Beer, Barbecue, and Bible Study

Social Networking, Blogging, and random thoughts

2011-01-09T11:21:00.001-06:00

I watched in fascination the other day CNBC's program, "The Facebook Obsession." I realized that I, too, have become complacent about sharing bits of personal and private information on a public forum. It didn't happen overnight; just like the proverbial frog in the pan of water, it happened a little at a time, never enough to make me uncomfortable, until all at once, I realized I was in boiling water. Unlike the stupid frog, however, I was smart enough to hop out of the pot before I got boiled to death.

It took me all of an hour to purge personal information from my profile of Facebook. i have my doubts, however that all of that information has just disappeared into the air somewhere. There is still a nagging suspicion that somewhere in the belly of the facebook beast, my information still resides, at the beck and call of some techno-geek, ready to retrieve for some government agent because I am no longer sharing my information with the matrix.Call me paranoid, but there is something really wrong about a private company that is worth billions, and run by a young, liberal idealist (who had one of his key employees help Chairman Zero get elected), with no accountability. and this company stores information on over half a billion people!
I really don't want for something to happen to me, and the news media report,"...and he had recently written ________on his facebook page..." And what business it it really, for a company to know my demographics that I voluntarily posted, so they can profit by allowing their advertisers to target me specifically? Why, like with any other company, are we not allowed to opt out?
So I think for now, Facebook will keep my account, but I will choose carefully what to share with them, and I will limit my demographic information to the minimum, and not use "Like," "Check in.," or any applications. I mean, who among us would allow a complete stranger to come to our door and say, "OK, I'm going to move in with you so you can stay in contact with all your friends, share your private life, and I'm going to allow advertisers to contact you based on what I know about you.?"
I am limited to a certain number of characters to post my ramblings on Facebook anyway. I have more room in my blog, and it's still possible to post comments, share pictures, etc. It's been a while since I used this forum, anyway. I always liked it better, I can edit easier, and only those who choose to come here can see everything I write anyway.

Best Mens Retreat Ever

2010-02-22T13:16:00.002-06:00

This past weekend I was privileged to spend time with 8 other spiritual men at a private ranch outside of Belton, TX. This weekend began about 6 months ago at one of our Rachel's Vineyard retreats. Realizing the retreat is more geared toward women: even when men attend, the level of depth the men are willing to take is not as deep as when there are just men. God began to move on my heart to organize a retreat for men only. I took it to mean another Rachel's Vineyard or post-abortion healing retreat, but every time I thought or prayed about it, the door would shut to that idea.
I continued to seek the Lord, but by New Year's I knew it would not be an abortion centered type of retreat. From the beginning, I knew this had to be a different type of men's retreat. I knew we didn't need another weekend where someone would tell us all the things we weren't doing right and what we needed to change.
I finally sat down to put some ideas on paper, and over a weekend developed the whole plan - from who to invite, the venue, a menu, budget, shopping list, prayer partners, and even an agenda. I continued to ask the Lord how I was going to get all of this together. I'm just one person, and I don't have all the answers. There were 3 key areas where I knew God wanted to work in us: 1) Who am I, where did I come from, and where is God taking me? 2) My relationships and 3) How do I stay accountable?
How was I going to teach all that???!!! I kept hearing in my spirit, "Relax. Give it to me, and I'll do the work." Well, that sounds nice and comforting, but any man can tell you that nothing goes according to plan unless you have a plan. So I continued to work on a plan, even though I wasn't having much success.
So before anyone arrived Friday night, I had written down some introductory comments to make regarding the ranch layout, the sleeping arrangements, food, chores, and of course, the schedule and agenda. Basically, I needed to let everyone know what to expect and what we were going to do. As I wrote the bullet-point "Schedule" on my pad, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me, "No schedule." When I wrote the word, "Agenda," again I heard, "No agenda." EXCUSE ME?!?! I was reminded God had said many times, "Let me do it." So I did.
I had just a few rules for discussion - no politics, no preaching, and no doctrinal discussions. After I had covered the bullet points with everyone, I had an icebreaker question. It was simple, and it was based on a conversation I had with a co-worker a few months back. Since we were all connected in some way (I've known one of the men there for over 25 years, and my son was there as well) I asked everyone to tell the group one thing about themselves that nobody there knew.
Wow.
It not only broke the ice, but it was like one of the icebreaker ships the Coast Guard uses to open a navigational waterway for ships to pass. Two hours later we had already gotten pretty deep. It was time to move the conversation outside, around the fire pit. What better way to get men talking and open? So one of the men appointed himself as Fire Minister, and we broke out cigars, the bourbon, and began the conversation again. We were up until 1:30 Friday night. And it was good.
I was wondering if everyone was talked out when I woke up Saturday morning. But when I came down to the main house, one of the men was cooking, and the conversation had already begun. I might mention again here, that the entire weekend, all we did was talk - and it didn't include sports, politics, or religious arguments - the things guys usually talk about. I did not tell everyone what I had planned to discuss - the Holy Spirit opened and led the discussion.
We had a couple of more guys arrive around noon Saturday, and we discussed "The 5 Pillars of Truth:"
1. God loves and accepts me
2. I have God's favor and blessing.
3. I have God's joy and peace
4. I live out of God's power and provision
5. I have God's guidance and wisdom.
We talked through the afternoon, through dinner and into the night. Again, we were up late into the night around the fire pit again. There were 3 of us that were out there until 2:30 am.
Sunday's discussion was exactly what I had planned to discuss, but again, it was not prompted by me - the Holy Spirit prompted a discussion on accountability around the breakfast table. Awesome.
So all of the 3 areas of discussion I had written down were discussed - without my prompting, and without me having to plan a teaching, or follow a study. The teacher was the Holy Spirit. We were his agenda, and it was on His schedule. I truly learned something God has been trying to teach me for 52 years - how to relax and allow Him to direct.
I'll upload some pictures in another post.

Life is a stress test

2009-05-23T10:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm in my 50's now, and trips to the doctor lately have been frequent. Not because I am sick, but because they want to make sure I am NOT sick. In the last 3 months, I have had blood drawn no less than 5 times, I monitor my blood pressure daily, had my prostate exam, a poop test, urinalysis, an ABG (painful), EKG, electrocardiogram, saw a hematologist, and yesterday had my first stress test. And every test shows I have nothing wrong with me, other than I'm not 25 anymore. All my numbers are perfect, and other than having my blood pressure regulated by medication, I'm in great health for an old dude.
I was thinking of the stress test I took yesterday. It was a microcosm of life. Before the test, I was given some simple instructions: when the treadmill starts, get on and start walking. Keep pace - don't get ahead or behind. Tell the doctor if I feel dizzy, weak, or have chest pains. And if I have to stop, tell the doctor, and he will slow it down to a stop - don't try to just get off on my own.
When it started, it was a slow, almost-too-easy pace... appropriately, uphill. As time went on, gradually the speed and angle was increased. And each time it was increased, the doctor was there, asking how I was doing, letting me know what was about to happen, and making sure I was OK. He also let me know along the way that my heart was functioning fine, and the readings he was getting were normal for the activity level. The last part of the test was the hardest, and had me breathing hard, my heart rate was up, and I started to break a sweat. It was a little bit of a challenge, but he got me up to a speed that was necessary to get my heart rate to the level needed, for the time needed, and then gradually slowed it down to conclude the test. "Perfect," he said, "You're right where you should be, and you have a healthy heart. Looks good."
Do you ever think, through the stress of life, that God is right there with us? Just like the doctor, he gives us instruction (we have to be ready and listening first, though) before we begin, and along the way (if we're listening) he lets us know what is happening. He asks us if we're doing OK, and wants us to tell Him if we're not, or if we're dizzy, weak, or have pain. And if we do, he'll stop us before we wreck. All dependent on our communication, though - we have to stay in touch with Him or it won't work.
And then he takes us to the point of just enough exertion to get us panting,sweating, and breathing hard - but only as much as we can stand, and for only as long as we can stand it. When it's over, He's there to tell us, "Perfect, you're right where you should be, and you have a healthy heart. Looks good." He never fails us. He'll just give us another test until we pass.

First ride of the season

2009-03-08T22:17:00.002-05:00

I have a confession. I love to eat. Too much. Last year when I was training for HH100, I was logging about 100 miles a week on my bike, and eating like a dingo. When I stopped training, I continued eating. I am now 12 lbs. heavier than I was when I did the HH100.
Tha good new is, the season has started again, and I have some rides to train for. The first road ride I'll do is March 28, the Salado Smokin' Spokes. I think I may start with a 50 miler, if I can log some miles by then.

Today I did 26 very slow miles with a couple of other 50ish guys. I was painfully slow, but they were out for the excersize, not a race. I like riding like that, even though they still pushed me some. So here I am after returning home:

And here's our ride:
03/08/2009 Route
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The Chihuahua Farm

2008-07-30T17:57:00.001-05:00

I see the weirdest things sometimes. I passed this the other day on a group ride, and didn't have my camera. I decided today since I was riding alone, I would stop and document this evil place.

4th of July Club Ride

2008-07-04T13:34:00.004-05:00

There's nothing like getting up early on a holiday morning and heading out for a 7:00 a.m. ride with 30 or more other people. Then after the ride, having breakfast ready outside with a bunch of crazy riders who want to start the party early.

I had a blast - and got home in time for family time.

Here's our ride:
4th of July 2008 club ride
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I must be freaking nuts

2008-06-22T16:58:00.002-05:00

So here's what I do on my Sunday afternoons. Instead of staying inside, watching TV and drinking a beer, Pauly's out there in the 100 deg. heat, drinking GU2O and burning 1033 calories. We had a short ride today, only about 21 miles since no one wanted to go the extra 5 or six miles.
Actually, I love testing my body's endurance, and there's always a sense of accomplishment when I'm done. Here's my ride:

Sunday afternoon Expo to Salado - short route back
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Relationships that last

2008-06-19T07:10:00.005-05:00

A few weeks ago, I started getting emails from some classmates I hadn't seen in over 30 years. They came fast and furious, sometimes up to 30 or 40 emails in a couple of days. They centered around our high school band director, Charles Kuentz, who is having a school built and named after him in San Antonio, TX. A few of us decided to get together at Pico de Gallo's in San Antonio last Friday.

It's peculiar how these relationships have stayed connected through an interesting framework built long ago, and kept alive through not just memories and nostalgia, but through life-long, committed and on-purpose contact. I graphed this out the other day in a conversation with my coach, Bobby Williams. I'm going to try to outline it in writing.

Let me set the stage first. Greg (Greger) Wright has been a friend of mine since 7th grade. 40 years...There is no one else in this world, outside my family, with whom I have kept in contact with for so long. Greger is connected to Anna, Betty, Carol, Ronnie, Larry, and me. I connected with Cynthia, and each one of us is connected to a few others, but the "hub" is Greger.

So yesterday, I was engaged in a conversation with Bobby, and he asked me what my perception of coaching is. Having never been in organized sports, the only thing I could relate to is Mr Kuentz, my band director. He had a framework in which he provided:

Resources - a place to practice and learn, music, uniforms, instruments, etc.

Direction and boundaries - so that we could safely and effectively progress from one level to the next

Mentors and leaders - more experienced peer relationships that helped us improve through technique and accountability

Encouragement - not only to improve, but he was constantly drawing out the talent we already had within us

Challenges - we had to compete for our position within our respective groups

Focus - not only on our individual strengths, but also on working as a team

Testing - we often had to audition individually in front of him

Application - we had to perform as a team, and in harmony

Out of this framework flowed relationships, growth (both personal and corporate), revelation, and transformation.

So the question came up - is the church working this way? Usually, whenever spiritual meetings occur, the focus is centered on whoever is ministering at the time - the praise & worship team, the preacher, etc. - but, where is our focus to be if we want to truly experience growth, lasting relationships, revelation and transformation? Do we work on coaching and encouraging our brothers and sisters to grow, (and this can only come through relationship, not a program) or do we just come once a week to hear a message and then stumble through the rest of our week wondering why "the devil is attacking" us?

The focus has to be on each other, and flowing out of our relationship with the Father, a divine connection in a kingdom that provides us with resources, encouragement, and all things necessary for kingdom living. It's then promoted through people that are using those resources and bringing others along with them. We can't get this from a once a week "church" experience - whether it's in a traditional or a house setting. Relationships and growth have to flow from a healthy framework that encourages us to become the best in all areas of our lives, and then to multiply and reproduce.

So when the five of us old-timers, who hadn't seen each other in 33 years, met for lunch on Friday, it was like we had just left the band hall and went to the cafeteria - we picked up where we had left off 33 years ago. These lasting relationships flowed from a healthy framework that reproduced itself in our lives, families, and church. I can't wait to see where this goes from here.

I pooped out

2008-05-31T16:08:00.010-05:00

I bravely started the Tour d' Temple with 168 other riders this morning, fully intending on riding the 100Km (62.5 miles) route. I averaged about 16.5 mph to the 2nd rest stop, about 21.5 miles out. I was feeling pretty good, not tired, confident in my exercise and nutrition this past week. The wind was from the south, about 12-16 mph, so I had an easy ride until then.

Mother Neff State Park was the site of the 2nd rest stop. It's the oldest state park in Texas, and has some beautiful old pecan and oak trees - some over 100 years old. It's one of my favorite scenic places in Texas, and has so much shade, it's always about 10 degrees cooler than anywhere else. It's also on the Leon River, which feeds into Lake Belton. With the rains last year, the entire park was underwater. It's recovered maybe about 65%. None of the buildings have reopened.

At Mother Neff - underneath some pecan trees.

I took off from MNSP onto the 100k route.

Here's the road right outside of MNSP.

Up a nice climb, then turned onto Moody-Gatesville Parkway (Hwy 107) toward the east - and into the wind. Then south, back to MNSP - right into a wind so stiff, I had to pedal downhill. When I reached the park again, I realized I was the LAST person on the 100k loop. The rest behind me had already quit or turned at the 50 mile turnaround. I was still making decent time, about 15 mph average, so I was still OK. My legs were feeling a little tired, but I continued to fuel with e-water and oranges. the next part of the ride started going bad around 35 miles. Then it happened - I hit the wall at 40 miles. I figured if I just continued, I'd get my second wind, but it never happened. I had to dismount around 41 miles and take another break, then I was just looking for the next rest stop. I thought maybe I would recover, and at least go 50 miles, or even finish on the 50 mile route - which would have let me ride in with about 56 miles.... nope. When I got to the last rest stop, I felt spent. I knew my body was telling me to stop. And even though I know I could have maybe gone another 10-12 miles, it was against a headwind, and I decided to call in the SAG. Poop.
I think a combo of not riding much the past week, the wind, and going to bed late last night. I got beat by the wind, heat, and just exhaustion. So I rode in an air conditioned truck back to the start...44.6 miles, according to the Vetta.

So I came back home for a cold Dos Equis and some pizza.

My route:
Tour d' Temple
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Hands

2007-12-02T22:36:00.000-06:00

In January I'll be married 25 years to my first wife.

Tonight, I held her hand and realized there's a possibility that that someday I might not be able to hold her hand or feel her soft skin next to mine.

I closed my eyes and felt her hand in mine so I could always remember how good it felt.

It felt good.

Elfing

2007-11-28T08:13:00.000-06:00

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9625834974

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T07:38:00.000-06:00

I have a lot to be thankful for
I am thankful for...
my family
my life
my relationships
my business
my church
God's grace
A warm, dry, comfortable house

I used to be poor and now I'm not
I used to worry and now I don't
I used to fret and now I laugh
I used to be sick and now I'm healthy
I lost my Dad to cancer, but I gained insight to my life and purpose
I made the best with what I had, and I learned to appreciate what I have instead of being mad about what I don't
I used to be closed, cynical, and shut off, but I've learned to love, accept, and like people
I used to be mean, but even little kids like me now
I used to hate, but I learned compassion
I used to think I was better than others, but I know myself well enough now to know I'm not
I'm thankful I learned I can't control what people think, do, or say - but I can control how I react
I'm glad I don't have to be perfect to be happy

A Thanksgiving poem

Eat well
Love your family
And if it's anything you pass
Make sure it's the gravy
And not the gas

Happy Thanksgiving!

Birthday Cards

2007-11-07T22:34:00.000-06:00

I got some great birthday cards this year. Some of them funny, a couple of serious ones... I'm so thankful for those that either sent me a card or wrote me an email. Even the people at my office gave me a card, and decorated my office with pink and white streamers. Made me feel special.

But the greatest timing and most coveted card I got was...............................(and I have been waiting for this)......................

My AARP Membership Card!!!

They don't miss a beat... I guess I can finally say I've arrived. WOOOO HOOOO!!!

I can hardly wait to start asking for the discounts.

I Made It!

2007-11-06T14:22:00.000-06:00

I made it to half-time....the half-time of life. 50 years old today, and I feel great. I also accomplished a major goal today - I rode 51 miles on my bike! My odometer said 51.8 miles, but the map said slightly under... (see below. )

At any rate, riding 50 miles on my 50th birthday was what I was hoping to do, so what's a few tenths of a mile between us anyway??? My first phone call this morning was from my all-time favorite little girl, Isabella. She called me right as I was getting ready to leave, so it made my day. I took some pics:

(If you click on the pictures, you get the full-size view)

Here I am about 6 miles out, thinking this was a BAD mistake - maybe I'll delay this til tomorrow - I had a 20-25 mph wind in my face all the way to Moody (24 miles) -
(This is my "Oh shit, what am I doing?" look...)

I watched the trains switch tracks in Pendleton

It was cold - it only warmed up to about 61 by the time I finished

Getting closer to Moody - I took a break around 20 miles

Moody - the half-way point. After I made the turn, I made it home in half the time it took me to get there.

So that's my big adventure - time for a hot bath and a cold beer. Here's my ride:
Western Hills/Moody/Pendelton 50 mile loop
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Easy does it

2007-11-05T09:09:00.000-06:00

I've been sick for the last 3 weeks, since the 100 hole golf marathon I did on Oct 15th. I guess that's what I get for killing that poor water moccasin with a mouse in its mouth. Beat him with a 3 wood.
Today was the first ride I have taken since before then, so I decided to take it easy. I am hoping tomorrow I can fulfill my goal of 50 miles on my 50th birthday - but it will have to be a slow ride, and I'll need to prepare for some wicked weather. I'm not sure when the cold front is supposed to blow in; either tonight or tomorrow morning. The wind will shift from the south to the north, bringing 20-30 mph winds. That makes for a tough ride. I am planning a northerly trek to begin, so I'll have the wind to my back when I make my turn. I'll update tomorrow.
This morning was a beautiful fall morning, and I enjoyed getting back in the saddle. Even more, I didn't ride hard so I was able to enjoy some quiet time in prayer, and reflect a little on my life. I am finally at half-time. I wonder what the rest of my life has in store. Sometimes I feel I haven't accomplished that much, but I realize I am only comparing myself to others instead of being glad for what God has done with me so far. When I think of all the miraculous things I have seen, done, and allowed to happen, I am overwhelmed with the magnitude of God's grace. I wonder how He has brought me this far.
I'll write more, because these past few weeks I have been introspective - and it has yielded some deep thoughts. I promise to share more soon. Here's my easy ride this morning:

10 mile loop Western Hills/317/Prairie View
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Today's ride

2007-10-06T12:29:00.000-05:00

Here's the bike. I haven't given it a name yet, but I sure am enjoying riding it. Today's ride was slightly over 21 miles. This week I added the rear rack so I can carry stuff when I get ready to take some longer trips, or if I want to ride to the grocery store and pick something up. Right now it's mainly for convenience.
Here's today's ride:

&amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/tx/temple/906553504"&amp;gt;W Hills/ Pegasus/Pendleton loop&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;br/&amp;gt;&amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/find-ride/united-states/tx/temple"&amp;gt;Find more Bike Rides in Temple, Texas&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;
I'm hoping next week I can get back to the gym a couple of days a week for a little racquetball. Now that the weather is changing, cooler weather might keep me off the streets.

New sport for me

2007-10-04T10:10:00.000-05:00

I've had to stop playing racquetball - sadly...I love the game and competition - but I have taken up bike riding to keep my weight down. besides that, I love riding. The only thing that would make it better is if I had 2 or 3 others to ride with every day.
I hope all this road time can help me lose the 40 lbs. I need to shed... I startes about 8 weeks ago, riding 8 miles, then 10, then 12. This week I started with a 15 miler on a new bike! I'll post pics of my bike in another post. Here was my ride today:

&amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/tx/temple/640054888"&amp;gt;20 mile Pendleton loop from Western Hills&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;br/&amp;gt;&amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/find-ride/united-states/tx/temple"&amp;gt;Find more Bike Rides in Temple, Texas&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;

Happy Father's Day

2007-06-17T11:37:00.000-05:00

Faithful – Therefore, know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations for those who love Him and keep His commandments. Deuteronomy 7:9

Approved – Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 1Timothy 2:15

Teacher – And you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way , when you lie down, and when you rise up. Deuteronomy 6:7

Heart – Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 11:19

Endures – Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

Righteous - The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. Proverbs 18:10

************************************************************************************
We recently began to share our worship and "church" time with a group in a "bad" part of Temple. My friends, Bobby and Sheridan, opened "Humble House" in an area of Temple known for crack houses, prostitution, drug dealing, and high crime. Humble house is a place for former addicts to come, seek refuge, and get cleaned up; while learning how to be overcomers in Christ, and become givers and producers.
They currently house about 8-10 guys who are committed to changing their lives for the better. These guys have really blessed me, and this morning was no exception. I made some Father's Day card for them, which included the above acrostic. More than likely, it's the only Father's Day card they'll get, as they are in the process of restoring relationships - not just with their children, but relationships in general. Thank God for grace.
This morning's service encouraged us to put the past behind us and move on to the goal God has given us, and that is restoration. I am so blessed to be part of this ministry, and those guys touch my heart every week. Ain't that what church is all about anyway?

Robot Chicken - Giraffe

2007-02-13T18:46:00.001-06:00

Have you ever been down this road?

Thought for the day

2007-01-22T15:18:00.000-06:00

Great things are not done by great people; they are done by ordinary people who have great expectations, and who are open to what the Lord wants to do through them.

Everyday choices

2007-01-20T09:49:00.000-06:00

Reposted - prompted by From the Morning

"There are some things that just don't make a lot of sense. I was taking a back way to school today and ran across this intersection. Blew my mind. But I got to thinking....aren't I faced with this dilemma every day? "There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof leads to death." Prov. 14:12, and "I set before you today life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore, choose life, that both you and your descendants may live." Deut. 30:19. Sometimes the clear choice really isn't that clear. The signs say to go left, and another says to go right. Without all the information and discernment, the obvious choice may be clouded or confused by different signs. If we take the time to examine all of the information and ask God for direction, we can be sure He will tell us which way to go."

The original post was in March of 2005. Here it is almost 2 years later, and I realize how prophetic and what a profound thing God showed me back then. I had no idea what He had in store for me, and how gracefully He would guide me through such turbulent times.

There have been many signs, signals, opportunities, and warnings along the way. I'd like to be real spiritual and say that each time I got on my knees, prayed, and listened to what God told me to do, which way to turn, or what to avoid. I'd like to tell you that each time God spoke, I obediently listened and followed His every direction.

I can't tell you that.

I can only tell you that God loves me - and you - so much that He guides us, nudges us, encourages us, and steers us....just because He loves us so much. He puts us in the right places, introduces us to the right people, and shows us the right way. We still get to make the decisions.
There are a few scriptures that come to mind right now -

" A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps."
Proverbs 16:9

"The steps of a righteous man are ordered by God, and He delights in his way."
Psalms 37:23

" For this God is our God forever and ever: He will be our guide even unto death."
Psalms 48:14

" If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall your hand lead me, and your right hand shall hold me."
Psalm 139:9

Nothing is impossible with God.

2006-12-30T08:53:00.000-06:00

One of the things my father taught me was that this is America, and it is possible to achieve anything you want, no matter what color you are, how much money you have, or where you grew up. What my Father taught me is that, "Nothing is impossible with God."

I started this year by resigning from a firm that was paying me a (livable) salary, but with whom I saw no future. I had no job to go to, or any prospects of employment. I am a person who does not believe working harder or even smarter is what will make me successful, wealthy, or satisfied. I believe that doing work that is personally important and relevant to my purpose in life is what will make me wealthy - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. So in the first 45 days of 2006, I made some life-changing career decisions that, on the surface, seemed (at the least) crazy, financially impossible, and just a bit insane. But I knew in my heart that in order for my life to be in order, I was going to have to define and understand my purpose, and have all the parts of my life - my goals, habits, and occupations - fall into that order.

The good news is that God has been able to do exactly that. All I did was allow Him to work in me, and change my attitudes. That's a pretty bold statement from someone who isn't "there" yet. I'm not perfect and I haven't "arrived" yet, but I know I have gotten one part of my life transformed. I am in a rare minority of people who can say, "I love my work." I was having a conversation with one of my nephews the other day. He asked me what I did for a living and I told him. I didn't tell him I am a financial planner/consultant/advisor or dazzle him with fancy titles. I told him what I actually do, and that I am so grateful that I can do what I do. You see, I realize my work is important, not only to me and my family who are the beneficiaries of the commissions and fees my clients pay me, but also those people I serve - my clients and the credit union that took a chance on an unknown broker and gave me a platform on which to practice my profession. I realize that by helping people understand what they need to be doing to plan for their financial goals, or to preserve their assets and generate an income in their retirement, I am greatly satisfied, fulfilled, and am becoming wealthy - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially.

Let me entertain you by capsulizing the past year. In January I was broke, living check-to-check (barely), and I was months behind on 2 house payments, my car, credit cards, etc. I had no savings, no credit, and had spent all my retirement savings. I had nothing tangible to offer anyone or to capitalize a business of my own. I felt like a loser, wondered if I had ever heard anything from God, and had no idea what I was going to do to support my family and keep a roof over our heads. I submitted to my wife's urges to apply for a real job, and I took my "impressive" résumé to several major employers in town. I didn't even get a nibble, save one from a company that indicated they would not be able to meet my income requirements.

Through divine intervention, I met some key people - John, Bobby, Gary, Ronny - who together, formed a network of people that would change my life. So many people have been part of that network - Jay, Bob, Jimmy, Ray, Bob & Ellen, Dr. John - to name just a few. All I can say is thanks for adding so much to my life.

Over the course of a few weeks God was able to do this:
I transferred to a new broker/dealer with no out of pocket cost to me
My occupation and purpose got definition
I had a major emotional breakthrough in understanding that with God I cannot fail
I was offered an office, marketing support, and a business relationship at no apparent cost to me
My professional credentials were upgraded - again, no cost to me

From August to November I was able to generate more in personal income than I had made in all of 2005. I hardly worked in December and took the last 10 days of the year to concentrate on family and get recharged. I can hardly wait to get back to work. I truly love and am grateful for the work I do. I wish I could list all of the good things that happened this year, but I would lose a few people after the first 100 lines.

These things I know - “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
"And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

God will change a life that is willing. I am not a "man of great faith," nor am I anyone more special than anyone else is to God. But God is faithful, and He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6) Take an inventory of what God has been able to do with your life this past year, and be grateful for where He has taken you, where He has you, and where He is taking you. Realize you have everything you need already to let God take you beyond where you could ever hope or imagine. Believe that with God, nothing is impossible.

I wish you a very prosperous 2007 - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially.

The Christmas Story from the Barrio

2006-12-10T11:55:00.000-06:00

Reposted
Back when I was just a muchacho, they passed a law from El Rey, Cesar Augustino, that all the barrios should be registered. So we all went to our hometowns, every vato to his own barrio.

Jose also went up from L.A. back to his barrio in Bethlehem to be registered with his prometida, Maria, who was embarazada. And while they were there, it came time for her to deliver, and she had the niňo, and wrapped him like a tamale, and laid him in the back of the carro, because there was no room at the motel.

Now in the same country, all us cholos were in our parking lot, showing our lowriders and hanging out in the night. And suddenly, an angel of the Lord stood before us, and the glory of God was shining all around us, and we were big time freaked out. Then the angel said to us, “Calmate, vatos, don’t freak. Orale, I bring you buenas noticias of great joy which is for todos. Today, ese, in David’s barrio, was born a Savior, who is Cristo El Senor. And here’s how you know for sure: You will find the bebe wrapped in his ropa like a tamale, lying in the back of a ’57 Chevy.”

And suddenly the whole sky was full of grupos musicales, conjuntos, and Tejano bands with the angel, praising God, throwing gritas and singing, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward all people.” So when all the angels went back to heaven, the cholos said to each other, “Vamanos! Let’s all cruise to Bethlehem, and let’s check it out, what the Lord told us about.” And we burned rubber down there. We found Maria and Jose, and the bebe in the back of the lowrider.

When we saw Him, we all got on our cell phones and called all the gente and told them everything the angel said about the Bebe. And all the tias and mis compadres were freaked out and said, “Way cool, que suave, ese” about everything us cholos told them. Then we all cruised back to our barrios, throwing gritas, glorifying and praising God for all we had heard and seen, as it was told to us.

From the gospel according to Pauly, paraphrased from Luke 2:1-20

Holiday Stress is all Relative

2006-12-09T10:06:00.000-06:00

Is it just me, or is the holiday season (Thanksgiving through New Year's) extra-stressful because we "have" to be around people we don't really care to be around? I'm not talking about just co-workers or colleagues that make fools of themselves in social situations - I'm talking mainly about relatives, immediate or distant, that we never see or hear from all year, then suddenly they think it's OK to impose their dysfunctional lives, habits, and self-proclaimed genius on everyone else, no matter how obnoxious they may be.

There are certain types of people in the general public I just won't get very close to, trust, or allow to be a part of my life whenever they want to show up:
- drug addicts, alcohol abusers, and the chemically dependent
- thieves, liars, and the chronically obnoxious
- thugs, gangstas, and the generally-criminal in nature
- child abusers, wife beaters, and deadbeat parents

For the most part, I would never deny someone the benefit of the doubt, no matter how grievous their offense may seem to me, if they were seeking advice or help. I understand what a sinful and guilty person I have been, and am grateful for God's forgiveness. When I came to God, He forgave me and accepted me in my sinful state. He didn't wait until I cleaned up to accept me into His grace. I think anyone deserves the same forgiveness, and I try not to think of myself as better than anyone else. Consequently, I have many times reached out or opened my house, and been generous with forgiveness and even help for those who maybe didn't even deserve it.

I'm just trying to sort out my thoughts here...

How am I supposed to act/react/pro-act to someone who is loud, rude, obnoxious, or otherwise unwilling to hear any opinion, thought, or ideas other than from their own self-percieved wisdom? Is it really just my issue or perception? Do I need to adjust something here? Are there those that we should intentionally shun and not allow around us AT ALL? Is "FAMILY" more important than circumstances and uncomfortable situations? Do we entertain someone because "blood is thicker than water?" Maybe - just thinking.....

Any thoughts on this matter? Does anyone else feel this way? After all, it the holidays. Who are YOU entertaining?

I'm Kinda Cranky, but Still Thankful

2006-11-23T09:51:00.000-06:00

I've been really cranky lately, and I think I figured out why. It's complicated when all of the dynamics are examined, but to get right to the root of the issue, I can say that it comes down to "performance" issues.

Now I know the root of the problem, and I prayed this morning that God would :
- give me the grace to accept people and myself for who we are, not what we do
- help me use the wisdom to make different choices on how I react to things, and how I perceive things - and to know my perception is not what God sees
- let me have His compassion to love people, especially when they're not "performing" to my expectations
- allow me to live out and exhibit the fruit of the spirit:
that I can LOVE people, not their deeds
that I can have JOY in knowing we are His creation, made for good works in Christ
so I can have PEACE knowing God is God - and I'm not
that I can practice LONGSUFFERING and KINDNESS, and show the love of Christ
that I would practice GOODNESS in my life for His sake
that my manner would be a reflection of Christ's FAITHFULNESS
that the GENTLENESS in me would be warm and inviting to those that are hurting
and that I would practice SELF CONTROL, and keep my feelings from overwhelming my understanding of what God desires for me
- let me operate in mercy, because He's had mercy on me
- show me how to bring light and hope to those around me who are in darkness and despair.

My feelings are just feelings. I'm thankful today that I can make choices based on truth, and not my feelings.

I'm thankful that God's word is relevant to whatever situation I face.

I am thankful for my family, who love me even if I'm a cranky old man sometimes.

I'm thankful that God is helping me understand the difference between perception and reality.

I'm thankful for my church family, who encourage me and pray for me.

I'm thankful that I love my work, because I know it is helping me fulfill my purpose in life - it's not my whole purpose, but a part of living it out, and I am able to help many people.

I'm thankful for a wife that prays for me, prays with me, and loves me enough to hold me accountable.

I'm thankful for brothers in Christ, the men who love God, and are a part of my life; that ask me hard questions, counsel me when I need counsel, and help keep me accountable.

I'm thankful for you reading this blog, and I pray that I can somehow be an influence in your life, that I might encourage you, and bring hope into your life.

Typical House Church

2006-11-19T14:58:00.000-06:00

It’s Sunday morning- 10:30 a.m. Typically, we would be having our church service in our living room, but we had “church” Friday night with a group of leaders and other friends. We started the evening with fellowship (Christianese: FOOD),

A pile of kolache

An abundance of donuts

The table discussion

then moved into the living room where we had a time of confession, sharing with each other the different struggles we have as we each walk out this life of faith we proclaim. Sometimes it’s not easy, and we become convicted of the things we preach but don’t act on. Hmm…can Christians be human too?

I’m beginning to understand how much I desire, even need, a relevant church. The act of “going to church” for the sake of attending an event or to get my spiritual feeding has long passed. The time of sitting in a pew and “getting fed” is over too. The Friday night group met all the criteria for church: we met together in Jesus’ name, we broke bread together, we shared our struggles, encouraged each other, and had communion. We listened to each other and prayed for each other. Simple. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?

Communion

I made the bread for communion. The bread was made from a mix of wheat flour, tortilla mix, and Ezekeil 4:9 cereal, mixed with a little olive oil and some water, and baked for about 15 minutes. It was something we all could enjoy together, and not only was it healthy, it tasted good too. The grape juice was crushed by the feet of 2 young virgins in our church (just kidding - some guy name Welch made it).

My communion message was that at the last supper, Jesus was doing what he normally did with his disciples – having a meal. And much like any family or even a business dinner, there was discussion going on. I can imagine the 12 sitting around the dinner table with their leader. Some of the discussion may have been light, some may have been serious. No doubt (at least in my mind) there was some time for some laughing. At some point though, Jesus brought up a subject that was relevant. He reviewed the mission, and He gave instruction. He discussed the relevance of bread and wine – His body and blood – and what we were to remember when we broke bread together.

The Friday night before, we met for fellowship and to spend time with Tony and Felicity Dale, authors (Foundations of Simple Church, An Army of Ordinary People) house church leaders, and contributors to house2house.net. Rather than have a traditional meeting where Tony and Felicity might have been “center stage,” we actually all shared our hearts, about our ministries, and our passions for about an hour or so before Tony and Felicity began to facilitate the rest of the meeting. I guess they spoke for about 30 minutes and facilitated the rest of the discussion for the next hour or so. It was great. We had church – and it was relevant.

One caution we seem to get, usually from someone new, or unfamiliar with the way our meetings flow, is that we are in the same danger as the institutional church of becoming traditional. Yeah, it’s happened. We come to service with our 3 lb. bible tucked under our arm, we smile at everyone and exchange the usual, “Howyoudoin’I’mgoodthanks,” then we get our coffee and wait for someone to kick off the meeting. Of course, that always begins with someone being asked to give the opening prayer, and then we have P&W, announcements, the offering, and a message. The church that meets in my home has been careful to move away from that, and instead, we try to facilitate relevant discussion and meet people where they’re at. Much like Friday’s meeting, it flows. People share, we pray for each other, and we are encouraged. Everyone is encouraged to bring their gift to the service. If someone has a word, a song, a scripture, or a message – great! We want to hear what God is doing, where He is moving, and what He wants to speak to us. We allow anyone to speak. And God moves.

Here are some more pictures of a typical service. Although, each meeting is unique, and far from typical.

The youngest participant of the evening gets greeted by my lovely wife

And yes, she's part of the service

There's always time to laugh

This is ONE CRAZY street preacher - this guy's ministry is going into the bars and hanging out with the prostitutes and pimps on the street - and yeah, people get saved, fed, and some are given a place to stay and get straightened up. Greg had just led someone to Christ that afternoon after having a church service in an oil-change waiting lobby.

Ellen and Bob usually meet with us Sunday mornings

Why My Mom Was on The News

2006-10-12T21:40:00.000-05:00

Mom called me yesterday. With excitement in her voice, she unfolded a real-life drama of a story that happened on her block, just 2 doors down from her house - this actually made national news. She was interviewed by a reporter on the Spanish-language channel.

50 Found in Texas Home... (From Drudge Report)Mom came home from her shopping and found the block cordoned off, police cars, Border Patrol, and a Homeland Security bus there. It's a fun story to tell, but in her neighborhood - with homes that are in the Monticello Park Historic District of San Antonio - something of this magnitude was happening. And no one suspected anything.

I was writing a friend of mine who grew up with me about it. He remember my house - just 2 blocks from our high school - as a fun place to go after school. Back then all our neighbors knew each other. I remember Tim Skinner lived next door. "The Old Crow," as my Dad used to refer to her, lived on the other side of us. Dr. Richmond, his wife, and his kids, Cliff, Linda, and Louisa lived across the alley behind us. We all knew each other, talked with each other, and played with each other. Today, that's totally different.

The sad part is, it's pretty reflective of the degeneration of our society - neighborhoods are no longer places where neighbors socialize and know each other. They are merely areas of town, where busy people have a place to sleep, watch TV and eat. People are too busy or afraid to get involved - or just don't care enough to get to know their neighbors.

I've made it a point in my neighborhood to know everyone on my block. There are 15 houses on this block, and I went house to house to meet every household. No one has ever knocked on my door just to come meet us or be social - except the Jehovah's Witnesses next door. We get polite waves as people drive by, but for all they know, we could be nice people, terrorists, or manufacturing drugs.

Too bad we've "evolved" to that. How I wish I could just sit and have a beer on my porch with a neighbor once in a while...

Who do you say that I am?

2006-10-03T21:11:00.000-05:00

Jesus wept. John 11:35.

I wish there was a scripture in the New Testament that said, "Jesus laughed until his sides hurt." Surely, hanging around 12 goofy men, at least 6 of whom were sailors, He had occasion to laugh. It may not be recorded in writing, but I can't imagine a man, who was familiar with every emotion we have, that didn't spend a great deal laughing. My image of Jesus is not a stoic, bearded, long-haired man in a white robe who walked around holding His fingers in a peace sign. It's of a man who had compassion, passion, and a heart to know and feel what we feel. Surely, the 12 men He hung around did some pretty crazy crap.

Get 12 or 13 guys around a campfire on a beach, or on the side of a hill, in the woods, or in a house, and I promise, there's going to be some cutting up - even with the Son of God present. Thinking about this begs the questions found in Matthew 19:16:13-15: "Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?"So they said, "Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"

Who is Jesus to you? Peter answered, saying, "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God." That image of Jesus was not what was visible to Peter's natural eye. It was revealed to him by the Holy Spirit, as Jesus told him. What the Spirit reveals to us, He reveals to our heart, not our flesh. The image we need to have of Jesus must be an image seen with our heart.

God created us to laugh, to cry, to be angry, to be glad, to be sad, and to have exhuberant emotions. He is familiar with every facet of our person, even our fun side. Being a Christian doesn't mean we have to take ourselves so seriously all the time. Life can be quite fun, and I think God wants us to enjoy being alive, and living in His fellowship.

The Old Testament talks about God having fun:
"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."

Does that sound like a stuffy, stoic, sad-faced guy moving slowly flashing a peace sign?

Who do I look like?

2006-10-01T19:43:00.000-05:00

Melissa, over at A Variety of Fine Pickles, had this on her blog. So, for grins, I wanted to see who might be a lucky "look-alike" for my mug. My favorite is Bob Marley - too bad I cut my dreads, maybe I could fool some people. These guys are my look alikes... And they left out Sal Mineo, Sadaam Hussein, and Paul Rodriguez. I'm offended.

Headlines and comments

2006-08-22T22:33:00.000-05:00

I actually stopped writing my political blog last year, but every now and then I still like to comment on current events. Drudge Report is one of my favorite places to get news - or to lead me to news outlets. I read a lot of news on the Internet since I don't subscribe to any newspapers. I get a dozen or so trade journals every month, in addition to online subscriptions to several business news sites, but Drudge Report always has the best headlines.

Most of the time, I see an interesting headline, click on it, (what the hell) and skim the article to see if it's worth the read. Usually it's not, so I go on to the next one.

Here's some interesting headlines from today:

Blackberry addiction 'similar to drugs'...
"Crackberry" addicts are addicted to the illusion of importance - those little devices are the pocket protectors of the 21st century. Just like those Bluetooth headsets.

Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Washington Town...I just had to read that one... that's some mean 'coons...
Karr's Mother Tried to Kill Him, Family Friend Says...Even she didn't like him

Teacher Burns American Flags To Motivate Students...
Yeah - that's motivating me...

Professor Says Liberals Face A 'Fertility Gap'; Not Having 'Enough Children'...
The gene pool is diluted, er, deluded.... well anyway, that's less votes in the future - how long before they eventually become extinct?

Rap music blamed for teen pregnancy...
And all this time I thought it was because they were having unprotected sex....

But my FAVORITE headlines today were:
PARAMOUNT severs ties with Tom Cruise... Behavior of star 'unacceptable'...
big surprise... now let's axe Barbara Striesand, Charlie Sheen, Alan Alda, Pamela Anderson, Michael Moore, Spike Lee, Jane Fonda, Danny Glover, Susan Sarandon, Ben Affleck, Sean Penn, et. al.

Jon-Benet

2006-08-17T21:08:00.000-05:00

Why do we as Americans have an obsessive curiosity for details about things that are intensely private concerning the death of another family’s loved one? The tragic murder of Jon-Benet Ramsey, while shocking and sad, is, frankly, none of my business. I didn’t say “concern, “I said “business.”

My granddaughter is a year younger than she was when she was brutally murdered. Had it happened to my granddaughter instead of Jon-Benet, I would be intensely protective of any news that would be released. The MSM, in a frothed frenzy for sensational news, seem to think they have the right to broadcast personal details concerning her death, her admitted murderer, and her family. And they complain about lawyers and politicians being barracudas and wolves….

I don’t need to hear about this man’s admission of the sickening details of this poor child’s death. It literally turns my stomach when I read headlines of what he supposedly did to a 6 year-old child. If I was her grandfather or father, I would have already flown to Thailand and executed some grandfather-style justice on the creep. Then we wouldn’t be hearing all the rest of this pervert’s confessions.

I haven’t and can’t bring myself to read the news articles, when scanning the headlines tells me more than what I want to know. Drudge Report had 6 headlines linking to stories. I went to one of the news articles that had 7 links to related stories, 2 video links, and 3 more related links. I feel even worse for the family because of the invasion of privacy the MSM thinks they have a right to.

OK – all I need to know is that she was murdered, it was sickening what happened, and they caught the guy who admits he did it. Now make sure he gets what he has coming to him. Don’t publicize it – I don’t need to know all the details. Just tell me when he’s executed so I can pray her family has peace.

Interesting

2006-08-12T22:08:00.000-05:00

Out of 2509 blogs on the "Christian Top 1000," mine is the only one with the word "Beer" in the title.

What gives?

Weird Stuff That Brings People In

2006-08-12T21:58:00.000-05:00

It always amazes me some of the search keywords that bring people into my blog. Most of which I never actually write about, but happen to have the keywords in the text. These are the last 10 keyword searches:

bible study for boys on fear courage (Google)

"become an investment advisor" and cpa (Google)

bible study hard heart (Google)

FISHERS OF men artwork (Yahoo)

Bible Study on being refreshed (Google)

seinfeld bible study (Yahoo)

barbeque for 40 people (Google)

five fold ministry in tucson (Google)

20 something mens bible study (Google)

Cool Men's Bible Study Cards (Yahoo)

Hmm…

Here are the weird ones though:
bible chicano glory (Google)
(I had a pastor that used to call me the “Chicano glory”)

chihuahua dingo (Google)
(What the h……???? What exactly are they looking for? Is there really such an animal?)

"my daughter's panties" (Google)
(Sick bastard…I hope you at least learned something when you dropped in.)

barrio bebe lowrider (Yahoo)
(Imagine that…)

And probably the one that’s the weirdest…
flyers Bible Study liberal (Google)
(I have NO freakin’ idea…)

What level of faith do we need?

2006-08-04T10:50:00.000-05:00

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."Matthew 17:20

I'm of the opinion that it is not GREAT faith that moves mountains - at least not OUR great faith...Rather, God's great faith.

I was thinking this morning that when it comes to faith, my role is to simply believe that God can do something, and then watch Him do it. My faith is in what God can do and it doesn't matter how much I can't do. (OK, a bunch of analyticals just blew a gasket on that one.) What I mean is, if my level of faith is based on what I know is possible for God, then all I have to do is believe He can and will do it and He will act according to what His will is. I don't always know His plan, but I do know this:

“ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater"
Isaiah 55:8-10

My fears, uncertainties, and insecurities, although real emotions, are second to the truth. God has my best in mind.

Stuff Happens

2006-08-02T23:14:00.000-05:00

And when it does, we just have to go through it.

We can't control what's not in our control. We can't force life to do what we want all the time.

Life is not perfect.

We just have to do like we always have, and trust God that He'll get us through.

And He does.

Because we really don't have control.

I'm Thankful for...

2006-07-30T21:43:00.000-05:00

God's providence and protection over our son and grandson who were in a serious auto accident this past Saturday.
That the injuries, although serious, were not life-threatening
The surgeons who operated on our son in three places, who are skilled and did their best to repair a lot of damage.
That there was no other damage; internally, or to the brain
Three successful surgeries that went extremely well
That our grandson, even though he sustained two fractures- his hip and his ankle- got up from bed on his own today and was released
Our friends, Bob and Ellen, who came to the hospital Saturday and took us to dinner. That was some real ministry that met a practical need
All those who prayed
All those who came to see the boys in the ER and again today
God's grace to heal some emotional and spiritual hurts in my relationship with my son
Words that were spoken in love
my wife, who is such a trooper....

"He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone." Psalm 91, 11-12

Things I wonder about

2006-07-24T22:39:00.000-05:00

Why do people think they look cool with one of those Bluetooth things in their ear?

Why do I want to flick that little Bluetooth thingy every time I see one?

Why do people who aren’t all that important think they have to carry on a cell phone conversation- loudly - in public- and that somehow makes them look important?

I wish I had a device to electronically disable the cell phone of someone who is rudely and boorishly carrying on a conversation in front of me, holding up the line, when they should be focused instead on what they’re doing and not hold up the line.

Why do people with ghetto-bass in their car think I want to hear it too?

I wish I had a remote device that would turn up the bass on someone’s already-too-loud car speakers so loud, that it would permanently fry their system.

Why do people with a little fish decal on the back of their car drive like hell?

Why do people drive slow in the left lane on the highway when every ¼ mile there is a sign that says “Left Lane for Passing Only?”

I wish I had one of those lighted marquis signs in my back windshield so I could send messages to those people.

Why do liberals have long toes?

Why do 40 year old men think a goatee looks cool on them?

Why are there always huge people driving little bitty cars?

Why do people on a diet eat cottage cheese? I only see fat people eating it.

Why can a skinny guy eat two triple bacon cheeseburgers, large fries, and a 44 oz chocolate shake for lunch 4 times a week?

And eat Ding-Dongs and drink Dr. Pepper all day?

And never gain weight?

Why do homeless people always have money for cigarettes?

Why do women with large rears wear stretch pants?

Why is Dr. Z and Taylor Hicks on every 3rd commercial? I think we got it...

Am I the only one who thinks Taylor Hicks dances like Elaine Bennis on "Seinfeld?"

And I was getting so close to the end...

2006-07-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

Just as I thought I was getting to the end of the Internet (yes, I was getting very close - I only had a few more webpages to read...), the smarty cats at RIPE develop IPv6 and add another

340,282,366,920,938,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 new web addresses .

That's 340 undecillion, 282 decillion, 366 nonillion, 920 octillion, 938 septillion, for you numerophobes out there. Seems like 4 billion just wasn't quite enough, seeing as there's 6 billion global neighbors, and what's going to happen when all those third world countries get online?

To put it in something we might be able to imagine, here's a perspective on what a billion might be. I once saw $1million in $20 bills. It was a stack roughly 3 feet high, and about 4' x 4'. A billion $ would be 1000 of those. And those were $20 bills... I can't imagine $1 bills....

1 million seconds was 11.5 days ago
1 billion seconds ago was the year 1975

1 million minutes was 1.9 years ago
1 billion minutes ago was the year 104 AD

1 million days ago was 733 BC
1 billion days was 2,739,726 years ago

A billion is hard to imagine...Even less, I can't imagine a undecillion, or how much space that will create on the World Wide Web.

Surely there's a spiritual lesson in that - maybe relate it to the infiniteness of God... I remember doing a study once on the vastness of the known universe - and that blew my mind. Our Sun is 92,955,820 miles away. And our sun is close...comparatively. Just in the known universe, travelling at the speed of light, 186,282.397 miles per second, it would take between 46 and 78 billion years to reach the edges of what we know to be the universe. OK, I'll stop... As I was excitedly relaying this to my wife last night at around 11:00 p.m., her comment to me was, "You're a nerd!"

So if that makes you feel small and insignificant, think about this - In all of the heavens, God created this little speck of cosmic dust we live on, then created man in His own image to populate the Earth. Considering the scope of the heavens, and all that was created, after man sinned, God could have just flicked that little dust particle out of space and started all over. Yet, He sent His only begotten Son to forgive His creation, man, so that we could live forever with Him in eternity.

That really blows my mind.

Some House Church Pictures

2006-07-09T13:15:00.000-05:00

Last week we had about 40 people in our house for church. Someone asked me prior to church that morning, "How are you going to fit all those people in your house?" "One at a time," I replied.

They all fit.

Last week the church from Killeen came to meet with us. While it is always nice to have a larger group, the worship time, and a good message to hear, I enjoy the close fellowship of a smaller group.This week we only had 8 attend, including 2 kids. The smaller the group, the more intimate the fellowship, and the more each one gets to share.

Here are some pictures of the larger meeting last week.

Roman & Tanya and Becky lead worship

Worship time

Sharing time

Jim, Sheridan, and Bobby

Pastor Phillip preaching

I will post more pics soon at the Association of Home Churches website.

I want to invite you to come Sunday morning and take part in our service. Today we all shared about God meeting us where we are. I shared the previous post with everyone and we discussed Ephesians 1: 6-12, and Eph. 4: 7, 11-17. We believe the "five-fold" gifts of Eph 4:11 are present within the body of believers, not just in one person, i.e, "The Pastor." God gives each one of us a unique gift, in order that we can use it to encourage each other, thereby equipping each other for the work of the ministry (encouraging those that need hope), and strengthening the body so that growth can occur. If you need help, encouragement, prayer, or want to offer some, please consider joining us Sunday mornings. But don't wait until then - call me or write me during the week. After all, it's really about developing relationships through Christ with each other. That's what church is about - so that we see God meet us where we are.

Where are you Spiritually?

2006-07-09T09:42:00.000-05:00

Did you know that God wants to meet you right now? Right where you are- He'll meet you no matter what you're state of readiness or spiritual condition is. We don't have to do anything to recieve His grace except open our hearts to accept it. God is always ready to hear your prayer, and to respond. We can never make ourselves good enough, worthy enough, or ready enough for His grace. It's just GRACE - unmerited favor - that we recieve from Him. He is the one who is always ready, and He waits for us to open our hearts and give Him the opportunity to spend a moment with us. Yes, He loves us that much, no matter what we've done, where we've been, or why we haven't opened ourselves to Him before.

The 1st chapter of the letter to the Ephesian church tells us He chose us first - predestined us to become His sons and daughters. That's good news. Not just that, but the bible goes on to say that

He made us accepted in the Beloved.
He has reclaimed us by paying the debt of the weight of our sins by sending Jesus Christ as the sacrifice for us
He forgave our sins, even though we don't deserve forgiveness, it is by His goodness
He makes known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure
when it's all over, He'll gather us all together with Christ
We have that inheritance, which He predestined us with

Eph. 1: 6-12

Kansas Bob

2006-07-05T21:21:00.000-05:00

Kansas Bob is a frequent commentor on here. He also gets the prize for being my 5000th hit on this blog! You win, Kansas Bob! You get the big prize!

You win a free link to your blog and a lifetime membership to read this blog anytime you want!

Ya'll check out Kansas Bob at his blog,

An Eye For Redemption

Drop in on him and read his insightful blog, and give him a big HOWDY from this site.

Thanks, KB!

Faith, Courage, and Opportunity

2006-06-30T07:48:00.000-05:00

1 After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, it came to pass that the LORD spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying: 2 “Moses My servant is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel. 3 Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given you, as I said to Moses. 4 From the wilderness and this Lebanon as far as the great river, the River Euphrates, all the land of the Hittites, and to the Great Sea toward the going down of the sun, shall be your territory. 5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:1-9 (NKJV)

I was thinking this morning about opportunity. How many times do we have opportunity, and we fail to seize it? How many times do we see opportunity, and we think it's too much, and we fear, because it overwhelms us? Or how many times do we simply miss opportunity because we are out of position, not prepared, out of shape, or anemic?

I have had missed opportunities all my life, for all of the above reasons. All of a sudden though, here I am, almost 49 years of age, and God continues to lay opportunity before me. And all of a sudden, I realize my whole life has been a preparation for this moment. The book of Joshua opens with Israel, which had been in the desert for 40 years, at the doorstep of Canaan, the promised land. I'm not sure how old Joshua was - perhaps he was near my age, perhaps a little older. Nevertheless, God had prepared him for this very moment, as he had been in training as Moses' successor for many years. He was no longer the understudy or the assistant; he was now the leader.

I realize I am now in a similar position. I no longer have a manager or a leader, and I am now at the doorstep of my promised land. And there are giants in the land, and the people are strong - the cities are fortified and very large. The clusters of grapes are so large it takes two people to carry them. But I see a land I am able to take - one that is "exceedingly good" (Num 14:7), and one that the Lord will give me.

I find it interesting that the charge and promise God gave to Joshua, "Go...be strong and courageous... I will be with you...I will not leave you nor forsake you...," was given because God knew Joshua had already seen, and had previously declared, "...do not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread.. the Lord is with us. Do not fear them." (Num 14:9) Joshua already had faith; not in himself, but in the Lord. He was prepared - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. He was not intimidated by the size of the opportunity, the people, or the land. And he was not discouraged by everyone else's whining.

God honors faith - even more so, His faith meets ours and increases it exponetially. He allows us to do things others deemed impossible. He lets us see what everyone else declares too big, too overwhelming, or too strong, and declare it "exceedingly good."

Friends, I've made a decision - a choice - to declare the land in front of me as "exceedingly good," and I will not fear what others have reported before me. I will not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are my bread; their protection has departed from them, and the Lord is with me. I will not fear them.

Is there an opportunity before you right now? I can assure you, right now, you have either just missed an opportunity, or you are at the doorstep of one, or you are in the land, seizing the opportunity. I would encourage you, do not fear; the Lord is with you. Lay hold of that opportunity and enjoy what God has for you.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Conquering Fear and the Performance Trap

2006-06-21T20:43:00.000-05:00

About a month or so ago, I had a revelation that was life-changing. This revelation came about as the product of about a 3 year bad mood. When I learned my father had terminal cancer, I started hating everyone and everything. I began to cut people off, and distance myself from friends, family, and anyone who I was remotely close to. I became a loner, and I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.

This was hard to do, considering the fact that I worked in the public, was a member of several community committees, and ministered at church. Outwardly, I maintained a façade, but inwardly, I was totally separated; detached from my surroundings. Anytime I was around people, I could hardly wait to get away from them, and I cherished moments when I was totally alone - not having to talk to anyone, or deal with personalities, issues, or anything of substance.

For the most part, I was nice, continued to smile and function in a “normal” manner. People had no clue what was brewing inside of me. Even those I am somewhat close to had, at best, only a vague idea of my condition, and probably attributed my sudden seriousness to my having to deal with a sick parent. Even now, if I mention this mood to someone who was around me during that time, they would look at me like I was nuts, because no one knew.

My change actually began sometime around February, when I left my last firm. I met a man on the racquetball court, John Garcia, who asked me, “So what do you do?” Rather than the standard reply of, I’m a stockbroker,” I took my time to think about what it is that I really do. It was a challenge to me, but freeing to tell someone that I help people grow their assets, save on taxes, and maximize their retirement incomes. For once in my life, I understood I was more than just a stock order taker….more than just a mutual fund sale person… more than just a financial planner. His reply to me was, “That’s fantastic! We need more people like that!”

I found out he is a motivational speaker, an author, a cancer survivor, and a Christian. I made an immediate connection with John, and that day, I knew my life had changed. I woke up the next morning and decided I was not going to be in a bad mood any more. Three years was long enough.

As I opened myself up to the scary prospect of enjoying my life again, I also began to pray in a different direction. I began to ask the Lord for peace. I began to ask him to change me, and get me out of the trap I had been in for so long. I actually realized the direction I had taken and the path I was on was leading me nowhere. I also saw that I had been in a pattern of self-destruction by isolating myself, and that was not healthy.

Not long after that, I met another person who helped me see even more. Here’s the part about the revelation – I made an appointment with a Life Coach, Bobby, who writes at Kingdom Life Coaching Resources. (Well worth reading this blog daily…) We met one morning at my kitchen table, over a couple of pots of coffee. As we spoke, he asked me some direct questions about faith and fear. I realized all of my life had been motivated by fear: fear of performing well enough to make myself look good – for my father, my teachers, my bosses, my wife, my kids, my church…yada yada yada… I came to the understanding that all of my 48 years I had struggled with the fear of someone finding out that maybe I really wasn’t who I appeared to be. Since things came so easily to me, I always felt like I was “lucky” or cut corners – and if people really knew who I was, or what I had done to get there – that they wouldn’t like me, or they would think less of me.

There is a scripture that says, “We are God’s workmanship, created for good works in Christ.” Back in 60’s and 70’s, in the era of “Jesus Freaks,” there was a saying that went, “God didn’t make junk.” We are created by a perfect God, who endowed us with purpose, power, and provision. We don’t need to perform. All we need to do is “BE.”

One of the good things that came out of my “funk” is that I discovered I have a purpose. It is multi-faceted, but amazingly simple. God created me to GIVE –whether it be through my writing, my painting, my sculpture, my mechanical ability, or my knowledge of financial planning, He created me to give.

He also created me to LOVE. I realized (this all happened that one morning, inside of 2 hours over 2 pots of coffee) the reason I didn’t like people all my life is because I didn’t really like myself. I was disappointed in myself, and perpetuated a cycle of self-destructive behavior and habits that just created shame and guilt. I lived with the fear of “being outed.” So I kept people at a distance, justifying it with a self-righteous and critical attitude. Once I accepted the fact that Jesus loves me just where I am, I began to pray for compassion. And God healed my hard heart, allowed me to have a heart of compassion, and set me free.

Finally, He created me to fulfill my purpose. Not through PERFORMANCE, as I had tried in the past, but through FAITH in the knowledge that Christ put everything in me to fulfill that purpose, and He gives me the power to make it happen. Also, when I operate in FAITH, I no longer have to FEAR, because God loves me, no matter what.

For the first time in 48 years, I actually LIKE people – even more so, I LOVE people, and am willing to listen to them, because that’s who God made me to be.

Happy Father's Day - reposted

2006-06-18T16:27:00.000-05:00

REPOSTED

These things I remember about my dad:
He taught me how to enjoy life with a good sense of humor
He had the best corny jokes
He was not afraid to be sensitive
He challenged me without pushing me
He was proud of me
He encouraged me to work hard and enjoy the rewards
He let me try new things and mess up on my own, but then he showed me how to get back on track without doing it for me
He taught me not to take things at face value, but to look things up myself if I wanted to know for sure
He took an interest in my schoolwork
He showed me how to use a slide rule (I'm providing a link because someone - a 20-something - I was talking to didn't know what a slide rule was)
He taught me how to reason and had a better way to solve math problems than the way the book was trying to show me
He could do complex calculations in his head
He was at all the band functions and always told me he had a good time
He loved my mom
He loved to bring her flowers
He helped me learn all my knots in Boy Scouts
He showed me how to set up a tent
He showed me how to start a good fire
He took us camping every summer
He cooked a mean brisket
He told each one of us that we were his favorite son/daughter (and he meant it)
He was more concerned about his impact than an impression
He cared about his profession and taught hundreds of men and women professional courses
He took life seriously but he could joke about anything
He had an opinion about everything
He let you know his opinions
He was the only one alive that could beat me in Scrabble (hahaha, Margie, you never will!!!)
He did the hardest crossword puzzles in ink
He taught me it was OK to be smarter than my teachers (well, I WAS)
He always dressed better than anyone else in the room
He had the coolest ties
He wore black silk pajamas after his surgery
He never let on that he was sick
He fought to the end
He died with a smile

I loved my dad, and I miss him deeply. He was my mentor and my friend, and I will always have his impression on my life. He didn't always do everything right (he would argue with me on that) but he did everything the best way he could.
I've recently learned some things about myself because of the close relationship I had with him. I wish he was still here, because there's so much I would still like to ask him. The problem is, I took so much for granted when he was here. Even though I knew for at least 6 months that his condition would lead to his death, I didn't spend near enough time with him to ask everything I needed to. Some things went to the grave with him, and I'll have to figure them out myself.
Happy Father's Day, Dad... I miss you.

Update: 2006 - Another year has passed since my dad left to be with the Lord. ALthough I still miss him, the pain of his death has been easier to bear. I've grown in these last 2 years, and I realize how precious and short this life is. I am understanding how important it is to have strong relationships with other men who can encourage me, bless me, and keep me accountable. And I am relying more and more upon the voice of my Father, God to lead me through this life. I thank God for the relationship I had with my dad while he was alive, but even more for the relationship we both have with Him. Happy Father's Day to you dads out there - Kansas Bob, Matt, Bobby - and all you guys that encourage me.

It's that time of year again

2006-06-07T21:59:00.000-05:00

This is Texas…and it’s not even summer yet. Yep – hot weather, rattlesnakes, and cold Shiner Bock. I guarantee you can feel every degree of that heat. It was every bit of 100 deg. F today.

I love it.

Jimmy the Boss, Guido, and Little Ray

2006-06-03T08:43:00.000-05:00

reposted

Pete came to JC and asked, “Lord, how much slack do I cut my brother and let him backstab me over and over? The dude’s pushed my buttons seven times already, ain’t that enough?" JC took a breath and told him, "You ain’t even close, little bro, try it another 500 times. Let me tell you what it’s like, man, if you’re gonna walk this walk. There was a man named Jimmy the Boss and he was out collecting his accounts. Guido had a meeting with the Boss, and he was nervous, because he owed the Boss some serious coin: close to 100 grand, and he couldn’t pay. He’d been ducking him for a while, but now it was crunch-time. He was trying to figure out a way to ask the Boss for a little time, but even then, he knew the debt was too large.
When the Boss showed up, Guido was pretty edgy, because the Boss had some of the other family with him. “Let’s take a little ride,” said one of the Boss’s men, holding open the limo’s door. Guido got in, and as the door shut behind him, the limo took off. There he was, face to face with the Boss, who was preparing to deal with one of his most faithful men in his organization.
“So whatabout the cash, Guido? It’s over a year’s pay for you. Since you can’t pay, you know what I gotta do. It’s strictly business, Guido, it’s not personal.” The Boss ordered cement shoes for Guido, and then to have his family picked up to settle the debt. Guido fell on his knees, kissed the Boss’s ring and begged, “Give me a little more time, Boss, and I’ll pay every dime. You know I’m good for it.”
Jimmy the Boss was soft on Guido, so he told his boys to let him go, and then told Guido. “Fugetaboudit…someday I may need to ask a favor of you.” So Guido split and found Little Ray Smalls, who owed him about fifty bucks. He knocked Little Ray in the knees and said, “Pay up, you loser!” Little Ray fell on the ground, kissed Guido’s hand and begged for mercy, just as Guido had done. But he would not have mercy and ordered his boys to break his fingers until he could pay his debt. When his boys saw what he was doing, they went and ratted Guido out to Jimmy the Boss.
So the Boss had Guido picked up again, and said, “You ain’t right, Guido, I cut you slack because you showed me respect, and this is what you do to Little Ray? The Boss cut Guido off right there and ordered his men to work him over until he paid back all that was due.
That’s how it is, Pete. You ain’t gonna get no slack if you can’t cut your brother no slack."
(Paraphrased, Matthew 18:21-35)

This is a story that centers on three things: forgiveness, mercy, and remembering where we came from. I wonder why Peter came and asked this question of Jesus. What was going on with him? Who had offended him? Or, was it just a hypothetical question? But Jesus went to the heart of the matter quickly, telling Peter, the kingdom of heaven is like this…
The story itself is a paradox. Why, we wonder, does a man who has just been forgiven of a huge debt, turn right around and not show mercy from someone who used the same course of begging for mercy as he did, and for a much smaller amount? Looking at it from the third person, we may even be indignant and judgmental of this servant. Yet, in reality, many times we are guilty of doing this very thing. We tend to want judgment for others and mercy for ourselves.
We forget we were once lost, apart from God, and had to ask forgiveness and mercy. We are offended by the lost people around us, and even worse, our Christian brothers and sisters. It’s been said that the “Army of God” is the only army that regularly shoots its own soldiers. The bickering and backbiting in the church is a disgrace, and it’s no wonder that the world wonders where the hope is. It’s interesting that Peter asked about forgiving a “brother” who offended him.
The principle of “seventy times seven” is not a formula to give us a limit on the number of times someone can offend us before we don’t have to any more. Forgiveness, by its nature means we no longer hold the offense against the offender any longer. So, in a sense, technically, it is as if he had never sinned or offended us. Isn’t that how God handles our sin when we confess and ask for mercy?
I think though, that the master in this story probably was wise enough to not ever trust the servant with such a large account again, and might not have allowed further credit unwisely, unless he was again willing to lose it all. We need to exercise wisdom in forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean we just blindly trust the offender again, at least not until the offender can rebuild trust. In other words, we may forgive an abuser, but not allow that person back to cause more abuse. That’s another issue.
God’s grace was enough to forgive my sin, as great as it has been. Who am I to hold judgment on another for something less than I did to offend God?

Blessings

2006-05-31T11:44:00.000-05:00

20 things I have been blessed with recently

An office I don’t have to pay (cash) rent for

An inherited client

My granddaughter telling me, “I love you”

My dog being healed

Lobster instead of beans

A place to display my artwork

Not having to drive to Austin to pick something up – it was delivered to me

Money in the bank

2 new friends

A good night’s sleep

Good health

A reliable racquetball partner

A lower phone bill this month

A lower insurance bill this month

All of my business expenses paid for – phone, business cards, stationery, furniture…

A deeper understanding of who I am

Getting my glasses fixed

An old acquaintance from almost 30 years ago getting in touch with me

Selling an old book I had in my file cabinet

A professional photo of me I didn’t have to pay for

I was challenged to come up with a list of 20 ways God is blessing me right now. That’s my list. Can you think of 20 things too?

2 more crosses

2006-05-27T14:12:00.000-05:00

Here's 2 more I just finished. The detail in the first one is hard to see because my camera isn't that good. The vine, outline of the leaves, and lettering is all raised acrylic paint. The grapes are actually red marbles, and no, they don't light up...that was just from the flash...

Acrylic and colored marbles on wood
(30" ' x 23") $75

Colored stones on painted wood, with aluminum clef
No Longer For Sale

Some new crosses

2006-05-25T10:53:00.000-05:00

I made some new crosses recently and took some pictures of them for the record. I have a lot of fun making these - I forget about everything else when I am working on my art.

Click on any picture for a larger image
Stained glass pieces on wood
(20" x 17")
$75

Blue broken glass on wood
(20" x 17")
$50

Green broken glass on wood
(20"x 17")
$50

Wrought Iron, painted
(17" x 8 1/2")
$25

All of these are handmade from weathered, unfinished wood fence slats, suitable for covered outdoor display. They're currently all in a retail gallery and for sale. Contact me if interested. I also make custom designed crosses, both hanging and free-standing.

Blessings, Miracles, Abundance, and Answers to Prayer

2006-05-16T21:16:00.000-05:00

In the past few days, there have been many amazing things happen. I believe God has done some incredible things concerning me.

Someone I met a few months back when my regular racquetball partner didn't show up just happened to be the CEO of a credit union I just finished negotiating a deal with to become their investment advisor. Their board approved the proposal I submitted, and today I had lunch with him and my broker/dealer at a nice restaurant downtown to iron out some of the details. I start there June 1st.
I got a call from my CPA yesterday telling me he found a $500 overpayment to the IRS due to a wrong amount due they placed on an amended return. I signed a letter today to get my overpayment back with interest.
A friend of mine asked me if I needed any food. I said, "Sure," and he gave me 3 lbs. of lobster tails, several pounds of shrimp, alfredo sauce, crab sauce, shrimp scampi, fried shrimp, fish, and a couple of pounds of snow crab legs.
My broker/dealer told me today they would pay for my Series 66 exam and registration to become an Investment Advisor Representative. I had been holding off pending a good commission check because of the expense.
I "inherited" a client who is investing a substantial sum of money monthly into his investment account, and he asked me about purchasing more. I'll be working with him to help manage his investment accounts.

I was talking to a friend of mine today, and just letting him know how much God has done, far beyond what I asked or expected. I told him my last steady paycheck was on February 15th, and although things have been tight, God has provided everything we needed. (Not everything we WANTED...) "Neither one of us has lost any weight, either," I quipped. And not just that, but when God provided food, it sure as heck wasn't BEANS. It was quite a feast of seafood. I didn't ASK my broker/dealer to pay for my registration, it was offered to me. And the client I inherited called me because his prior investment rep told him his assets were not enough for him to work with.

I remember a pastor that used to say, "God is El Shaddai, the Lord, our Provider, He's not El Cheapo." God truly does hear us in our distress, and He loves us enough not only to give us what we need, but in abundance, and beyond what we ask or expect.

Happy Mother'sDay

2006-05-14T08:28:00.000-05:00

My 2 favorite women and me

A Mother's Love
Helen Steiner Rice

A Mother's love is something that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence of
God's tender guiding hand.

My mom sacrificed a great deal for us. Besides being pregnant for the first 10 years of her marriage, she made a few major moves - some all by herself since my dad was busy with his Air Force career. She moved from San Antonio - her home - a newlywed, away from her family and all that was familiar to her - to Lincoln, NB. And then moved with a newborn just 6 months after I was born, to Wichita Falls, TX. Within the next 6 years she had 4 kids, and moved us all - by herself - to Loan AFB, France to join my dad in Europe. A year later we were in Germany, and she had 2 more kids. With 6 of us now, and my youngest sister still an infant, we all moved back to the states to Indiana for a year before dad retired.

Another year later, we were all piled in a station wagon for a cross country trip to Texas, where they eventually settled. I was 10, and my youngest sister was only 1. She put up with the crying, my sister getting carsick, my brother wetting his clothes, and all of us doing what a pack of kids do when they're cooped up in a tight space for a few days. She never let on to us that she was stressed. She was a picture of perfection and grace. She honored my dad, took care of all of us, and just loved us.

Mom never worked outside the home while we were growing up. None of us were "latchkey" kids. She was always home when we got home from school. She made us snacks. She cooked us good dinners, helped us with our homework, made sure we were all clean, fed, and rested when we settled down for the night. And we never heard her complain. If anyone could ever push her buttons, it was me. The only time I ever remember her losing her cool was when I was being a total rebellious ass over the dinner table. My dad hadn't gotten home yet, and I was really being a little shit and not letting up. In front of all my siblings, mom picked up the entire salad bowl full of salad, and chunked it at me. That wasn't the worst part - she saved that for when my dad got home. I must have really gone over the edge to get my mom to lose her cool like that. I remember dad's lecture that night: "Son, there's 3 things you never mess with - a man's car, a man's money, and a man's wife." Total fear.

Mom was my dad's faithful partner for 48 years before he died. She was holding his head when he took his last breath. She loved him to the most she could give. Mom is still there when I go "home." Our relationship has gone to another level, a deeper one, and for that I am grateful. It's still a comfort to head "home" and know she's there, tending her garden, cooking something, or just being Mom. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you.

What Do I Want From Church?

2006-05-14T08:22:00.000-05:00

“I've realized something about 'church': I'm not interested.”

Read What Do I Want From Church? on the Association of Home Churches Website.

About Home Church

2006-05-04T17:28:00.000-05:00

Reposted

There's a lot being written about home church, and a lot of questions/curiosity on the subject. It seems, though, that few are actually willing to jump out there and see what it's really all about. There are plenty of fellowships available, if one would take the time to seek them out. There's also the option of actually starting one in your own home, if you dare. Real live preacher had a post, If We Could Do Church, and I replied to one of the commenters. The question of legitimacy was raised:

"Not to be flippant, but it if a "church" like this is legitimate, then what about a
church of one? Is a church of one still a church? I think you're sliding down a
slippery slope there."

Here was my answer:

My greatest spiritual growth has been made in the last 14 years meeting in groups of as little as 2 and sometimes greater than 100, mostly in homes, but the for the larger groups in the past we have rented a banquet room at a hotel, or met out at the lake.
Legitimate? Only when our meeting/fellowship meet to glorify God and build the faith of those in attendance. Have we done that with only 2 people present? yes. Have we missed it with 50 people present? maybe. Maybe it was just me. The point is, that wherever 2 or more are gathered in Jesus' name, He is there. And when we know His presence, and we honor that with our words, deeds, and worship, we've had church.
We don't have a paid pastor, but rather, a plurality of leadership. Worship is open for anyone to participate and offer a song, psalm, a word of encouragement, a prophecy... even a sermon, if that's been led by the Spirit. In short, we have adopted the "priesthood of the believer," and recognize, even encourage the use of whatever gifts God has given someone. Is it always a perfect service? No. But we're open to allow the Holy Spirit change us, admonish us, and even correct us.
A church of one? Well, that may be pushing it, since the purpose of a church involves "the assembling of yourselves together," and corporate worship is intended for the glory of God, the edification of the body, and the teaching of doctrine. The five-fold ministry is not intended to be present only in the pastor, or leader of the group. It was given to the body of believers for prophecy, evangelism, aposotlic ministry, pastoring and teaching. It requires a body of believers to carry out the "perfecting of the saints, the work of the ministry, and the edifying of the body of Christ." So one person, although said person may be able to have a powerful worship time alone with God, is not a church by himself. We are designed for relationship, and the body of Christ is fashioned to be dependent on interdependent relationships with God and each other.Just as I believe that the instiutional church has legitimacy, so I believe that the smaller fellowships such as home churches, be it 2 or 100, have the same legitimacy...as long as the body is functioning as the body of Christ, and not just meeting for the sake of meeting, or to meet the overhead.

Note:
Our Church has a new web page: Association of Home Churches. We just started posting stuff there, so bear with us as we build the site. Stop by and visit! If you have questions or comments regarding home church, I'd like to answer them in an article on the new web site.

Getting Stoned

2006-05-03T22:48:00.000-05:00

Stoned. What a way to die. The 8th chapter of the Gospel according to John tells the story of a woman caught in adultery, who was dragged in front of the Temple where Jesus was teaching by the religious fanatics of the day. The scribes and Pharisees knew the law, and were self righteous enough to know how to keep the law. Not unlike many Christians of today, and certainly not unlike my self-righteous attitudes at times, they dragged her in front of Jesus to justify their self-righteousness. The bible uses the term “tested” him, or pierazo (Greek) which literally means, “…to explore, test, try, assay, examine, prove, attempt, or tempt. The word describes the testing of the believer’s loyalty, strength, opinions, disposition, condition, faith, patience, or character. Pierazo determines which way one is going and what one is made out of.” (Strong’s #3985)
So they tested him. Why? Were they truly seeking the truth, or looking for an answer from Jesus? No, they were also looking to justify their own self-righteousness.

Don’t we have the same attitude sometimes? We know the law, or we have an idea about what the scripture says concerning _______(fill in the blank – the way someone dresses, gossip, adultery, cussing, tattoos, etc., etc., etc.). We all of a sudden become self righteous and decide to judge. We justify our judgment with scripture, all the while forgetting our own sinful state. Instead of wanting to restore someone in sin, we look for a rock to throw it at them. We want judgment for others while expecting mercy for ourselves.

This past weekend Linda and I led another Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat for 4 women. Rachel’s Vineyard is a weekend retreat for those seeking spiritual and emotional healing from a past abortion. It is a time for those seeking healing to deal with the sin, receive and give forgiveness and restoration, and give dignity and honor to the child or children they lost to abortion. This weekend 8 babies were named, memorialized, and given dignity in a resurrection service.

One of the exercises involved carrying a stone (representing an area of unforgiveness or needed healing) until we could release it, as the Lord led. I carried my stone less than 24 hours before Linda and I both threw them in the lake. In addition to ministering to the ladies, we received some healing in our marriage. Carrying the stone and then letting it go was an act of giving up our right to have been offended and actually forgiving that person we held that offense against. It was a powerful reminder to let go of our self-righteous attitudes.

Got a stone you want to throw? If you’re sinless, go ahead and cast it. As for me, I’ll just leave it on the ground.
See also:
[The Abortion Recovery Process and God's Grace]

[More on Recovery]

Yes, I am still alive

2006-04-15T11:43:00.000-05:00

I am reminded of a quote from one of my favorite speakers, John Maxwell, who says, "The road to the next level is always uphill." I can't believe it's been so long since I posted on here, and I apologize to those who read regularly.

Moving to another level is hard. When I decided to leave the comfort and security of a guaranteed salary, an office, a computer, phone, and pretty much everything paid for - for a commission-only-I-pay-for-everything-now occupation, I had some idea of how hard it would be to get things moving. It has been 2 months now, and I am just beginning to create some momentum.

Motion creates friction - forward motion is always met with force and resistance that is always much greater in the beginning than it is once motion is in progress. Romans 5: 3-4 tells us, "...but we also glory in tribulations (Great affliction, trial, or distress; suffering; an experience that tests one's endurance, patience, or faith), knowing that tribulation produces perseverance (Steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness); and perseverance, character (moral or ethical strength); and character, hope (the theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help)."

It's difficult to see sometimes beyond our circumstances. Sometimes positive things appear so far away when we are surrounded with adversity. I wish I could say that being a Christian makes things easier to go through, or that because of Christ, I always stand faithful and remain positive. Or that being a Christian means that I am never weak in faith. On the contrary, the weakness of my faith is why I need so much to rely on the One who is the root of my faith, and who remains faithful, even through my circumstances. God is not demanding the strength of a thousand warriors to get me through. He is looking for faith "the size of a mustard seed" to move the mountains of my circumstances.

My weakness is what makes God strong - and the evidence is when mountains are moved, and seemingly impossible circumstances are changed for the better. Thank God for grace - it's what gets us through.

Some Very Simple Facts of Life

2006-03-07T07:59:00.000-06:00

I was a winner from conception - 1,000,000 sperm all racing for the same egg, and I beat them all out. God made me a winner. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations." Jer 1:5

I was born with and have a purpose. "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Eph 2: 10

My past is my past, and God does not use my past to determine my future. "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace." Eph 1:7

I am God's son. "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name." John 1: 12

My daily prayer has been:

Today I choose life and not death.
Today I choose good and not evil.
Today I choose favor and not rejection.
Today I choose right and not wrong.
Today I choose blessings and not curses.

I have every right to walk in the blessing, joy, and peace of the Lord. I ask you, Lord, to help me keep my focus on You. Help me to walk in the steps You ordained for me today. Help me to walk in the Spirit, and not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. Keep my eyes from things that are unprofitable to me. Fill me with Your grace, Your mercy, and Your kindness. Let me walk in and fill my purpose for today. Amen.

Where I am is Not Where I am Going

2006-03-04T20:33:00.000-06:00

Here's what's going on:

1. I am tired of being poor
2. I am tired of thinking small
3. I am tired of blaming my circumstances, others, and even myself for my predicament
4. I am doing something major to change all this
5. I am getting back in focus

I realized that God has been working in my life these past few years, in spite of myself. He has continued to connect me with people that have been, are, and will be instrumental in my success. God gave me a vision years ago of me helping many people be successful. He gave me a heart not only to help others, but to help them succeed in life. He gave me a heart to add value to other people, organizations, and groups.
I am on the verge of something HUGE. I believe I am being reconnected, re-energized, and refreshed in that vision. My network all of a sudden grew by leaps and bounds just this past few days, and I'll be writing more about this in the months to come. I'm excited, because the fire is coming back.

This is What a Little Cotton Picker Can Do

2006-02-18T18:54:00.000-06:00

My dad was an extremely articulate and intelligent guy. He was a stickler for the English language, and its correct usage. It used to frustrate me that when he checked my homework, no matter what subject, he always insisted on me using correct grammar and spelling. Having grown up extremely poor and on “the other side of the tracks,” he was determined to excel and outperform everyone around him.
I never knew anyone as quick and sharp-witted as my dad. He could do complex mathematical calculations in his head, and his reasoning skills were incredible. He was brilliant in his discernment and assessment of almost any situation, and he could read people with a short conversation. Few things ever got past him.
That’s why I find the following autobiography of him so interesting. It was written shortly before he died, after he was already somewhat senile. I’m going to transcribe it just as he wrote it, complete with misspelled words and grammatical errors. I know in his state of mind, and no doubt on pretty heavy doses of morphine, this must have been difficult for him to write. I am so ever grateful he chose to record this piece of history… and I have it in his own handwriting.

Louis S. Tamez, CAPTAIN, United State Air Force
BORN: 11-23-29, SAN ANTONIO, TX.

Louis was an indusitous individual. The first time he went to Michigan to pick beets. This was the first job had at age 7. These days were though – jobs were rare – So everybody had to work. During
when everyone was at ~~the~~ work – no school!
After the workers accumulate enough money to return to our homes in San Antonio, TX.
At this point, kids that worked had to go to school and catch up on what they had already missed. Since I all ways wanted to learn all that I could, I would complete the things I had to do.
When I was 8, we went to west texas to pick cotton. I would start thinking if I would catch up on my studies when we return home. We picked cotton every year – I started at 8 years old and 9 years, 10 years.
People had to do this so we could have something to eat and clothes to wear – we had to survive in anyway. Many young children never went to school –it was tough to do.
I could see how my mother worked to make do with what we got. She wanted my Sister, Mary and I to do better than our mother – so she would tell us that we had to go to school to learn something.
I loved my mother very much and I wanted to do all I could buy learning all that I could to be better for Mom and for me.
At 11 years of age, I wanted to go to high school – my mom didn’t know how I could get a job that would help everyone. The more I learned the more I knew that someday my mom wold be very happy.
I had a job at a grocery store. After school I would run to the store and work till the store closed – 11 pm. I would walk home and do my homework – we did not have electricity – but I had to be at the armory at 7:00 AM –as I was one of the leaders in the ROTC – I worked very hard, and I learned much.
When the senior year was coming I started to seed how I could graduate, and I was very poor as always – I graduated in my ROTC suit.
At that point if you had money, you could go to colledge, if you did not have money, start looking for a job.
I knew I had to find a job that would pay me well and teach me to be better – the only way I could do this was to join the Army Air Corp. I enlisted as a private, World War II was coming to a stop the war, we were paying private and I was getting $50 per month. I would send $25 to mom. I always needed money – the things my mom ~~that~~ needed and I wanted to help I could. I started a business in my barracks – things my mom taught me – like washing and ironing my buddies that they could do – I was washing and pressing unifords and I made money.
When we left from our place where we were station.
I left this place and when got off the train, and we saw that our station would Washington, D.C.
We went through a bunch of tests, and the took the best 10 men and they started to go to school again. They sent me to the US Coast ^Gurard and Geodich Servey to learn to make charts and maps. We learn how to get arial airiel photography – learn it well – got first promotion.
They sent me to other great schools and I learn more – more promotions
Sent me to Puerto Rico, as one of 10 to do all the charts and mocias – more promotions –sent to French Morrocco to make aerial maps and charts –
Sent back to Washington to do more charting from 2nd World War – we had captured all the photos – we had to make charts and maps of the Soviat empire.
Went to do best on our Air Force in Omaha – they gave me the biggest bundle yet had three men and I Did great job – Promotion to the top grade Master Sargent – I was 25 years old – No more promotions because Master Sargent was the Top.
I disided to get out of the Air Force and work in Washington –
My officers asked me if I would want to go in the Aviation Cadets. I thought they were ~~gr craze~~ out of there heads –
I applied to the program and I finished the program and became as officers and I became a navigator – went to many countries – ~~I had 3 years~~
I love the U.S. Air Force. I not only made Master Sargent – I got a commission. I retired a U.S. Air Force Captain, retired.
This is what a little cotton picker can do – no other contry gives the people to do what ever we want.

*************************************************

“I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me. “

I don't think Dad ever stopped seeing himself as a little cotton picker. He was friends with anyone (except male nurses.) I still meet people that knew him, and I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything bad about him. What a legacy. My dad was a fighter, and never gave up, even in the end. He didn’t want to die. He wanted to beat the cancer like he beat everything else. He taught me to trust God, but to use what He gave me so I could be a producer. He never wanted any of us to be mooches, and always told me that I lived in the United States of America, the greatest country in the world, and I could do whatever I wanted to and be whatever I wanted to be. He loved us, and showed me how much he loved me until he no longer could. He died gracefully, and he will never be forgotten.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me a father like him. Just as you never have, he never gave up on me either.

Pete and Andy meet the Man

2006-02-12T20:10:00.000-06:00

It was a pleasant, sunny afternoon much like many others in this small fishing village. There was a cool breeze coming off the waters of the Sea of Galilee, and as most days, the fishing was pretty decent. At least the catch today was turning out to be sufficient to bring a day’s wages at the market. Two men were in the water, stripped to the waist, enjoying the sun, casting their nets, and discussing their day. So it was for Pete and Andy, brothers, who had a thriving business, “Bethsaida Brothers Fishery,” which they operated for years. The fishing business had been good to them and their families, and they were known and respected. Fishing was all they knew, and they loved it.

This afternoon, though, was about to bring some big changes for the strong brothers. As they worked the nets and talked, they watched as a rather peculiar figure approached on the beach. The man paused on the beach, watching them intently. Pete and Andy wondered who this might be, for there weren’t many strangers that came down to the ocean to watch the fishing. But there was something about this stranger, something magnetic; something drawing… there was an intensity in his gaze that neither had ever experienced before. ”Andy, that’s Jesus, the Messiah,” whispered Pete. They paused…

And just like that, he spoke. “Come with me, and I’ll make you fishers of men.” Without hesitation, and for reasons neither of them could immediately explain, they dropped their nets– along with their livelihood and everything they loved and were familiar with – into the water, and followed this strange but comforting man. Pete looked into his brother’s eyes, but neither said a word, they just followed with awe and excitement.

They walked a little further down the beach and soon came to where two other brothers, Jimmy and John, who were working for their dad who ran “Zeb’s Fresh Fish Market.” They were in their boat, fixing their nets after a good day’s catch, and they too, had been watching as the three approached. As soon as they got there, Jesus called to them, and immediately the two brothers jumped from the boat, leaving their father with the hired hands, and they followed Him.

From the account in the Gospel According to Mark, chapter 1

These two sets of brothers had ordinary occupations – secular jobs which, no doubt, kept their families fed and maybe kept a few others employed. They were not scholars, seminary graduates, or professional ministers. I imagine they were brought up fishing for a living, and worked hard at it.

And just like that, they left all that was familiar and comfortable to them to follow Jesus. Now, Jesus was no stranger. According to John’s account in John 1:35-42, they had met Him maybe about a year before, right after His baptism by John. Jesus had even spoken to Peter, called Simon, and prophesied to him, calling him Cephas, which means “A Stone.”

The idea of leaving one’s occupation to follow Jesus must have taken a huge leap of faith. I can’t imagine what it took for these men to drop what they were doing, leaving behind their tools of the trade, their families, and their hired hands. Surely they had something to lose. Surely they must have had some fear….but they just left to follow Him. Just like that.

What would it take for me to do the same? Honestly, I don’t know. It was a leap of faith for me to just recently change jobs, and it was even in the same field. God must have been working on changing their hearts for a while. I’m sure their identity and all that they could relate to was tied up in their business. When God calls us into a different place, He prepares us for the change. He gives us the boldness and the ability to make the decision, and then gives us everything we need to fulfill His vision.

Our responsibility is not only to hear His call, but to commit to follow Him, no matter what. And the step of faith we decide to take is merely a step. He provides the strength, we provide the will. He gives us what we need, we give our faith. God doesn’t force us to do what we don’t want to do, He merely asks for our obedience. In turn, He takes us to where we’ve never been.

Weird

2006-02-12T17:24:00.000-06:00

weird (wîrd) adj., weird·er, weird·est.
1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.
2. Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.

1 Peter 2:9 "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light..."

Thank God for weird.

In church this morning, during the worship time, I looked around at some of the people that were there. I looked at the men I have fellowshipped with, worshipped with, sometimes fought with, cried with, and rejoiced with for about the last 15 years. Something struck me as I looked at these guys I’ve been with all these years. We’re heavier now; older, grayer…But God is still changing us and molding us.
These are guys I have known most of my Christian life, and will probably know for the rest of my life – the ones I’ll know in eternity. These are the very guys I’ve encouraged at times, and most often been encouraged by. We’ve shared a lot together. I’ve been humbled by them, lifted up by them, laughed with them, and cried with them. None of us is perfect. In fact, we’re all pretty much weird – stranger than most, each in our own ways. I had to thank God for the weirdness we’ve shared

My friend, Matt, over at From the Morning, shared about being weird. He was wishing we were all a little less guarded at church, and a little more WYSIWYG. I’m glad for our small fellowship of home church folks. It’s really hard to hide behind a Sunday smile when we’re all facing each other in someone’s living room. (Not impossible, just harder…) I know if one of us doesn’t show up for whatever reason, we’ve got someone calling or knocking on the door that afternoon, just to check up.
I relayed to them my thoughts about weird this morning, and how God chose a bunch of us weirdoes to fellowship together. Here’s what I shared in the comments of Matt’s post:

Weird is 2 fishermen throwing down thier nets (and their livelihood) to follow a carpenter from Nazareth. Weird is that the religious culture, who knew the scriptures better than anyone, rejected the Messiah, when he was there among them. Weird is an upright and zealous Jew; a scholar, who persecuted the followers of Christ, suddenly make a turnaround and become one of them.
Weird was Jesus choosing to be in the company of the most hated and rejected of society: the tax-collectors, prostitutes, and the non-religious. And it was certainly weird that the Lord of Lords, who could have called down legions of angels to destroy those that persecuted Him, chose to suffer the most horrible death of crucifixion to fulfill God's redemption of sinful man.
And, yes, it was weird that a 25 year-old, pot-smoking, alcoholic dickhead chose 23 years ago to accept God's forgiveness for my sins and follow Him.

Yeah, I said “dickhead,” to use Matt’s description…it just seems to fit. I just remember what I was like before God got hold of me. And I know what I can still be like, were it not for His grace.

The Comfort of the Father

2006-02-09T14:47:00.000-06:00

Since I made the decision to leave my current firm, I have been looking for another broker/dealer to keep my registrations current. I have been struggling with trying to decide what direction to take, and who to talk to. It's hard to discern, sometimes, the truth in a recruiting pitch.
When my dad was alive, I could always rely on his advice and know he would tell me the whole story. I was praying this morning and telling the Lord how much I missed my dad and how I wished he was here to talk to. I gave it to God, thanking Him for being my Father, and told him I trusted Him. I thanked Him that I knew he spoke to me, and that I knew He listened when I prayed. I told Him I would keep my ears and heart attuned to Him for my direction.
I received a call from a broker/dealer's office later on this morning, and was on the phone about 20 minutes or so, discussing my needs, their services, etc. The guy asked me for the correct spelling of my name. When I told him, he remarked, "I had a good friend in San Antonio named Lou Tamez." "That's my dad!" I told him. "Well, that cements the deal, then," he said.
I thought about it later, how my dad would have probably given me the name of someone he knew that could help me. It might have been this very man's name he gave me - I don't know.. but I do know that my heavenly Father heard me, and He sent me the right person, using my dad to confirm it. And knowing my aching heart, He filled it with a memory of my dad.

Agreement and a New Move

2006-02-02T06:11:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the long time between posts. I have been fairly busy, but more than that, I have been in a decision-making mode, and it required my full attention. I decided to cut my ties with the company I was with and pursue a new career. My office will be here in town, and I'll start making money immediately. It will be a good move; one that Linda and I prayed about, agreed on, and have peace with.
Amos 3:3 says," Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" Linda and I are not experts on the principal of agreement yet. We are polar opposites in our thought patterns. But we know when we agree on something - there is peace. When we have spent time covering our situation and decision with prayer, and we truly seek God, He is faithful to give us both the same answer. And there is peace.
I remember many years ago having a major disagreement with Linda over a situation with an employee. We were truly at a standoff, and neither one of us would budge. Each of us had an equally strong argument to support our stubbornness. We were truly in strife, voices were raised, and I think we even had our arms crossed and were pouting. I don't remember which one of us had the bright idea to "take it to the Lord" in prayer, but one of us, thank God, suggested we put our flesh aside, and inquire of the Lord as to an answer to the impasse. Within a few minutes, both of us had peace, and turned out, neither one of the opinions we so adamantly held onto was the right answer. Each one of us, separately, got the same answer in our hearts from the Lord. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened for you." (Luke 11:9) The situation was settled with a completely different answer. And there was peace.
The principal of agreement is not only so that there will be peace in a relationship. There can be the absence of an argument if one's opinion or decisions over-shadow the other's - one person is passive, and just decides it's not worth the fight. Lots of couples "agree" that way and avoid external strife. Underneath, though, there is strife, disagreement, and disappointment, which often festers until there is a breaking point somewhere down the road. Then all hell breaks loose.
True agreement allows us to truly avoid strife - externally and internally. It also allows us to work together synergetically, and allow God to take us further in our walk. Solomon wrote, in the book of Ecclesiastes 4:9, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to lift him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." In my experience, it has always been better when we are in agreement. We get more done without strife, and our rewards for our efforts are much greater.
I'm encouraged and excited about my new occupation. I'll start some preliminary transition next week, as I still have some things to wrap up with my current job. The good new is that I am leaving on excellent terms and have been given an open door to come back. And there is peace.

Wondering if I heard from God

2006-01-06T07:29:00.000-06:00

I'm working in a field I love. I know I was born to do this. I have the potential to make more in one month than I ever used to make in a year. I think I am doing exactly what I was created to do, and fulfilling my call as a Christian and my purpose as a man.
So what's the problem??? For 2 years I have barely made it financially. I have been making less than 1/4 of what I was making in the same occupation just 2 years ago. Circumstances have changed and I had to move to another firm. The firm I am currently with underwent some major changes last year which cut into my abilty to market and deliver my product. Timing had everything to do with my current situation. I've been frustrated and discouraged and have wondered if I really heard God.
Yet something continues to drive me and hold on to the promise He gave me. I've had to let go of so many things, both financially and emotionally that I thought were so important before. I've had to learn patience, virtue, and kindness. I've had to forgive. I've had to be humble when I would have rather not have been.
Yes, discernment is difficult, considering the circumstances. I wish I could fix things myself, but, as a friend prayed for me today, I realize my job is not my source, God is. His timing is perfect, and He has always come through for me, despite my lame attempts at pushing Him.
I'm God's. Only His. He's my daddy, and knows what I need more than I do. I trust Him and none other. Yeah...it's hard, and I doubt, but what else can I do but trust the One who created me, and who says He's never seen His seed begging for bread?
I am only a man and have limited sight. As Daniel did, I must learn to trust God to "reveal the secrets" to understanding his vision for me.

New Year's Resolutions, Anyone?

2006-01-01T09:10:00.000-06:00

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

What a better time than New Year’s Day to start over. It’s a “landmark day” that we can use to put the past behind us and start over. Last year is over; this is the beginning of a New Year. 2005 has now become a memory, good or bad.

I guess that’s what makes New Year’s resolutions so popular. It’s a day to begin that diet, and see ourselves 20 pounds lighter. It’s a day to start a prayer journal, a fast, regular church attendance, etc., etc….It’s a day we can really focus on something we’ve wanted to change and say, “This year, things are going to be different.” It is a definite point of “new beginnings” and second chances.

The wonderful and awesome reality of being a Christian, though, is that every hour of every day is an opportunity to turn around. “As God's fellow workers we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says, "In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you. I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation.” 2 Corinthians 6:1-2 God gives us an opportunity at every junction, every turn. All we have to do is decide that now is when we want it to happen.

Do you want your prayer life to be better? Start praying – now. Do you want to start losing weight? Start eating right and exercising – now. Do you want a relationship to be better? Reach out to that person – now. Let today – each day be a “new year” for you. You don’t have to prepare or “get right” before you come to God for a second chance. He is ready, willing, and available for us right where we are. I went to God in a fallen and sinful state when I asked for salvation and forgiveness. He had already accepted me from the beginning of time, for that was His plan…that none of us would be separated from Him. I accepted His forgiveness, because He already forgave me.

So resolve today to make every day a starting point. Life is only the length of a day. We’re not guaranteed tomorrow. Waiting to “get cleaned up” or “right” before we come to God is dangerous. You may never get that chance, and you’ll never be cleaned up enough, righteous enough, or good enough to come to Him. He knows our sinful state, He knows our fallibility, and He knows our inability to be perfect. He just wants us to accept His love and grace, right where we are. He’ll do the rest if we let Him.

I quit making New Year’s resolutions years ago when I realized I didn’t have to wait for a new year to change my life. And I discovered if I had to wait for the perfect day to make a change, I really wasn’t ready to make the change anyway. So I decided when I’m ready for a change, I’m not going to wait; I’m going to make the change right now. God is ready to give me the strength for change. Are you ready to let Him change you?

Feliz Navidad, Y'all

2005-12-25T11:11:00.000-06:00

OK...it's Christmas...

I feel weird about it. The "Christmas" feeling just wasn't there this year. I don't know why, all I know is that this year is different that past years.

So, I posted some Tejano Christmas stories below, but I guess you have to be Tejano to understand them fully.

I bought one gift this year; for Linda. All the other gifts were made. I sculpted crosses out of wood for my siblings and my mom. Each one is unique. I used wood from an old fence, and some wrought iron from an old railing I took down at the rent house. Some are decorated with pieces of colored and stained glass.

Linda took down some old paintings (from 1975-76) I never finished, and I cleaned one up and finished it for our oldest son. I then matted and framed it for him. I actually liked it when it was completed. It is one of the first large paintings I ever did - an Autumn scene of a cabin in the mountains, complete with pine trees and fall foliage. I had signed and dated it "Sept 1976." I wish I had my camera so I could take a photo of it.

I made Izzy a stick horse out of a large canvas coin bag I got from when the bank I worked at moved a couple of years ago. I cut the horse's head from the bag, sewed it up, complete with a fringed mane, and stuffed it. Then I painted eyes and nostrils on it, and mounted it on a hanger rod I had in my wood scrap pile in the garage. She loved it.

So now we're getting ready for Christmas dinner. I smoked a turkey on the grill last night. I stuffed real butter under the skin of the breasts, sprinkled it with celery salt, lemon pepper, and seasoned salt, and put oregano and thyme in the cavity. It cooked for about 6 hours on the smoker, so it's got some very good flavor. We've got enough food for a small mexican family, and it's going to be just a few of us eating here. I have no idea why we made so much food.

So all the gift-giving, food, phone calls and visits from family are just the superficial stuff of Christmas that has me a bit unfulfilled. I'm grateful for all the abundance we have, but it's reall just stuff. My real joy came from sitting down and telling my 4 year old granddaughter the story of the first Christmas. She understood and enjoyed the story as I told it to her while she sat on my lap. When I told her about the wise men coming on horseback or camels, she remarked, ""Cause they didn't have no cars! or motorcycles, or bikes..." Then she wanted to know if they had dogs. Of course they did...

Merry Christmas, Y'all...my regular readers, the few commenters I have, my family who reads me, and whoever else might stop by. This Christmas remember the most important thing is not the "stuff," it's about celebrating the birth of a Savior - the man named Jesus, whose birth was the reason for CHRISTmas. Without his birth, everything else would mean nothing.

The Christmas Story, as told by a Cholo

2005-12-24T14:02:00.000-06:00

Back when I was just a muchacho, they passed a law from El Rey, Cesar Augustino, that all the barrios should be registered. So we all went to our hometowns, every vato to his own barrio.

Jose also went up from L.A. back to his barrio in Bethlehem to be registered with his prometida, Maria, who was embarazada. And while they were there, it came time for her to deliver, and she had the niňo, and wrapped him like a tamale, and laid him in the back of the carro, because there was no room at the motel.

Now in the same country, all us cholos were in our parking lot, showing our lowriders and hanging out in the night. And suddenly, an angel of the Lord stood before us, and the glory of God was shining all around us, and we were big time freaked out. Then the angel said to us, “Calmate, vatos, don’t freak. Orale, I bring you buenas noticias of great joy which is for todos. Today, ese, in David’s barrio, was born a Savior, who is Cristo El Senor. And here’s how you know for sure: You will find the bebe wrapped in his ropa like a tamale, lying in the back of a ’57 Chevy.”

And suddenly the whole sky was full of grupos musicales, conjuntos, and Tejano bands with the angel, praising God, throwing gritas and singing, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward all people.” So when all the angels went back to heaven, the cholos said to each other, “Vamanos! Let’s all cruise to Bethlehem, and let’s check it out, what the Lord told us about.” And we burned rubber down there. We found Maria and Jose, and the bebe in the back of the lowrider.

When we saw Him, we all got on our cell phones and called all the gente and told them everything the angel said about the Bebe. And all the tias and mis compadres were freaked out and said, “Way cool, que suave, ese” about everything us cholos told them. Then we all cruised back to our barrios, throwing gritas, glorifying and praising God for all we had heard and seen, as it was told to us.

From the gospel according to Pauly, paraphrased from Luke 2:1-20

Pancho Claus - A Bilingual Christmas

2005-12-24T09:42:00.000-06:00

"Pancho Claus" by Michael Paglia

Image is copyright protected and used with written permission

[Michael Paglia's website]

In his more than sixty years as a singer and songwriter, Eduardo 'Lalo' Guerrero has given voice to the barrios, weaving their energy, their sorrow,and especially their humor into songs that made Mexican-Americans across the Southwest realize their common identity. In a career that spanned the great depression of the 1930's, the zoot suit riots of the 1940's, the Chicano movement of the 1960's, and the genuine Mexican-American political power of the 1970's and 1980's, Guerrero embodied the essential humanity of the barrios. He transformed what he saw and heard and lived through as a child, into songs that touched millions of people, and he has become one of Tucson's ambassadors to the world. In the spirit of the holidays, one of his songs is presented below. Happy Holidays!-------

Pancho Claus (The Night before Christmas)

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through la casa
Not a creature was stirring, Caramba! Que pasa?
Los ninos were all tucked away in their camas,
Some in vestidos and some in pajamas.
While Mama worked late in her little cocina,
El viejo was down at the corner cantina.
The stockings were hanging con mucho cuidado,
In hopes that St.Nicholas would feel obligado
To bring all the children, both buenos y malos,
A Nice batch of dulces and other regalos.
Outside in the yard there arouse such a grito,
That I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.
I went to the window and looked out afuera,
And who in the world, do you think que era?
Saint Nick in a sleigh and a big red sombrero
Came dashing along like a crazy bombero!
And pulling his sleigh instead of venados,
Were eight little burros approaching volados.
I watched as they came, and this little hombre was shouting
and whistling and calling by nombre.
Ay, Pancho! Ay, Pepe! Ay, Cuca! Ay, Beto!
Ay, Chato! Ay, Chopo! Maruca and Nieto!
Then standing erect with his hand on his pecho
He flew to the top of our very own techo.
With his round little belly like a bowl of jalea,
He struggled to squeeze down our old chimenea.
Then huffing and puffing, at last in our sala,
With soot smeared all over his red suit de gala.
He filled the stockings with lovely regalos,
For none of the children had been very malos.
Then chuckling aloud and seeming contento,
He turned like a flash and was gone like the viento.
And I heard him exclaim and this is VERDAD,
Merry Christmas to all, And to All Feliz Navidad!
{Special Thanks From www.hepm.org}

More on Home Church

2005-12-10T09:32:00.000-06:00

There's a lot being written about home church, and a lot of questions/curiosity on the subject. It seems, though, that few are actually willing to jump out there and see what it's really all about. There are plenty of fellowships available, if one would take the time to seek them out. There's also the option of actually starting one in your own home, if you dare. Real live preacher had a post, If We Could Do Church, and I replied to one of the commenters. The question of legitimacy was raised:

"Not to be flippant, but it if a "church" like this is legitimate, then what about a
church of one? Is a church of one still a church? I think you're sliding down a
slippery slope there."
Here was my answer:
My greatest spiritual growth has been made in the last 14 years meeting in groups of as little as 2 and sometimes greater than 100, mostly in homes, but the for the larger groups in the past we have rented a banquet room at a hotel, or met out at the lake.
Legitimate? Only when our meeting/fellowship meet to glorify God and build the faith of those in attendance. Have we done that with only 2 people present? yes. Have we missed it with 50 people present? maybe. Maybe it was just me. The point is, that wherever 2 or more are gathered in Jesus' name, He is there. And when we know His presence, and we honor that with our words, deeds, and worship, we've had church.
We don't have a paid pastor, but rather, a plurality of leadership. Worship is open for anyone to participate and offer a song, psalm, a word of encouragement, a prophecy... even a sermon, if that's been led by the Spirit. In short, we have adopted the "priesthood of the believer," and recognize, even encourage the use of whatever gifts God has given someone. Is it always a perfect service? No. But we're open to allow the Holy Spirit change us, admonish us, and even correct us.
A church of one? Well, that may be pushing it, since the purpose of a church involves "the assembling of yourselves together," and corporate worship is intended for the glory of God, the edification of the body, and the teaching of doctrine. The five-fold ministry is not intended to be present only in the pastor, or leader of the group. It was given to the body of believers for prophecy, evangelism, aposotlic ministry, pastoring and teaching. It requires a body of believers to carry out the "perfecting of the saints, the work of the ministry, and the edifying of the body of Christ." So one person, although said person may be able to have a powerful worship time alone with God, is not a church by himself. We are designed for relationship, and the body of Christ is fashioned to be dependent on interdependent relationships with God and each other.Just as I believe that the instiutional church has legitimacy, so I believe that the smaller fellowships such as home churches, be it 2 or 100, have the same legitimacy...as long as the body is functioning as the body of Christ, and not just meeting for the sake of meeting, or to meet the overhead.

My short trip

2005-12-06T11:35:00.000-06:00

I just returned from Washington, DC, as I was up there for a short meeting. I love going to DC. I love the history, the architecture, the sculptures, and the culture. I love being at the capitol of our nation; there's just a different feeling there.

I got there Sunday and had a few hours to spare before dinner, so I took the Metro to Arlington National Cemetery. Walking around, I could not help but be overcome by the awesome understanding that I was walking among the remains of the greatest heroes of our nation. I spent some quiet time there in front of a headstone of a Major General in the Air Force. I thought of my dad, and the hundreds of men he served with, was friends with, and led. I saluted the General's headstone, and then bowed my head to give thanks for the freedoms we have

I thought about my own impact on this earth, and what I might be remembered for. It's a sobering thing to gather the thoughts of all the things I may have done that have made a positive impact on someone's life. It's even more sobering to think about what I might have done different.

Life is short, and visiting the cemetery, with row upon row of headstones, memorials, and markers, made me realize we have only one life, one opportunity to make something of ourselves. We choose who we will be. We choose what we will do, and we choose what we may become.

I had a good cry while I was there, and I made a decision to make good choices. I know how prone I am to screw up, but I won't dwell on that. God puts choices before me every day, even every hour.

“See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, in that I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His statutes, and His judgments, that you may live and multiply; and the LORD your God will bless you in the land which you go to possess.But if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.” - Deuteronomy 30: 15-20

Another Thanksgiving Day

2005-11-24T20:04:00.000-06:00

This is the second Thanksgiving since my dad died, and I still miss him. This is a very difficult time of year for me for a number of reasons, and missing my dad makes it even harder. His 76th birthday was yesterday, which is young by today's standards. I have clients in their 80's who are still vibrant and healthy, and I know my dad would have been still full of energy if cancer hadn't taken him.

I guess I am thankful I had him as long as I did, but a part of me feels lost without him here. I miss his laughter, his voice, and his humor. Every Thanksgiving Day for as long as I can remember, he was the first one to call me in the morning. I could always count on hearing from him, no matter where I was.

I am also thankful I still have my mom, who I still call almost every day. Well, at least 5 or 6 times a week anyway. As much as an influence my father was, she was certainly instrumental in my development . Mom was always there. She was a SAHM, and I could always count on her being there when I got home from school. She was the one who listened to me, bandaged me when I got a scrape, made sure I was clean when I went to bed, and taught me how to tie my shoes. I spent more time with her my first 10 years of life, because my dad was in the Air Force, and was gone a lot.

Mom taught me how to cook, sew, and take care of myself. Dad taught me how to love and respect a woman, and showed me by loving my mom. I'm thankful they chose to stay married for 48 years before he died. Even though they had issues of their own, they stuck through the hard times and made the best of the good times. I know in her heart, my mom is still married to him. They loved each other deeply, and taught us about love.

I'm thankful I have 5 siblings who love me and still stay in contact with me regularly. I'm thankful all of us have chosen to stay married to our first spouses, even when it's been hard. I'm thankful we all love each other and are not fighting over piddly stuff.

On this Thanksgiving Day, I am thinking about family, and how temporary life is. Life is short...enjoy what you can.

"I speak "Dog"

2005-11-13T21:16:00.000-06:00

I love being a grandfather…. Even more so, I love still being young enough to really enjoy watching my grandkids grow. I took Izzy with me Friday to to meet with a leasing agent at our rental house in Copperas Cove . I explained to her that the house was where her mother grew up. When we went inside, she wanted to se “her mamma’s room,” so I showed her. Then she wanted to see the kitchen. The first thing she asked was, “Where’s the dishwasher?” (That house never had one, but everywhere she’s ever lived in her short 4 year life has had one…) When I told her there was no dishwasher in that house, she just gave me an incredulous look and asked, “Why?”

Just prior to going to the house, we had some time before we had to meet the leasing agent, so we went to a park around the corner. I had told her that I used to bring her mommy to that park all the time when she was a little girl. She was fascinated.

It’s an older park, perhaps constructed in the late 60’s when the neighborhood was established. There are some very old swings that are small horses that can be mounted, with handles coming from the temples, little saddles, and bars for the feet to rest on. There’s also a tall slide that has three humps on the way down, and a standard swingset with four swings. There are good old-fashioned monkey bars and a geometric dome constructed of hexagonal bars to climb. There are also some little horses, complete with handles and footrests, but they are on a base with a large spring holding them up so you can rock back and forth, even side to side. I’m sure none of these older “playscapes” would pass city codes for safety if they were new today, but to a 4 year old, damn, they’re fun.

After running for 25 or so minutes, from the swings, to the slide, to the horses, then the merry-go-round (also complete with horses), the bars, the slide, then back to the swings… she was having a great time on the swings while some neighborhood dogs were barking away at her. She kept yelling at the dogs to be quiet, and she told them several times, when all of a sudden she blurted out, “Wait a minute….I speak dog!…WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!” I was laughing so hard, I forgot about the dogs.

Veteran's Day 2005

2005-11-11T22:00:00.000-06:00

You gotta love this guy. Every year he’s created something different on this rock. I think it’s awesome.

I salute the men and women of the armed forces of this great country today, especially the veterans who have sacrificed for our freedoms.

[Bubba Sorrenson's Website]

In Honor of My 48th Birthday - Nov 6

2005-11-05T21:18:00.000-06:00

This was just too good not to post. Linda's making me a cake tonight and it smells so good. So I know it's not a "sheet" cake...

From the Weekend

2005-11-05T20:39:00.000-06:00

Sketch of an idea I have for a painting

The Sermon

2005-11-03T21:10:00.000-06:00

I was struggling with whether or not to post this. As the weekend retreat came to an end, we had a memorial service for our lost children, having named them, and offered them up to the Lord. Following the memorial service was a Resurrection service, to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and the fact that our children live with Him.

As I delivered the closing words, I wanted to encourage us to maintain what God had started. Take this in context, as it was delivered after much healing was done. I hope this will encourage someone else, too.

Here’s my sermon:

The weekend has brought a wide range of emotions. Think back on what you were feeling when you arrived: the apprehension, the anxiety, the sadness… The exercises over the weekend have brought healing for all of us in many different degrees. We have gone to the past to remember painful times, and in some cases uncover things we haven’t thought about because it was too painful.
We’ve shared with each other our pain and our joys. Understand that the pain and sadness of death and grief does not have the final say in our walk of recovery. The joy that God brings through the resurrection of our Lord Jesus is the last word.
Even as we have faced the reality of the loss of our children, even more now is the reality of our healing, and the hope of what lies ahead – an eternity with our children and our Lord.
As we reflect today on the hope that we have and that we now feel, I want to encourage us as we go forward with this hope. We have the privilege now of living this life of hope as a witness to those who knew us in our darkness.
Be encouraged that God is familiar with our emotions. He sent Jesus to become man so that He would know us, feel what we feel, suffer as we suffer, and experience joy as we experience joy. He understands us intimately, and even deeper than we know ourselves.
His Word tells us that “He came so that we could have life, and have it more abundantly.” Jesus Christ is intimately aware of our feelings, our actions, and our needs. He has already provided everything we have need of through His life, death, and resurrection. He knows us intimately – He knew us while we were sinners and still loved us then. He knows us in our broken heartedness, through our times of darkness, and he knows us through our healing.
Hold on to and embrace the intimacy you found here this weekend. Some of you may be afraid of losing that closeness when you head home today; or that the joy and peace you found will be lost as we go back to our daily lives.
Today is not “the end” of our healing process; it is a new beginning, a new starting point, a “launching pad” back into the world. The same intimacy you found here is the same intimacy Christ desires with us every day. God’s grace and presence is just as real at home, at work, at school, in times of loneliness, in our temptations, our struggles, our celebrations, as it is here.
Grace is portable. He is with us wherever we go. His understanding patience, compassion, gentleness, humility, and His love are with us – even when we don’t feel Him. Remember some of the exercises we did. Remember what you felt as you listened to each meditation:
The forgiveness of the woman caught in adultery
The healing of your blindness
The raising of Lazarus, and our own dead parts of our life
The touching of Jesus’ cloak
The hope Jesus gave the woman at the well
The cup of grace we poured and shared today
The breath of heaven…
Remember you are healed…You are forgiven…You are included in His mercy.
God loves you. And He loves us so much that He doesn’t want us to stay where we are. Paul tells us to “press on toward the prize of the high calling of Jesus Christ.” Jesus endured the pain and suffering of humanity and His death and crucifixion, for the hope of the glory that lay ahead.
Now go – hold onto Christ. Run after Him with everything you’ve got. He loves you and wants the best for you.

More on Recovery

2005-11-02T20:12:00.000-06:00

It literally took me a couple of days to recover from the weekend. It was emotionally, spiritually, and mentally exhausting. I don’t even know how I was able to function Monday, much less, work. I had an appointment scheduled Monday, so I went in, intending to do only that, and wound up staying until after we closed. I wish I had just rescheduled because I had to push all the feelings aside to be “on my game” for my clients. Whew.

Yesterday was just as hectic, and on top of it all I had a pastor’s meeting at lunch, then met with a missionary couple and another lady at dinnertime, so I had to rush home and cook dinner real fast. It was a whirlwind day.

You know that feeling you get deep in the pit of your stomach when you’re really stressed over something? You know… the kind that makes you a little queasy and makes it hard to eat??? …That feeling that all is lost, and it’s hard to move??? That was the last couple of days, but God got me through it.

I wish I could relay all the stories the ladies told this last weekend. Some of them really broke my heart. One common theme though, was the fact that every one of the ladies there at one time or another was disappointed, humiliated, or abused by their father. That really made an impact on me. The lack of a good relationship, and the disappointment or abandonment by a father was influential in the process that led to every one of these women to have a crisis pregnancy that ended in abortion.

I think about my own decision, and I wonder what made me think I couldn’t go to my parents and let them know I needed help and advice. I think they might have been disappointed, but they would have been there for me, and helped me. They certainly would have encouraged me to be responsible and raise my child, rather than kill their grandson before he even had a chance to breathe.

I began to deal with this back in 1997, when I did a bible study called “Healing a Father’s Heart.” It was a difficult 3 or 4 months of healing, and I put to rest a lot of feelings and shame. It took me several years to forgive myself, although I finally did. As I mentioned in a previous post, I was finally able to let go of the rest this past weekend, and memorialize my son. In all, 10 babies were memorialized, 9 that had been aborted, and 1 miscarriage. As I put my son’s memory to rest, I felt years of guilt and shame be put to rest also…

More later.

Some Quick Notes on the Weekend

2005-10-31T06:52:00.000-06:00

I closed the final door on my own experience 25 years ago. I had never named my child, nor had I ever really given him an identity or let him go. I was able to do that this weekend, and God radically changed my heart. I can now believe David Louis is with the Lord.

There were 4 ladies and a young, teenage girl there this weekend. I must be careful how I write about the weekend so as not to disclose any details that might break confidentiality. Suffice it to say that there was one salvation experience, and I saw her changed radically this weekend. Also the other ladies there were able to deal with grief that had been bottled up for so long. More than one woman admitted they had never been able to talk to anyone about thier experience before.

I guess what I'm going to focus my weekend experience on is what happened in my life. For right now, I am tired...but it's a good tired. I'm going to take it easy today, and if I feel like it, later todayI'll write down some things I started or did over the weekend.

My hope is that men will hear this message, and find hope in the realization that they can grieve also.

The Abortion Recovery Process and God's Grace

2005-10-28T06:44:00.000-05:00

This weekend, beginning this afternoon, and going through Sunday evening, Linda and I will be leading an abortion recovery weekend for some ladies through Rachel's Vineyard. I am going as a minister, so my role will be more for spiritual support. Linda is the leader/facilitator, and we have a counselor and two others on the team. I'm looking forward to what God will do in the lives of all that will be attending, including the team. I'll share a little about my own experience in this area.

25 years ago, I took part in a decision that separated me from the life of my unborn son. I can only imagine what type of young man he would be today. Sometimes when I mow the lawn or am doing work around the house, or on my car, I think how much I miss not having him here next to me, helping me, telling me about his day, learning from me, sharing jokes, or telling me his plans. The decision for abortion didn't seem like much of a 'choice' at the time. It seemed like there was no other choice. We were pressured by the doctor, society's view at the time, and the fact that we weren't married. It seemed like such an easy thing to do at the time, and I had no idea how it would impact my life for years to come.

I lived with this silence for the next 16 or 17 years. There were many manifestations of my shame and guilt, mainly in the way I related to women and even other children. I could never get close to my daughter, who was a year younger than what my son would have been. Even though I loved her so deeply, there was a part of me that could just not let her in too close to me. How I wish I could have dealt with the grief and shame earlier in my life. Abortion recovery is not really talked about openly in most churches. Even though the subject of abortion is sometimes addressed in churches, it is usually brought up in the context of sin to be avoided, not something of the past to be dealt with. I'm afraid many pastors or congregations are not really equipped with the understanding or sensitivity to deal with post-abortion recovery, especially when it comes to men.

We can all relate to why a woman who chose abortion would need to deal with that decision at some point in her life. Certainly, any woman who would carry her baby to full term, and then lose it suddenly would be looked on with compassion and be recommended for counseling. And even worse, if a woman gave birth to her baby, and then purposely ended its life, she would be looked at as evil, sinful, and judged by society, the church, and the law. But because ending a life while still in the womb is 'legal' under U.S. law, that 'choice' can be made in secret, and it is between a woman, her doctor, and only those who she shares it with. Many women live with shame and guilt, in silence; grieving alone, and dealing (or not dealing) with the loss of her child. It is an awesome burden, and for some, one too great to bear alone.

One thing we tend to conveniently forget, though: for every woman who terminates a pregnancy, there is a man involved too. Until a few years ago, I never thought about that impact on my life, my decision-making process, or my inability to be emotionally or spiritually intimate with my wife and daughter. Even more of a disconnect was evident with my 2 step-sons. Today I can look back and see a pattern of self-destructive behavior and sin that was directly related to my part of a 'choice' that was made in ignorance.

in 1997 I met Steve, and together we met weekly for several months to walk me through the beginnings of a painful process of healing and restoration of a very damaged and shame-filled heart. Over those weeks, I began to see how my 'choice' influenced many of the other decisions I made, especially when it involved women and children. Over the years that followed, I realized there were many other things I needed to deal with, and even today, I continue to have new revelations. The healing process is a long and sometimes painful journey. I haven't 'arrived' yet.

I'm not through sinning or making bad decisions, but now the process of recovering from those decisions is shorter, and I tend to not be so easily influenced by things I know will have long-term or fatal consequences. Every day presents new challenges. At the beginning of this year, I had a profound revelation of how short my life is. As I continue this process of healing and discovery, I am comforted by a very merciful and forgiving Father. His grace is what gets me through, and allows me to be changed, on day at a time.

Pray for us this weekend, especially for the women who are just beginning the journey toward recovery; and also for those of us who are seeking an even deeper healing, and a closer, more intimate walk with God.

[One woman's story] from the blog "Transitions"
[Another blogger writing on abortion] from the blog "JivinJehoshaphat"
[After Abortion] blog

What Do I Want From Church?

2005-10-21T22:10:00.000-05:00

I read an article posted by one of my favorite bloggers, “From the Morning,” He spoke about the “Emerging Church,” and expressed an attitude that has been creeping through the institutional church for quite a few years, but only recently has begun to get noticed and written about. “From the Morning” makes the statement,

“I've realized something about 'church': I'm not interested.” read the rest of it here
George Barna’s new book, Revolution, not yet in print, addresses this phenomenon that is sweeping Christianity and radically changing the face of the church in America today. He specifically addresses some of the frustrations and shortfalls the church is currently facing today. Chapter 4, titled, “How is the local church doing?” looks at the condition of the 77 million churched, born-again Christians in America. Some of the points he makes:

Worship – the bi-weekly attendance at worship services is, by believer’s own admission, generally the only time they worship God. 8 out of 10 believers do not feel they’ve entered into the presence of God or feel they’ve experienced a connection with Him during the typical worship service. In fact, half of all believers do not feel like they’ve entered into the presence of God or experienced a genuine connection with Him during the past year.

Faith-based conversations – the typical churched believer will die without ever leading even a single person to a life-saving knowledge of or relationship with Jesus Christ.

Servanthood – In a typical week, only 1 out of 4 will allocate any time to serving other people. In fact, most of that time is dedicated to volunteering in church programs that serve fellow congregants. Little time is invested in serving needy people outside of the congregation.

Spiritual friendships – Fewer than 1 out of 6 believers have a relationship with another believer through which true spiritual accountability is provided. The most significant influence on the choices of churched believers is neither the teachings from the pulpit nor advice gleaned from fellow congregants; it turns out to be the messages absorbed from the media, from the law and from family members.

From personal observation, I have seen little that is attractive about the church to someone outside the church. In fact, there is little about the church that is attractive to many believers. Many churched believers blend into their surroundings without ever giving a clue of their faith, or giving any hope to the lost. Even worse, some churched believers are better at back-stabbing, gossiping, and intolerance than non-churched people. I have been routinely and rudely cut-off or passed on the highway by someone with a fish on their bumper going 90 mph.

So what is it about the church? So many believers are burned out with activities and programs that take their nights and weekends. Sermons are “the same-old, same-old,” and church budgets are stretched because of building payments, overhead, and salaries. There is little left for benevolence and helping the communities they occupy. “Praise and worship” time becomes more of a production rather than a time of joy and giving to God.

We tend to forget that our motivation for corporate worship is not so that we are the primary beneficiaries, but so that God and God alone would be the primary beneficiary of our worship. That means HE must benefit from our time of worship. HE must be the recipient of our praise; HE must be the focus of our teaching and our anticipation. That one little paradigm shift will make a wholesale change in our relationships, fellowship, worship, and allow the sermons (and the rest of church 'business') to take on a whole new meaning.

Whether we meet in a mega-church with thousands or in a home with a smaller body of believers/worshippers, if the focus is on what we can benefit from church, we'll eventually walk away empty and frustrated. We've been meeting exclusively in homes for 14 years, and our services, as intimate as we'd like to believe they are, can be just as dry and empty when we take our eyes off the real reason for being there. If we want our "church" experience to change, we need to change our focus.

Acts 1:14 gives us the setting in the "upper room" right before the Holy Spirit blew in. "They all joined together constantly in prayer..." There were 120 believers upstairs, all anticipating and waiting for the baptism of the Holy Spirit that Jesus said would come "in a few days". (ch 1:4-5) I don't think they were in a 10:00 a.m. Sunday service with a flow chart that read,

Welcome
Opening Prayer
New Visitors
Announcements
Baby Dedication
Praise and Worship
Elder's Prayer at the Altar Rails
Peter's Sermon
Discussion and Drawing of Lots to Fill Judas's Vacancy
Usher in Holy Spirit...

No, they were in communion with God, praying, and waiting for the gift God had promised. A supernatural, spontaneous thing happened because they were waiting on God. The order of the service was not scripted, planned, or on a flow chart. The 120 were waiting in anticipation of what God promised he was going to do. Had they had their sights set on the temporal issues (i.e., the order of the service), they might have missed the whole thing. In the flow chart, Peter's sermon and the discussion and drawing lots is found in Acts 1:15-26. I threw in the other stuff because that's what we do at church. Having been part of the institutional church leadership for years, and having written plenty of flow charts and directed many services and meetings, I can personally attest to the fact that many, if not most services could be totally void of the Spirit of God and continue to flow anyway.

Barna said, “It’s interesting that the bible neither describes nor promotes the local church as we know it today. The order of the services, its programs, offices, buildings and ceremonies is neither biblical nor unbiblical. It is 'a-biblical'.” The scriptures mention nothing about the type of institution we traditionally refer to as "the church." I am not just slamming institutional churches. Our non-traditional, small home groups can be just as traditional by focusing inward and people coming to church with the attitude of "what will church do for me, who is there, how is the music?" Although there is a certain intimacy in a small group setting, meeting in someone's living room or at the lake doesn't make the church any more spiritual if the meeting is not intended to reach out and make a connection with God.

Please hear me out. I have been to many services where the move of God was quite evident, peoples' lives (including my own) were changed and victories were won. It was in the "institutional" church where I answered an altar call, made a profession of faith and grew in an understanding of Jesus Christ. It was the teachings I received from my pastor and many evangelists that strengthened my faith and caused me to grow. But overall, the condition and effectiveness of the church has been diminished by our need for organization, tradition, relationships, and programs that are designed mainly for the benefit of the membership.

I am not talking about avoiding structure or relationships. Again, my point is that the focus of corporate worship, meetings, sermons, etc is to make God the primary beneficiary. Community and relationship with each other should be a secondary product of our relationship with God.

Here’s what people get burned out on... self-centered, inward-focused churches that have no life and don't grow, and churches that are totally centered on the ministry of the pastor, the denomination, or a doctrine. While the church should teach sound doctrine for the purpose of facilitating our worship and relationship with God, doctrine should not be the focus; otherwise we are in danger of error, idolatry, or legalism. A church that is out of focus can also foster a high predisposition toward spiritual abuse.

There is a new move afoot, because people are seeking more from their relationship with God, not their church experiences. People are seeking a real understanding and knowledge of a living God that is fresh and full of hope. The image of a stoic Jesus and a disconnected, judgmental God is simply not the answer. A list of “thou shalt not’s” is not attractive. And the churchy, Christianese-speaking, born-again bible thumpers are what so many are running from and want to avoid becoming.

Ceremony, religious acts, and multi-million dollar complexes are not filling the voids that are in people’s souls. Only a real, life-giving and hope filled relationship that offers grace, forgiveness and healing will do. The church is not the hope of the world. God is.

OK, where is the stake, and who’s going to light the fire?

A Letter From Satan

2005-10-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine, John Esters, sent this to me today. I wanted to share it with those of you who read this blog regularly. It’s funny, in a creepy kind of way. The problem, though is, it really would be funny if it weren’t true. Thanks, John, for always keeping me on my toes.

A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

Dear Son,
I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living, you are mine.
Remember, you and I have been going steady for years. And I still don't love you yet. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.
You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell. That way, we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God. Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had. We have been cursing people out, stealing, lying, being hypocritical, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental, back stabbing people, disrespecting adults, and those in leadership positions, no respect for the Church, bad attitudes. SURELY you don't want to give all this up. Come on, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us.
This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life. You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in. HA HA HA, you make me sick. Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years older, and now, I need new blood.So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.
Well, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous.
Don't get me wrong, I still hate you.

Your father,
The Devil

Where does the bible tell us to lead others to Christ?

2005-10-11T20:48:00.000-05:00

The question came up one Sunday; where does the bible tell us to lead others to Christ? A believer was asking this, since he was of the opinion that the bible didn’t have a scripture that actually says, “Lead others to Christ,” and that the sinner’s prayer is actually for the church, not the unsaved. It was a challenge, because, in a sense, he was right, and I didn’t have a two minute argument. I asked him for a few days to put a study together that would clarify the need to bring the Gospel message to unbelievers, and lead them to a relationship of grace and salvation. This is my first draft, and if you take the time to actually read through this, you might want to add something to it. I’d like to rewrite it with a little more clarity. Please feel free to add your comments, as this is really a work in progress.

The New Testament is full of direct references to evangelism and leading others to repentance, and many scriptures give a compelling argument for the saving of souls and leading others to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. This study is by no means exhaustive, and I can find no scripture that directly says, “Lead people to Christ;” however, there are many direct references to evangelism and telling people they must repent, receive remission of sins, and be transformed in order to be saved. The life of a disciple involves not only bringing others to Jesus, but teaching them to bring others as well.

Even the Old Testament admonishes us to evangelize the lost. Approximately 1000 years before the ministry of Jesus, David wrote in Psalm 51:12-13 – “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You.” King Solomon also wrote, “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.” Proverbs 11:30 Evangelism has been at the heart of godly men from long before Christ showed up on earth.

The “Great Commission,” is found in Matthew 28:18-20, and Mark 16:15-17. It is touched on in Luke’s account, chapter 24:46-47, which gives us some specific charges. Even John’s writing of Peter’s restoration (in chapter 21:15-19), reveals the heart of Christ in His charge for Peter to “Feed my sheep,” and, “Follow me.” While Jesus did not say directly, “Go out and have people recite a sinner’s prayer,” His direction to us involves some very specific actions that are necessary for us to fulfill His commission. At the heart of this matter is the process of repentance, transformation, and restoration of the soul. The subsequent response and more outward evidence of this is evangelism.

Matthew 28 gives us 4 parts:

Go – a definite action, a command to get away from the immediate area

Make disciples of all the nations – no limited to our surrounding area, the spreading of the Gospel is not limited to a geographic area

Baptize – a definite, outward expression of faith

Teaching to observe all things – all of the commands and precepts of God, “teach” – to disciple, instruct

Mark 16 tells us 3 things:

Go – as above

Preach the Gospel – “preach,” kerusso, Gr. Strong’s #2784 - to herald (as a public crier), tell abroad, proclaim, publish, especially divine truth (the gospel), exhort, call out with a clear voice, communicate, preach. “The herald is to give a public announcement of an official message to issue whatever demands the message entails. The Christian herald is to proclaim the message of salvation through Jesus Christ and issue a summons to repent and receive forgiveness of sins.” (note from the “Spirit-Filled Bible”)

Signs will follow

- Casting out of demons
- Speaking in tongues
- Immunity to snakes – ref. to be able to shake off snakes, as Paul did, immunity to its effects
- Healing the sick – lit. physical and emotional healing

Luke 24:46-47 tells us to preach repentance and remission of sins to all nations.
This is a conscious act of bringing the Gospel to the lost, witnessing, and “leading people to Jesus”

Examples in Jesus’ ministry:

In John 3:3, Jesus tells Nicodemus, “…unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” This is the foundation of repentance, transformation and restoration. Here is the beginning of making disciples; getting a person to new birth. A person that does not have a transformation will not be able to understand spiritual teaching. Romans 8:7 tells us that “the carnal (natural) mind is enmity (in direct opposition to) against God; for it is not subject to the laws of God, nor indeed can be.”

Jesus commissions the disciples to “Go …to the lost sheep of Israel.” Matt 10:6. verse 27b…”that what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops.”
V 32. Whoever therefore shall confess me before men, him I will confess before my Father which is in Heaven.” Luke 9:2 “…And He sent them to preach the kingdom of God.” Chapter 10 has Him commissioning and sending out 70 disciples, two by two, to heal the sick and preach the kingdom of God.

Luke 22:32 KJV But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

Examples from the apostles’ ministry:

One doesn’t have to get far into the Acts of the Apostles to find them first commissioned to be witnesses (v. 8), and after being filled with the Holy Spirit in Chapter 2, Peter delivers a bold sermon that reignites their ministry. Peter states in v 21 “that whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Here he is proclaiming Christ’s own words and further confirming that a man needs not only to be led, but confession is necessary. Peter later calls for repentance and baptism for the remission of sins, and further, to receive the Holy Spirit. At the end of chapter 2, we see that their fellowship (no doubt involving the sharing of their faith with the unsaved) caused signs and wonders. The Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.

Chapter 3 again solidifies Peter and John’s example of discipleship ministry. There is healing and preaching. Again Peter states in v 19, “Repent…and be converted…” bringing the message of Christ, the Gospel, leading people to Him. He was doing what Jesus commissioned him to do. (Feed my sheep. – John 21:15-19)

The power of the disciple’s ministry continues throughout the book of Acts. Chapter 5:12-14 “…through the hands of the apostles many signs and wonders…believers were increasingly added to the Lord…” healings, demons cast out, they continued to preach and lead people to Christ. V 42 says, “…they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.”

The book of Acts is full of the apostles leading others to Jesus. The only instance recorded where Jesus personally appeared to a person that got converted was in Chapter 9, when he appeared to Saul as a light, and He directed him to go into Damascus. V 6 …”the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.” Then, Jesus directed Ananias to go speak to Saul. V 15, “But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel:” Paul’s mission was revealed to Ananias, that he would be leading people to Jesus.
V 17, “And Ananias went his way and entered the house; and laying his hands on him he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you came, has sent me that you may receive your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” V 20, “Immediately he preached the Christ in the synagogues, that He is the Son of God.”

More scripture that encourages evangelism:

Jude 1:21-23 21keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. 22 And on some have compassion, making a distinction, 23 but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.

1 Cor 9:19-20, 19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; 20 and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law;

John 4:35-36 35 Do you not say, ‘There are still four months and then comes the harvest’? Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest! 36 And he who reaps receives wages, and gathers fruit for eternal life, that both he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together.

Luke 12:8-10 8 “Also I say to you, whoever confesses Me before men, him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God. 9 But he who denies Me before men will be denied before the angels of God. 10 “And anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but to him who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven.

Luke 15:10 “Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

John 5:25 Most assuredly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God; and those who hear will live.

John 15:8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

John 15:16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.

John 17:18, 23 As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world… I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.

1 Cor 11:1 Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

There are many direct references and charges from Jesus, examples from the apostles’ ministry, and words to the church from Paul that direct us to lead others to Christ. 2 Tim 4:5 tells us to “do the work of an evangelist.” Eph 4:11 lists evangelists as one of the necessary components of the ministry. This one passage, however, is probably the most convicting:

Romans 10: 8-17 But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart ](that is, the word of faith which we preach): 9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” 12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. 13 For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved, 14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? 15 And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “ How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!”
16 But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, “LORD, who has believed our report? 17 So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

The study of this scripture has me conclude this one thing; we are called to lead others to a saving relationship with Jesus, and to preach the kingdom of God.

Let It Be Known...

2005-09-30T11:35:00.000-05:00

I am not complaining when I sarcastically make comments about loving our fall weather here in Texas. I would prefer it to be hot year-round. If my wife would let me, I would move to somewhere on the equator, where I would never have to worry about cold days.

Honestly, when the mercury dips below 70F, I start digging out sweaters and long-sleeves. I'm just not a cold weather person, and right now (Trish) I am living as far north as I care to be. When it starts to cool down in the fall, I try not to venture any further north than Waco, and even that's too far. Thanks for the invite, but from now until mid-July, I'll just "hunker down" for the Texas winter, and pray for no more than a week of sub 50F weather. I only venture north of Waco from July-September 1.

I like mowing my lawn over the Christmas holidays.
I like playing golf wearing shorts in mid-January.
I like not having to scrape ice off my windshield.
I like not having to shovel snow.
I like having to apply sunscreen and weekends at the lake, even in February.
I love Texas summers....the hotter, the better.

We had a cool front blow through yesterday, which will make our high today a "cool" 90F, tomorrow 94F. Suits me just fine...

I love our Fall weather

2005-09-26T16:42:00.000-05:00

I love our Fall weather… We broke another temperature record today. Yesterday’s temp was only 102F. My car's thermometer recorded 110F on the road home. It really is that hot today.

That’s what I love about Texas!

The Weather, My Dad, and People Over-Reacting

2005-09-24T12:10:00.000-05:00

Anytime there was major weather or a major news event in our area, I could count on a call from my father. Dad would call if he heard there was rain, a tornado, or front coming through. He loved the weather, and taught me to observe the weather too. He was a navigator in the Air Force, and I was one on a ship in the Coast Guard, so we shared an affinity for weather and cloud observation. We could both identify clouds, their composition, and their altitude. He could forecast short-term weather better than the news meteorologists. He taught me the movement of weather patterns, and could calculate what time an approaching storm would hit. I'm lucky that his knowledge passed on to me as well.

This week has brought Hurricane Rita to the Texas coast. In Central Texas a week ago, they were predicting the storm would pass through here and forecasting 50 mph winds and lots of rain. All of the tracking models were showing the path coming right through here, so we were preparing for some major weather.

On Thursday, even Ft. Hood (30 miles west of here and where my office is) announced that the entire post would close and only "essential personnel" like police, fire and EMS would be allowed access. They closed the PX, both financial institutions, food outlets, etc. So now, with the biggest threat to us being 20-25 mph winds, the whole post was locked down this morning, but they decided to open the Exchange, shoppettes, commissary, and gas stations at noon today. There is still an elevated alert and official safety alerts are posted.

Gasoline is in short supply all along Interstate 35, and places here in Temple are awaiting new supplies. People really freaked out, and went on a frenzy buying up all the water and batteries they could find. In the meantime, I knew all along there would be no danger to us, except maybe a gas shortage. The most I did was secure my patio furniture, and stow my barbecue pit and some loose items on the back porch so the wind wouldn't blow them around. We're not even going to benefit here from some of the rain on the fringes of Rita. So this morning, I turned the sprinkler on in the front, and watered all my plants in the back.

The thing I thought the most about though, is that I've talked to my brother from Katy, my brother from Oklahoma, my sister in Austin, and my sister and mom San Antonio this week. The weather connected us like it has all of our lives. Even though my dad isn't here to call us all, we've just called each other because there's a hurricane. And we were all concerned about my brother who lives near Houston who's now tucked away safely at my mom's house in San Antonio.

I've enjoyed being outside today. It's a little strange with 90 degree temps, and 20 mph winds. This morning the winds reminded me of an approaching front in the fall. It was cool enough to fool us, but now it's hot, and the wind is warm and dry. Even my front yard I watered this morning looks dry again. The wind and heat are causing some pretty rapid evaporation.

I love weather, and I love watching the sky. Today has made me feel close to my family, and I can feel my dad's appreciation of the weather situation. Lots of things remind me of him, but the weather especially does...especially when it makes all us siblings call each other. I think I'll call my sister in Colorado now.

The Thing About Grace

2005-09-23T17:10:00.000-05:00

I was on pins and needles yesterday waiting to hear from my brother and his family that were on their way to San Antonio from Houston. Linda and I prayed for them the evening before and the morning they left. We had to put our concerns in God's hands and believe they would arrive safely. They did.
While I don't know if my prayers actually made God stop what he was doing, and say, "OK, I was going to let them wreck if you hadn't asked me." I don't know if my prayers made God dispatch a few more republican angels to watch over them. And I don't know that God made a force field around them just because I prayed. But I do believe this, that He was aware of my prayers, and I found comfort in knowing that He has the ultimate say, and He will be there for me no matter what.
I do know that He is all I can hold on to, and that He has yet to forsake me, even though many might have looked and thought He did. I'm thankful for His grace working in my life, and that I can place my faith in Him. I know tests and difficult times will always be there, only grace can get me through.

I Wanna Play Tag

2005-09-17T15:10:00.000-05:00

Why don't adults play tag? Linda and I took our two grandkids, A.J. and Izzy, to the park this morning. I love to go to the park with Izzy, and today it was twice as special because we have A.J. for the weekend (our 5 year-old). They had no sooner let their little feet hit the ground coming out of the car, that they started running to the playground. There were a dozen or so kids there playing, all of them unfamiliar faces, but within a couple of minutes, they had joined in a game of tag. Just like that....no walls, no issues, no trying to size up or assess another kid's politics or religious background. Color didn't matter either. It was simply, "Play now, ask questions later."

I watched them run and play, all the while they were laughing and screaming with the fun they were having. No one got mad because they were "it." When my grandson tripped while being chased, the little boy who was "it" stopped and said, "Time out...you can't be tagged if you fall." As soon as he got up and dusted off, the kid tagged him! It was hilarious.

I looked at Linda and asked, "Why don't adults play like that? Why don't we play tag?" We're too preoccupied with all the things we think are important to start a game of tag. We take life too seriously to start having fun. Wouldn't it be fun if one day at work we all just decided to go outside and engage in a game of tag?

I think I'll start a game inside on Monday, and see where it goes...

A Spiritual View of Katrina

2005-09-07T18:52:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning with a question on my heart: Why is there so much HATE aroused about Hurricane Katrina, the War in Iraq, conservative Christians, and President Bush in particular? Why are the liberals reaching a fever-pitched frenzy of blame and accusations about how the events of last week have unfolded? Why is the hatred and anger spreading like wildfire?

The answer is simple: it's a spiritual issue.

While the war and the election of the President was man's choice, the hurricane was a natural disaster that no person or organization could have possibly caused. Global warming? I don't think so; tell that to the victims of hurricanes going back for centuries. It was simply a natural occurrence, an act of meteorology, not controllable or preventable by anything man is capable of now. The anger and lashing out is spiritual.

The hurricane’s effects on this nation have just begun to be felt. Not only is our entire nation going to be affected economically, physically, and emotionally, but the spiritual impact will be felt for generations, even eternally for some. Many will come to God for answers, and many will find Him. No wonder the enemy has unleashed such a horde of demonic activity, full of hatred, and propagated by those who adamantly and obstinately oppose Christianity.

There is a greater war at hand than the one in Iraq. It is a war for the soul of our nation, and every warrior in Satan’s army has been given a free rein to divide our nation, separate the weak and destroy their souls. The bible tells us that “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Eph 6:12.

We are in a war. The enemy is Satan and his army of demons. THe battle lines are drawn and we have the power to overtake the enemy if we do not get into a defensive position. The best defense is a good offense. We must offensively fight this battle with prayer and intercession for this nation, especially for those who are so bent on division. Pray for their hearts to soften. Pray for them to hear the message of hope with an open heart. Pray for them to find God’s love through those of us who have the opportunity to show it to them.

Fighting a fleshly battle does no good. Arguing and trying to reason with the ones who spread their hate with words and venom will not change their minds. Lowering ourselves to their level with cheap shots and name-calling doesn’t show the love of Christ, which is what they need most. We are at a spiritual crossroad, and how we choose to fight will have eternal consequences.

There are many practical things that are being done as a nation who is struggling to pull together and overcome the enormous obstacles cause by the wind, waves, and the flooding. There are many other “rescuers” being called during this time to mobilize with prayer and intercession. We must not forget the power that prayer has to change even the direst of circumstances.

Pray for the hearts of the refugees. Yes, I will use the politically incorrect term. A refugee is simply someone who is seeking a safe place or taking refuge. Is “evacuee” any better a description? Why do we have to split hairs over semantics? Pray that they seek and find the heart of God in this matter. Pray that they do not get overtaken with bitterness and blame. Pray that they turn their hearts to seek refuge from a Holy God, who alone can heal their hearts and truly save them.

Pray for the hearts of those called out with the task of evacuation of the rest of the city, and cleanup of the destruction. Pray that they will also find refuge and comfort in the hands of the Father. Pray for their safety as they undertake a dangerous task, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Pray for their strength as they uncover the dead and face an overwhelming test of their emotions and will. Pray that they will see the hand of God in this terrible situation.

Pray for the hearts of those that choose to use their hurt and anger to lash out with division and harsh words. Pray that in seeking answers, they will find none in their outrage and anger. Pray that their hatred not reach those that are hurting, but that the confusion and blind rage would be quelled by love. Pray that the blindness would be removed and they can see what God is doing. And pray for their hurts, that they too will be comforted.

And most of all, pray for the hearts of our leaders on all levels of government. They need our support and encouragement, not hate and blame. Pray that they also will be moved by God and they can see the truth. Pray that their hearts would be softened by the outpouring of love from the people of God. Pray that their hearts would be led by the Lord, and the hard decisions they have to make would be preceded by prayer and seeking God. Pray that as they seek God they will find him, and they too will be comforted.

We MUST remember that spiritual issues cannot be fought with any words except those words we lift to God in prayer. We cannot afford to fight with those who are politically or philosophically opposed to us. They are not the enemy, Satan is. I encourage you with these words. If you are spiritual, pray. Pray like your life depended on it, because it does.

HOUSING Opportunities for Katrina Survivors

2005-09-05T08:58:00.000-05:00

I came across this website today. If you have housing for any survivors, please go to this site and register.

HOUSING Opportunities for Katrina Survivors

You can register what you have available, number of rooms, how many people you can take, how long you can provide housing, and whether or not you can provide transportation from a designated area. There is also a place you can leave a more detailed description of what you have available. The local resources (Salvation Army, Red Cross, etc.) are getting overwhelmed, and I haven't even gotten a return call from them yet. I'm going to go down there physically and volunteer today.

If anyone can help me provide a more permanent link underneath my title, please contact me and help me out.

In the Wake of Katrina, What are We Going to Do?

2005-09-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

I am profoundly moved by the events of the past week concerning Hurricane Katrina, and its impact on us as a nation. I have wept over the destruction of property and lives, but I have also been greatly dismayed at the blame and division so many have been fostering and propagating. The right of free speech carries with it an enormous responsibility.

Ted K. gave the sermon in our church meeting today. He opened with a story about a lesson he learned when he was 14. Some ladies at the church were “passing around” a baby for everyone to hold. Someone passed it to Ted and as soon as he took hold of him, he smelled “the mother load.” He promptly returned the baby to its mommy for a changing. As poop can be, it was a rather strong smell, and it lingered even after Ted had given the baby back. Even after he went outside, he continued to smell the poopy baby, and when he looked down at his shirt, he realized why. The baby had leaked a little onto his shirt. The lesson he learned from this was simple: “If it stinks everywhere you go, it’s probably you.” People that blame everything on someone else maybe need to look at themselves.

It’s human nature to blame. In Genesis 3:11, we find Adam answering God about eating of the forbidden fruit. Adam responds to God, blaming the only 2 other people he knew; Eve and God. “It’s not my fault. You made the woman and she listened to the serpent.” Even Adam passed the buck, rather than taking any personal responsibility.

“When we start blaming, we cut off the flow of solutions.” – Ted

In John 9: 1-5, we read the story of Jesus healing a blind man. This is the story from The Message Bible:
Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, "Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?" Jesus said, "You're asking the wrong question. You're looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over. For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world's Light."
He said this and then spit in the dust, made a clay paste with the saliva, rubbed the paste on the blind man's eyes, and said, "Go, wash at the Pool of Siloam" (Siloam means "Sent"). The man went and washed--and saw.

When we try to place blame on others we become blind to what God can do. When we become blind to what others are doing, we can focus on what God can do.” – Ted

Notice Jesus’ answer: “You’re asking the wrong question…” “ Jesus told his disciples that trying to figure out “why” or whose fault it was didn’t matter. The real question is looking instead for what God can do, and to energetically get to work while it was time to work.

In the case of the wake of Katrina, there has been a lot of blame being thrown around that is extremely counter-productive. It is dividing the people of this great nation who really need to come together, putting aside our political and philosophical differences and work “while the sun shines.”

Who cares who’s fault it is? It doesn’t matter anymore.” –Ted

What’s important now is not what has or hasn’t been done, but what we can do as a nation now. It’s time to heal, time to work together, and time for us to console the grieving and give what we can to help the victims.

This disaster was natural, not man-made. The aftermath of the disaster is what we choose for it to become. The destruction Katrina left is a wound on our nation. We will all feel the effects, both short-term, like paying more for gasoline, and long term; economically, spiritually, and emotionally. We still have the power as a nation to make a difference for the good of all. Petty animosity, blaming political leaders, and name calling isn’t going to heal our nation. Prayer, hard work, and stepping out of our comfort-zone will; but only if we, as a nation, are willing to put aside our politics and hatred.

If I saw someone drowning, I would not stop and ask their politics before extending a hand to rescue them. I wouldn’t even care. I would just try to save the person, even if it meant putting myself in danger. I am of the opinion that taking care of what needs to be done first is more important than discussing why it happened and trying to put the blame on someone. I am committed to doing whatever I can to help heal our nation. Spiritually, I must pray. Economically, I must give what I can. And practically, I must roll up my sleeves and volunteer my efforts, my home, my car, or whatever it takes. I am going to do my part. I implore us all to do the same.

All differences aside...

2005-08-31T08:46:00.000-05:00

I remember the attitude of Americans in the face of 9/11, for too short a period following that disaster. I noticed we were all more tolerant of each other, as Americans we recognized we had a common enemy and it was not each other. We rallied together, locking arms, and dropping political differences, setting aside religious differences, and looking beyond color and racial lines. It was a proud time to be an American.
Now here we have another type of disaster; a natural one. We see the pictures of the disaster unfolding, hear the broadcasts of the rescues, the looters, and the dead. We see those displaced by a vicious storm. It's time to act again, and come together as Americans. Our own are being displaced, have lost their homes and loved ones. There are so many left with literally, only the clothes on their back.
I have a nice home that I am thankful for. It's just my wife and I living here. We've got spare bedrooms. I've offered it up in craigslist.com for a family that may need a place to stay. If you know of someone who might need a place in central Texas, please contact me via my email link in my profile.

Blogjam

2005-08-24T22:06:00.000-05:00

The analytical part of my brain has been in high gear, leaving little room for the left side to work. I've been fast and furious at work, trying to recover from a week's absence at the beginning of the month. I'm not sure when things will restabilize, but there's a lot to write about.
I've been contemplating this relationship with the Lord. How is it, that we lose the zeal we had as new Christians and settle for a mediocre existence as Christians in the world? I'm really fighting a battle with a lack of prayer, bible study, and consequently, enthusiasm. My creativity has suffered as well. I have so much in my head that I want to do, but circumstances have created a stifling effect. Even now, I find it difficult to write this.
If you're the praying type, please keep me in prayer. Thanks

Goodbye Liberal Weenies

2005-08-16T22:46:00.000-05:00

I've decided to quit reading and posting comments on "Liberal" blogsites. It's pure stupidity. I've never run across a bigger bunch of nincompoops, sourpusses, and self-exalted pinheads in my life. It's depressing, even. No logic, pure rote. They must all be reading the same blogs and faxes.
I just have to remember that "the carnal mind is emnity against God and is not subject to the laws of God, nor indeed can it be." Romans 8:7. There's just no making any sense to these people, so I quit. It's like arguing with my dog. It makes no sense to the dog, and I just get frustrated.

I Give You Permission

2005-08-13T22:21:00.000-05:00

with thanks to Bob, who gave me the idea for this post...

I give you permission:

to ask me how I am doing, and not accept "Fine" for an answer
to ask me if I am telling you the truth
to ask my wife the same question
to ask me if I am struggling with any sin
to get real with me
to ask me about my prayer life
to ask me about where my relationship with God is
to ask me where my relationship with my wife and kids is
to ask me if I am being honest in all of my financial dealings
to ask me about my integrity
to put your arm around me and tell me you love me
to accept mine too
to pray for me
to call me no matter what time it is

Thanks, Bob...

Jimmy the Boss, Guido, and Little Ray

2005-08-08T19:39:00.000-05:00

Pete came to JC and asked, “Lord, how much slack do I cut my brother and let him backstab me over and over? The dude’s pushed my buttons seven times already, ain’t that enough?" JC took a breath and told him, "You ain’t even close, little bro, try it another 500 times. Let me tell you what it’s like, man, if you’re gonna walk this walk. There was a man named Jimmy the Boss and he was out collecting his accounts. Guido had a meeting with the Boss, and he was nervous, because he owed the Boss some serious coin: close to 100 grand, and he couldn’t pay. He’d been ducking him for a while, but now it was crunch-time. He was trying to figure out a way to ask the Boss for a little time, but even then, he knew the debt was too large.
When the Boss showed up, Guido was pretty edgy, because the Boss had some of the other family with him. “Let’s take a little ride,” said one of the Boss’s men, holding open the limo’s door. Guido got in, and as the door shut behind him, the limo took off. There he was, face to face with the Boss, who was preparing to deal with one of his most faithful men in his organization.
“So whatabout the cash, Guido? It’s over a year’s pay for you. Since you can’t pay, you know what I gotta do. It’s strictly business, Guido, it’s not personal.” The Boss ordered cement shoes for Guido, and then to have his family picked up to settle the debt. Guido fell on his knees, kissed the Boss’s ring and begged, “Give me a little more time, Boss, and I’ll pay every dime. You know I’m good for it.”
Jimmy the Boss was soft on Guido, so he told his boys to let him go, and then told Guido. “Fugetaboudit…someday I may need to ask a favor of you.” So Guido split and found Little Ray Smalls, who owed him about fifty bucks. He knocked Little Ray in the knees and said, “Pay up, you loser!” Little Ray fell on the ground, kissed Guido’s hand and begged for mercy, just as Guido had done. But he would not have mercy and ordered his boys to break his fingers until he could pay his debt. When his boys saw what he was doing, they went and ratted Guido out to Jimmy the Boss.
So the Boss had Guido picked up again, and said, “You ain’t right, Guido, I cut you slack because you showed me respect, and this is what you do to Little Ray? The Boss cut Guido off right there and ordered his men to work him over until he paid back all that was due.
That’s how it is, Pete. You ain’t gonna get no slack if you can’t cut your brother no slack."
(Paraphrased, Matthew 18:21-35)

This is a story that centers on three things: forgiveness, mercy, and remembering where we came from. I wonder why Peter came and asked this question of Jesus. What was going on with him? Who had offended him? Or, was it just a hypothetical question? But Jesus went to the heart of the matter quickly, telling Peter, the kingdom of heaven is like this…
The story itself is a paradox. Why, we wonder, does a man who has just been forgiven of a huge debt, turn right around and not show mercy from someone who used the same course of begging for mercy as he did, and for a much smaller amount? Looking at it from the third person, we may even be indignant and judgmental of this servant. Yet, in reality, many times we are guilty of doing this very thing. We tend to want judgment for others and mercy for ourselves.
We forget we were once lost, apart from God, and had to ask forgiveness and mercy. We are offended by the lost people around us, and even worse, our Christian brothers and sisters. It’s been said that the “Army of God” is the only army that regularly shoots its own soldiers. The bickering and backbiting in the church is a disgrace, and it’s no wonder that the world wonders where the hope is. It’s interesting that Peter asked about forgiving a “brother” who offended him.
The principle of “seventy times seven” is not a formula to give us a limit on the number of times someone can offend us before we don’t have to any more. Forgiveness, by its nature means we no longer hold the offense against the offender any longer. So, in a sense, technically, it is as if he had never sinned or offended us. Isn’t that how God handles our sin when we confess and ask for mercy?
I think though, that the master in this story probably was wise enough to not ever trust the servant with such a large account again, and might not have allowed further credit unwisely, unless he was again willing to lose it all. We need to exercise wisdom in forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean we just blindly trust the offender again, at least not until the offender can rebuild trust. In other words, we may forgive an abuser, but not allow that person back to cause more abuse. That’s another issue.
God’s grace was enough to forgive my sin, as great as it has been. Who am I to hold judgment on another for something less than I did to offend God?

San Diego

2005-08-06T21:55:00.000-05:00

I'm off for San Diego for the week, so I may not post until I return. I'm working on a couple of other bible stories to post. I think you'll like them. This is for my family, who don't get to see Izzy all that often. I'm amazed at how quickly she's growing up!

My little angel

Grandpa's girl

Five Loaves of Bread and Two Skinny Fish

2005-08-01T11:27:00.000-05:00

JC and His 12 running buddies were hanging out in his old 'hood of Nazareth, and JC had been speaking in the local church. The home boys and local preachers there heckled His teaching, because they just knew him as "Joe's kid"... from the woodshop. They remarked, "We knew that skinny boy growing up, His mama Mary, and His bro's, Jimmy, Josh, Pete, and Judas... and His sisters, don't they all live around here? Where does this Man get off talking like that?” They felt dissed by Him.
But JC said to them, “Man, I get respect everywhere else, just not in my old 'hood.” Because they didn't show him any respect, He didn't do many miracles there... so the boys and He all hoofed it out of there and went on.
Now, JC had just heard that His cousin, Johnny had his head cut off because of the king's daughter. He decided to take off out to the country where it was deserted, but when all the people heard about it, they all followed Him there from the different 'hoods. When JC saw all the crowd, His heart went out to them, and He spent some time praying for those that were sick. As night was approaching, the boys came and said, "Dude, we're way out here and it's getting late, send these fools home so they can get dinner." JC said to them, "Man, this party's just starting up, don't send them back, get them some food." His buddies said, "Man, all we have is like, five loaves of bread and two skinny fish."
JC just rolled His eyes (thinking, "These fools have been with me all this time and they still argue with me...") and said, "Bring it here to me." He told the crowd, "Y'all have a seat, get ready to feast!" He took the bread and the fish, looked up to heaven and blessed the meal. Then He broke up the bread, and gave it to the guys to pass it to the crowd. The party was on! JC just decided to hang out and laugh and talk with everyone, and not preach. Everyone ate, even seconds and thirds, until they were all full. When they were done partying, they all helped to pick up and they collected 12 baskets full of leftovers. It was said there were about 5000 men there, plus the women and children that came with them.
(my paraphrase from Matthew 13 & 14)

I think it's cool that Jesus just hung out with the crowd. I can imagine Him, cutting up and having fun with His followers, just being one of them. There's no mention of a sermon in this story, just compassion, prayer, and healing the sick. I imagine also there was wine to go with the meal, as people get thirsty while eating, so it had to be a heck of a party. I can't imagine a bunch of non-religious people, eating and drinking, just sitting there quietly, especially after many of them had just been healed! And after a few glasses of wine, I know some of those guys started singing and telling jokes.
This story is full of miracles. It's a story of compassion and the intense desire for fellowship Jesus had for those who were willing to follow Him into the countryside. Jesus must have realized this crowd didn't need to hear preaching, they just needed someone among them who spoke their language, recognized their needs, and gave them what they needed. They were tired, sick, and hungry, so He had them rest, He healed them, and He fed them. That's the Jesus I follow, the One who meets every need. That's the real miracle.