwood floors, he wouldn't just put varnish over what you had.... you would expect him to strip off the old varnish and sand the floors down to their bare, natural state. He would then have to carefully fill any cracks and repair gouges, loose boards, etc., before he started the finishing process. My experience has been that it takes lots of work, preparation and several coats of finish to make a floor look right.
God does the same thing with us. He strips us down to what he originally created, fills in our rough places, heals our wounds, and nails down the "loose boards"... It is a process, and sometimes a painful one. I was frustrated last night because , once again, I find myself in a struggle with something that has always been a struggle for me. And once again, God is taking off the old, dirty, scarred finish from my life, stripping me down to the bare original creation, so he can refinish me, layer by layer.
The process of growth into prosperity is one of being willing to have yourself restored. God is always willing. We are the hindrance., especially when we try to do it ourselves. Reading "how-to" and self help books or even listening to sermon after sermon gives us information, but ultimately, it comes down to submitting ourselves to a Holy Father, laying down our flesh and allowing Him to change us, one layer at a time.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Eph 2:10

Monday, April 04, 2005

Free Dog


"Cuddles" Free to good home. Gentle with children, great lapdog.

We had to recently "adopt-out" our pit chihuahua/dingo mix. Linda couldn't stand her any more. For that matter, none of us could stand her any more. She had a brain the size of a pea and the intelligence of a rock. Phoebe was constantly tearing something up...didn't matter what it was... It could be plants, sticks, charcoal briquettes, a shoe, a toy, or whatever else got within her reach. She was particularly fond of my daughter's panties... the crotch especially.
I put a flyer up with her picture on it and gave her away within an hour. She really was a cute dog, and I'm sure someone with energy and time could make her into a good pet. But she didn't fit into this family. I will never have another little dog for a pet. I'll stick to beagles.
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Friday, April 01, 2005


Michael Shaivo has a wicked heart. I am still horrified over the death of this poor woman, Terry Shaivo. I can't imagine why, in America, we could stand by and let this happen. She was murdered, and cruelly so. There's NO WAY she could have passed away "beautifully and peacefully" as his (Michael's) slime, low-life attorney kept saying. I watched my dad die.....his death was quick, but he still suffered. Death is NOT an easy process. It's NOT like the movies, where they just close their eyes and stop. Had it not been for all the morphine in Dad, I'm sure it would have been even more painful for him. And if it was so peaceful and Terry had no pain, why were the hospice people giving her morphine?
I guess all this surrounds the issue of whether or not a spouse should have the say in whether or not the other spouse should be "allowed" to die. Who has that power except God? We have an out of control, unaccountable judiciary who has ignored congress and even our President, who represent THE PEOPLE. Michael Shaivo had already broken his covenant vows with his wife and had UNFAITHFULLY, SELFISHLY, and SHAMEFULLY taken another. He is an adulterer, a cheat, and a murderer. I believe he gave up all rights when he broke his marriage vows. I want to know: what would have been so bad about letting her LIVE??? All he had to do was let her go and give her back to her parents, who were more than happy to take on the responsibility of taking care of her.
So now the courts are deciding who is fit to live and who should die by starvation. This was NOT a matter of just disconnecting a life support system on a person that was about to die, who was being kept alive only by artificial means. She could have well lived another 15 years or more, and possibly been rehabilitated to a point of talking and eating on her own. She was starved to death! My God.....it took her 14 days to die! Can you imagine? That's how long it would take a HEALTHY person to survive if they did not eat or drink. This was an unnecessary and barbaric death. It was a murder, legalized by an arrogant judge.
What's to say, if I had a stroke, and was paralyzed from the neck down, and Linda had to feed me because I was unable to do it myself.... and say she got tired of doing that....or the state wouldn't pay for my care because I was deemed a "burden".... can the court now say, "Stop feeding him..."?????? "He can't take care of himself any longer, he's a vegetable, he's sub-human...."
Scary thought, but not that far from reality. I remember the stupid, useless and humanistic scenario we did in high school once.... We had to pretend we were in a group of people; a lawyer, a priest, a mother, an old person, a child, an architect, and a janitor..... then we had to imagine we were marooned on an island with limited food and only enough for all but one person....so who would have to die? I can't believe we actually had to discuss this and I thought then, just as I do now, that the exercise was one of the most useless and barbaric discussions we ever had. I think I got sent to the office for my "intolerance." Freaking * )(%@#!@#$_ liberal teacher. It was she that was intolerant.
I hope I am never faced with having to take care of someone I love that is in a situation like that. I think about my sister, who endured much suffering and pain when her husband had to overcome damage caused by surgery of a tumor attached to his brain stem. He lost all the motor skills on his left side. There are months that are a total blank to him. I remember going to see him. He could not talk, eat, swallow, or even breathe on his own. There were those that said he would never walk again, or function normally. That was 6 years ago, and today he walks, he eats by himself, and he is even in college. I'm so proud of my sister for sticking with her husband, even though she could have given up. I'm so proud of my brother-in-law for having the tenacity, persistence and determination to make it as far as he has.
I hang my head in shame for an America that failed Terry Shaivo, and have deep sorrow for the 80% of the (uninformed and naive) American public who thought it was OK and justified. We have let a horrible thing happen. It's a good thing the Pope doesn't live in Florida...

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Hope

16 years old....all hope lost. Too young to lose hope, yet here was this young man, hopeless and full of despair. How do we let these young people get there? Why do we, as a society, fail to recognize and come to the aid of these young, hopeless kids? Where is our compassion?
I am reluctantly linking this page to a story of Jeff Weise, the young man that was the suicidal murderer in last weeks shooting rampage. There is an animated video that he posted last October. DIDN'T ANYONE NOTICE????? It escapes me how we let stuff like this happen, when all of the signs are there. This young person was evidently in need of help long ago. What about his parents? Friends? Are there really that many that just never get reached? It is a sad comentary of our world.

Monday, March 21, 2005

"Butterfly on Lantana"


"Butterfly on Lantana" 3" x 3", Watercolor on paper, Framed

Someone asked if I could draw also. I love doing tiny paintings and sketches of things. This was my first attempt at a butterfly. I took the picture in my garden last Spring, and painted it from that. My Artwork link shows this along with other tiny paintings. I also have some larger ones on the site as well. I have some ideas for some very large works in my head....I just need to get around to do them. I'll post them as I complete them.

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Sunday, March 13, 2005

Prayers


"Prayers" 14" x 18", Acrylic on Canvas
Scott Windrum has a unique ministry. He plays guitar and sings as he delivers powerful words of encouragement to the congregation. Last night, as he ministered in song, I got an idea for a painting, which I entitled "Prayers". I put in his CD and listened again today as I painted this work. Thanks, Scott, for the encouraging words. I really appreciate your ministry.
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Saturday, March 12, 2005

A Company Without a Soul

I hate Bank One. Maybe I should say, I hate the the corporate philosophy of Bank One. It's all about the bottom line. People don't really matter. Situations don't matter....logic overrules the heart or soul. They keep people that don't belong there and fire or pressure good ones out. I know that everyone is under pressure by higher-ups to perform.... I know, I was on commission. I didn't need pressure from my supervisor to perform. I had pressure from my creditors to perform. I needed HELP from my company that I gave so much to, not pressure. When the company made announcements of having to cut territory, I stepped up to the plate and tried to make the transition more palatable for me, easier for the company, and best for the customers. I knew it was going to be hard to make it with 80% of my territory taken from me. I knew it would take time to ramp-up commissions.
In the meantime, my dad was dying, we were forced out of our apartment (that's another long story) by some moronic apartment managers who couldn't think beyond the present moment, we bought a house and had to wait a month after closing to move, so we rented a house temporarily for 30 days....having to move twice in 30 days is extremely difficult. I went to my company and asked for a raise in my draw, which I was summarily denied. I could understand if I was a new employee with no track record... or if I had performed poorly in the past, but I was one of the better producers with a proven track record. I honestly believe that a little help financially from my company would have made me a more viable player. I could have at least paid my bills and had more ability to concentrate on my job.
The Bank One Corporation has no soul. It is full of rules to make things "fair" for everyone, which only makes things very unfair. No one is willing to bend the rules to keep a drowning person from sinking. Things got progressively worse for me all last year, which eventually led to me quitting on September 30. It was better for me being unemployed.
Things with Bank One didn't end there. They contested my unemployment insurance claim, which was affirmed in my favor by a decision by Texas Workforce Commission. Then they appealed the decision and got a telephone hearing granted which led to the re-affirmation of TWC's original decision. A letter from Bank One's third party advocate (fancy name for bully shark barracuda attorneys) promptly followed with a plea for the TWC appeals tribunal to reverse their decision. I got a letter from TWC on Thursday reaffirming their decision AGAIN, but with ANOTHER opportunity for their bully shark barracuda attorneys to appeal, and consequently, charge more to the corporation...and ultimately, the customer.
Again: I QUIT ON SEPTEMBER 30th! TWC paid me a TOTAL of $3900 in unemployment insurance benefits. Bank One pays this through insurance premiums. It's not like it costs them the whole $3900. This is almost 6 months later and they are still hanging on, ignoring the cost of their bully shark barracuda attorneys and fighting a $3900 unemployment claim. I would guess, and this is just a guess, that the cost of the bully shark barracuda attorneys is more than $3900. (Do you ever wonder what all those "service fees" pay for?)The Bank One Corporation has no soul. Their logic goes beyond reason because no one wants to go outside the rules. I'm glad I am not working for that company anymore.
Enough of that rant.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Pauly the Rat

Update:
Situation resolved. 'nuff said.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Everyday Choices


There are some things that just don't make a lot of sense. I was taking a back way to school today and ran across this intersection. Blew my mind. But I got to thinking....aren't I faced with this dilemna every day? "There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof leads to death." Prov. 14:12, and "I set before you today life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore, choose life, that both you and your descendants may live." Deut. 30:19. Sometimes the clear choice really isn't that clear. The signs say to go left, and another says to go right. Without all the information and discernment, the obvious choice may be clouded or confused by different signs. If we take the time to examine all of the information and ask God for direction, we can be sure He will tell us which way to go.
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Thursday, March 03, 2005

"Sunday"

"Sunday" Acrylic on canvas, framed, 16" x 20"
I don't usually do abstract art, but I thought this was kindof cool. It actually is my first full sized work with acrylics on canvas. I have done some smaller studies, but I finally got in "the zone" last week and created this. I got a nice frame and hung it in my office, and it makes my whole office look different.
There is a real deep, emotional and intimate feeling I get when I paint. I can't explain it, but it is better than any high I can think of. I can't beleive that when I was younger, I used to think I had to smoke pot to be able to paint...My artwork from that period reflects my stifled thought patterns. I can't even think of getting high or even having a glass of wine now before I paint. Somehow it would destroy the purity of it. I am so very thankful for this talent I have. I can no longer take it for granted. I know part of my purpose is to paint, and I love it.
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Spring Fever

I am definitely feeling crazy. There is a restlessness in me that surfaces from time to time. I think it comes after a period of boredom. School has me a little overwhelmed, my job is still at a standstill, and there's too many temptations to go find something more fun to do than study all the time. The weather has been just right to get out to the golf course too, and I finally just gave in yesterday and put my clubs in the trunk. Spring is officially here now! I was out at the driving range the other day....it was beautiful...65 degrees, sunny, the ground was a little wet, so we didn't actually get out on the course. Nevertheless, it was nice to get out there and hit some solid drives again. I feel the extra inch or so around my middle though. Time to get that off so I can swing a little better.
OK...I guess it's Spring Fever.